that platonic love of HMS pumpkin pie
A two hour long talk with Xiao later, I think I've made some conclusions over the HP deal.
1 - I really incorporate H/Hr into my ideal relationship. Rather than pursuing just purely sexual attraction, it's all about the companionship - the complete understanding and compatiability between two souls. Assuming that sexual attraction and companionship are mutually exclusive, I'd go for the latter every time. It's what I admire the most about the relationship between Harry and Hermione and it's what I also seek in my own life.
2 - Things that really irritated me about Book 6/7 and Rowling
A - Rowling claimed that she wrote character driven plot. She doesn't. If she did, she would have recognized that she wrote a really beautiful companionship between Harry and Hermione and not try to change it 3/4 through the series with Lovesick!Hermione, MonsterInMyChest!Harry, MarySue!Ginny, and WonWon!Ron.
B - I really admired and emotionally invested in the series and Rowling. It was a deep betrayal to hear from her after Book 6 that "Harry/Hermione shippers are delusional, they should have seen the anvil sized hints about OBHWF". It's like seeing everything you held in high esteem be revealed as nothing more than a sham.
C - The amount of control Rowling felt was necessary for the HP universe. Her version of H/G just isn't believable, compared to the so called non-romantic relationship of H/Hr, yet she's so adamant about making everything her way that she not only writes in book 7 a line for Harry that "[Hermione]'s just like a sister to me" but closes everything up in the epilogue so fans can't even write their own version of what happens later.
D - In my opinion, the series isn't about the romances. It's about the trio and the strength of their friendship. The series really should have ended with the three of them solid together at the end, in celebration of what friendship can do to defeat evil. But instead, we get this crapilogue that isn't believable and isn't necessary.
3 - Not surprisingly, even though I have tried to leave this all behind by 3-4 years being out of fandom, it comes all rushing back just as intense as ever with HP7. It's really rooted in my system it seems. As Xiao says, "the most difficult thing in life is not escaping, but living with it".
4 - Xiao suggested that perhaps it is hurtful more so because "it betrays an ideal about how human relations should work or how we want them to work, an example of human imperfection in the face of perfect idealism". It's hard for me to hold the opposing idea of OBHWF in the HP universe along with H/Hr, especially with canon being so prominent. I haven't been able to let go of the bitterness against canon yet to hold those two ideas together and enjoy character insights about Harry and Hermione in the face of OBHWF.
5 - While consciously I want to let go of the bitterness so I can enjoy things that remind me of HP and get back into HP fandom, subconsciously I need more time to blow off steam at Rowling/the rest of the world/etc. This is especially true with the last two movies out and the controversy over whether Hermione could have ended up with Harry. It's bringing back all the ship wars again and OBHWF shippers are still angry that we H/Hr can still give them a run for their money on the polls, despite the fact that they won the ship war and had canon. (They just can't get over that H/Hr's relationship will always be more fleshed out, even in friendship, than the "romance" written for OBHWF in canon). It will probably take until after the second half of HP7 comes out next (northern hemisphere) summer comes out before everyone goes back to their own corners and I can be at peace with the whole thing.
So in the meantime, I'll go back to enjoying some H/Hr fanfic and media from the movies. It's great to see harryhermione active again with fic and icon posts, and discussions! I've missed them. I think Portkey's still got something weird going on because I can't figure out how to get to my favorite fanfics except by the most convulted way (I'm pretty sure there was a way to just get to my profile...?). It'll take a little while to get familiar with everything again, but this time it will be a good homecoming.
1 - I really incorporate H/Hr into my ideal relationship. Rather than pursuing just purely sexual attraction, it's all about the companionship - the complete understanding and compatiability between two souls. Assuming that sexual attraction and companionship are mutually exclusive, I'd go for the latter every time. It's what I admire the most about the relationship between Harry and Hermione and it's what I also seek in my own life.
2 - Things that really irritated me about Book 6/7 and Rowling
A - Rowling claimed that she wrote character driven plot. She doesn't. If she did, she would have recognized that she wrote a really beautiful companionship between Harry and Hermione and not try to change it 3/4 through the series with Lovesick!Hermione, MonsterInMyChest!Harry, MarySue!Ginny, and WonWon!Ron.
B - I really admired and emotionally invested in the series and Rowling. It was a deep betrayal to hear from her after Book 6 that "Harry/Hermione shippers are delusional, they should have seen the anvil sized hints about OBHWF". It's like seeing everything you held in high esteem be revealed as nothing more than a sham.
C - The amount of control Rowling felt was necessary for the HP universe. Her version of H/G just isn't believable, compared to the so called non-romantic relationship of H/Hr, yet she's so adamant about making everything her way that she not only writes in book 7 a line for Harry that "[Hermione]'s just like a sister to me" but closes everything up in the epilogue so fans can't even write their own version of what happens later.
D - In my opinion, the series isn't about the romances. It's about the trio and the strength of their friendship. The series really should have ended with the three of them solid together at the end, in celebration of what friendship can do to defeat evil. But instead, we get this crapilogue that isn't believable and isn't necessary.
3 - Not surprisingly, even though I have tried to leave this all behind by 3-4 years being out of fandom, it comes all rushing back just as intense as ever with HP7. It's really rooted in my system it seems. As Xiao says, "the most difficult thing in life is not escaping, but living with it".
4 - Xiao suggested that perhaps it is hurtful more so because "it betrays an ideal about how human relations should work or how we want them to work, an example of human imperfection in the face of perfect idealism". It's hard for me to hold the opposing idea of OBHWF in the HP universe along with H/Hr, especially with canon being so prominent. I haven't been able to let go of the bitterness against canon yet to hold those two ideas together and enjoy character insights about Harry and Hermione in the face of OBHWF.
5 - While consciously I want to let go of the bitterness so I can enjoy things that remind me of HP and get back into HP fandom, subconsciously I need more time to blow off steam at Rowling/the rest of the world/etc. This is especially true with the last two movies out and the controversy over whether Hermione could have ended up with Harry. It's bringing back all the ship wars again and OBHWF shippers are still angry that we H/Hr can still give them a run for their money on the polls, despite the fact that they won the ship war and had canon. (They just can't get over that H/Hr's relationship will always be more fleshed out, even in friendship, than the "romance" written for OBHWF in canon). It will probably take until after the second half of HP7 comes out next (northern hemisphere) summer comes out before everyone goes back to their own corners and I can be at peace with the whole thing.
So in the meantime, I'll go back to enjoying some H/Hr fanfic and media from the movies. It's great to see harryhermione active again with fic and icon posts, and discussions! I've missed them. I think Portkey's still got something weird going on because I can't figure out how to get to my favorite fanfics except by the most convulted way (I'm pretty sure there was a way to just get to my profile...?). It'll take a little while to get familiar with everything again, but this time it will be a good homecoming.