Uni-Frown
I don’t want to brag, but I used to have the best unibrow in the state. And believe me, Georgia isn’t lacking for competition. It was full, luxurious and as soft as the fur of a puppy’s bottom. You could find pictures of me modeling in the most prestigious unibrow magazines in the world. The ladies were all over’t; everywhere I went, girls would come up to me and talk to me, and before I knew it they had their hands on it, stroking, blushing and giggling. It was by far the best thing I had going for me. Of course, you don’t get such a sweet unibrow just by letting it grow in. I mean, sure, I had the natural ability to grow a nice, full shock of hair between my two separate eyebrows, but that isn’t enough to get you recognized in Unibrow Quarterly. The only way I was able to keep it so nice was to treat it with all sorts of creams and mousses and tonics. I tell you, I was spending hundreds of dollars a year and at least 3 hours a day on it.
But now, since I started my third year, I just don’t have the time to spend grooming that luscious lock above my eyes and it was starting to become obvious. A week ago, I was inspecting it closely in the mirror of a BP station, and noticed that I had several split ends; I almost died right there. God, how embarrassing that would have been. I mean, could you imagine me being found dead on a BP station floor with an unkempt unibrow.
My heart just couldn’t take the strain or the pain of it any more; I shaved it off. We had a pretty good run while it lasted, but that third year has a way of taking away the things you love about your life. I keep telling my forehead that one day, I’ll again grow a full crop of short black hairs above my nose but I’m not sure if I believe it myself.
But now, since I started my third year, I just don’t have the time to spend grooming that luscious lock above my eyes and it was starting to become obvious. A week ago, I was inspecting it closely in the mirror of a BP station, and noticed that I had several split ends; I almost died right there. God, how embarrassing that would have been. I mean, could you imagine me being found dead on a BP station floor with an unkempt unibrow.
My heart just couldn’t take the strain or the pain of it any more; I shaved it off. We had a pretty good run while it lasted, but that third year has a way of taking away the things you love about your life. I keep telling my forehead that one day, I’ll again grow a full crop of short black hairs above my nose but I’m not sure if I believe it myself.