Inarticulate (for McSheplets Challenge #54: Mixed Signals)
Title: Inarticulate
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: NC-17. Of the fluffy variety.
Warnings: Nothing not covered by the NC-17 rating
Word count: 1252
Summary: John's better with actions than with words
(this was going to be part of the McSheplets Tree, branching off the phrase "John quietly left the lab", but *sigh* it got away on me and was just too long for comment fic. But luckily it's kind of about mixed signals too.)
The murmur of voices brought John up short, screened from view by a cluster of whiteboards just inside the main door of the lab. He recognised Rodney’s tones, awkward and halting. The other person was a woman, softer-spoken, her words harder to catch.
John had a momentary pang of guilt and of irritation with himself. Lurking like a goddam stalker, eavesdropping on Rodney and - Katie? Yes, it was Katie Brown, he was sure. But he couldn’t make his feet move, couldn’t back away. Shit.
“…just not working out Rodney, you must feel it yourself?”
“No, I. Yes. Whatever you think. I knew it couldn’t…Yes, well.”
Rodney sounded strained, his voice harsh and resigned. John hated to hear him so defeated. For a moment he hated Katie Brown, then he felt a surge of relief and hope, then a wave of self-disgust. Jesus, this was why he'd tried not to care about anyone; he’d always preferred Ferris wheels to roller-coasters.
John quietly left the lab and made his way back to his room, where he paced about then threw himself down on the bed feeling irritable and unsettled.
Katie had given Rodney the old heave-ho. Well, so what? It didn’t mean that he and Rodney, that they would…He rubbed his face, fed up with all this adolescent crap. His brain seemed to be channeling Cosmopolitan or some stupid daytime soap. It wasn’t until Rodney had started dating Katie that John had even realised how he felt about Rodney and begun thinking about him like this. Well, thinking wasn’t really the right word. Obsessing. Brooding. Crushing. Fuck.
He got up and took a shower, letting the water batter his upturned face, trying not to think about anything at all. Especially Rodney. In the shower. And most especially not about how the water would bounce off Rodney’s curved ass, trickle through his chest hair and down his strong thighs. Oh Christ.
John turned the shower off with a thought and dried himself with the thin, military-issue towel, then wrapped it around his waist and mooched back into the bedroom.
Rodney was sitting on the bed, staring at his hands.
“Jeez McKay, ever heard of knocking?”
“I did; you didn’t hear me. Sorry, I. I just.” Rodney sighed. “Not having a good day so I thought maybe we could, I dunno, watch a movie or play chess or something. If you’re not, I mean, going out. Got other plans. Whatever.”
John leaned on the table, trying to put his game face on and hide the fact that his heart was beating in his throat. “No, I’m cool, got no special plans. Shitty day, huh?”
“Yeah.” Rodney fell heavily back on the bed with his arms across his face, his voice muffled. “Katie dumped me.”
“What?” John felt another pang of guilt for being so disingenuous. “Katie Brown?”
“Yes, Katie Brown who I’ve been dating!” Rodney was sitting up again, flushed and irritable. “She dumped me, OK?”
“Hey, calm down McKay, I’m trying to be sympathetic here.”
“Oh. Well, you’re crap at it.” Rodney was on his feet now, restless, his fingers twitching, lower lip quivering as he looked everywhere but at John.
John grimaced: “Yeah, so I’ve been told. I’m not good with words.” He sighed. “Look Rodney, I’m sorry. I mean, not about Katie. I mean, I’m sorry for you, not that you broke up with. Fuck.” Rodney was glowering at him now, fists clenched. “That didn’t come out right, I didn’t mean…”
“Thanks Colonel, I think you’ve said quite enough.” Rodney turned and strode to the door, reaching out to palm the lock.
“No!” John grabbed his shoulders, spinning Rodney away from the door and pressing him against the wall. “Fuck, I can’t say it right, I can’t-”
He leaned in and kissed Rodney hard, pinning his hands to the wall, canting his hips against Rodney’s. Rodney was warm and he smelled of the lab: fried plastic, whiteboard markers, coffee. John licked across his lips and Rodney made a surprised noise and opened to him. His eyes were wide and startled, blue rapidly darkening, too intense, too close. John closed his own eyes and tasted Rodney’s mouth, letting go of Rodney’s hands and sliding his fingers into Rodney’s hair, pulling him in hungrily.
They broke off, breathless. John kissed his neck, unable to stop himself from nuzzling in and smelling behind Rodney’s ear.
Rodney sounded dazed. “So you. This is…what? Sheppard? You want?”
“Yes,” muttered John into the soft skin of Rodney’s neck. “You. Want…”
He slid down and pressed his face to the crotch of Rodney’s pants, rubbing his nose along his half-hard cock, feeling it twitch and lengthen. He blew hot air on it through the fabric as he undid the button, the zipper. Rodney groaned and arched into his mouth a little.
“Fuck, Sheppard, fuck.”
John kissed the rounded head of Rodney’s cock and ran it along his upper, then his lower lip. He licked it gently. Rodney hissed and shuddered, stiffening. The skin was so silky, and John fitted his lips over the head and sucked softly, wrapping his hand around the shaft. He put his other arm behind Rodney and grabbed his ass, pulling him forward as he took Rodney down, letting his cock press against the roof of his mouth, tonguing the underside.
“Jesus John. God. Oh fuck-” Rodney’s hands were in his hair as he tried not to thrust too deeply, his thighs trembling. John pulled back and looked up: Rodney’s head was back against the wall, eyelashes dark on his pink cheeks, hips making helpless shimmying movements. “So good, your mouth…oh god-”
John took him further into his throat, moaning around the meat of Rodney’s cock, lost in the smell of sweat and sex and Rodney, musky and thick as he sucked and slurped, the towel falling away as he rubbed himself off against Rodney’s leg.
“John! John I…I can’t…going to-”
“Mmph!” said John encouragingly. “Nnngh!” He sucked harder, swallowing around the bitter-salt flooding his mouth, jerking through his own orgasm against Rodney’s knee as Rodney gasped and writhed against him.
He slumped forward, holding Rodney gently in his mouth as he softened, unwilling to let him go. This was the easy part, with his mouth full of Rodney. He wanted to stay like that forever, never having to move or stand up. Never having to talk.
Rodney’s hands drew him up, after a minute. “Jesus Sheppard, come here.” He was pulled against a broad, pale shoulder, tucked into Rodney’s neck again. He put one hand up to stroke Rodney’s cheek. It was wet.
John opened his eyes, leaning back a little, frowning at Rodney’s face. He traced the wet trail down Rodney’s cheek with his thumb. “You’re…Oh. I’m sorry, that was. Right after Katie’d...” John pushed himself back reluctantly, looking away, angry with himself. “Sorry, I was. Yeah, um. Out of order when you were…Sorry.”
“Come here, you moron.” Rodney pulled him back into his arms. “Jesus. It’s a good thing I’m talkative, Mr Inarticulate. I’m not crying because Katie dumped me. Yeah, it wasn’t a high spot in my life to date, but she was right, it wasn’t working. I’m crying because you finally, we finally. When I’d given up.” He smiled, mouth crooked. “Hmmm. Not so articulate myself, now. Wanted you for so long, but I never thought you, mmph!-"
John pulled him in and kissed the hell out of him, because he wanted to, and because finally, fucking finally, he could.
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