(no subject)
sigh. There's this writer, author person, whose work I really enjoyed reading. Some of it spoke to me very deeply, and I wanted to be friends with this person, as sort-of-friends were friends with the writer. I thought, cool. We have mutual friends and interests. This will be neat!
Nope. Got some blank looks and "okay, I'm talking to my real friend now, so nice talking with you, but we're done here," attitude. Whatever, still a great writer, I though, still have mutual interests, we'll see one another now and then at cons, and it's cool.
At the last con I attended, which was also the last place I saw my mom alive, this writer totally shut me down in a panel, when I made an on-topic comment, basically seeking to put me in my place and re-establish writer's self as the one who knows things about the topic.
I attended no more panels at that con. I've attended no other cons since then -- not because of writer, but bc reasons.
but whenever writer reappears, and says something cool, or does something nifty, for a moment I have that, "Hey, neat! Writer did a thing!" feeling, and then the thought comes back, "yup, and writer basically told you you are stupid and should shut up."
this upsets me. I don't write people off much, I cut people a lot of slack, but I still feel so damned attacked, and in front of other people, and in front of writers whose work I also really liked, and WHOSE POINTS I WAS ACTUALLY ADDRESSING.
All this predicated by seeing a post from writer in my feed. off to change that now.
Nope. Got some blank looks and "okay, I'm talking to my real friend now, so nice talking with you, but we're done here," attitude. Whatever, still a great writer, I though, still have mutual interests, we'll see one another now and then at cons, and it's cool.
At the last con I attended, which was also the last place I saw my mom alive, this writer totally shut me down in a panel, when I made an on-topic comment, basically seeking to put me in my place and re-establish writer's self as the one who knows things about the topic.
I attended no more panels at that con. I've attended no other cons since then -- not because of writer, but bc reasons.
but whenever writer reappears, and says something cool, or does something nifty, for a moment I have that, "Hey, neat! Writer did a thing!" feeling, and then the thought comes back, "yup, and writer basically told you you are stupid and should shut up."
this upsets me. I don't write people off much, I cut people a lot of slack, but I still feel so damned attacked, and in front of other people, and in front of writers whose work I also really liked, and WHOSE POINTS I WAS ACTUALLY ADDRESSING.
All this predicated by seeing a post from writer in my feed. off to change that now.