Mexican Ramen Chapter 6
Mexican Ramen
Chapter 6
The next morning found Naku coming into the kitchen, ready for coffee. Upon entering the kitchen, she screamed in horror at the fate that was about to befall her beloved Mr. Coffee.
“Toshi no!” She cried rushing over to remove the scissors from his hands. “What were you thinking?” She asked furious.
“You lied to me!” Toshiya bellowed back while lifting one arm and pointing to his pit. Sadly though his pit wasn’t as naked as the previous day, it appeared to have a slight case of nine o’clock shadow, which was surrounded by a suspicious rosy red glow.
“Um” Naku asked confused still staring at his stubby pit. “About what?”
“You said it would grow back!” He answered still pointing to his pit.
“Well,” Naku said calmly. “It is. It’s all stubby isn’t it?”
“Well, yes.” Toshiya answered solemnly. “But I wanted it all back. I even tried to glue it back on like you said, but it didn’t work. And now I have this weird rash in my pits.” Stopping he glared at Naku. “And it is all your fault!” That said he stomped from the room scratching his pit stubble.
Toshiya wondered off beginning his journey to then consult sympathy with his long time band member, Shinya. But on the way up the stairs, he paused at the sound of a violin humming a sad, yet some how mesmerizing tune. It led him to a huge with the all knowing Magical Farie Mana playing his like-wise magical instrument, by the window, with the light shinning through as if to tickle the very strings Mana controlled. Entranced, Toshiya leaned slightly on the door causing it to creak and squeak like a dry nut.
Toshiya’s face scrunched up, knowing that he couldn’t run and knowing Mana knew he was there, there was no point to even try to escape. But nothing happened. Opening his eyes he realized that not only had the music stopped, but that Mana had vanished as well.
“Nani?” Toshiya asked the vacant room. The only evidence remaining of Toshiya’s delusional dream was the maji-like instrument leaning against the wall. Shinny and sleek, it drew his attention and the next thing he knew his body was picking up the magical instrument. Curiosity taken over, Toshiya picked up the bow and attempted to play. At first the noise a nuisance to the ears, being that this wasn’t his base guitar. Minutes later though he found himself miraculously playing as well as the ghostly image of Mana did. Musically entranced, he didn’t notice the goose bumps that crawled over his skin or the effect it was having on his body.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Mana had just begun to work on his cures for those in need of his service.
“And?” Gackt asked suspiciously.
“This is suppose to help heal your hands by tonight. It’s a guarantee.” Mana said stirring a large ceramic bowl with Mexican décor. Gackt mumbled under his breath in reply.
Miyavi, who just entered the kitchen, bounced his way merrily over to the counter by Mana.
“Oy, get away from my medicine or loose that damn umbrella!” Gackt glared.
Sticking out a tongue studded up, Miyavi did his best gangly walk over to Gackt and placed the bright blue umbrella over his head. “Naze?” He asked.
Scrambling away from the bad luck, Gackt tried to keep his bandaged hands away from the unluckly shadow. Miyavi tried to pursue, but the intervening Mana stopped him with a warning of no cookies. Miyavi whimpered, but doing as Mana wished for the sake of the free hand out, he closed his umbrella and plotted his rump in the middle of the kitchen floor.
Ten minutes later, Mana had finished stirring the bowl and placed the doughy contents onto a greased sheet. Miyavi had somehow found a yo-yo and was getting the most enjoyment possible from it, while Gackt had somehow found a mirror at which he was using to check out his facial expressions, as well as the occasional rub of his own image against his skin.
After the cookies were done, Mana placed five in a bag, labeled them, then reached inside his coat pocket to pull out two other bottles. With the bag labeled for Gackt and the bottles for Toshiya, Mana gave one cookie to Miyavi.
“These are for you Gackt. Now eat one every hour and you’ll be cured,” Mana said going back to the counter.
“Are they nasty?” Gackt sniffed at the closed bag.
“They will be if you don’t wash your hands before you eat them.”
“You didn’t see me do that.” Gackt squinted suspiciously at the gothic nun. And don’t say Mana magic,” Gackt over empathized throwing his bandaged hands through the air.
“Iie. I tat-led, ta-ta-led?” Miyavi asked looking up at Mana looming some where over near the Mexican microwave for a check on his English.
“Tattled,” Mana corrected.
“Baka,” Gackt sighed. Looking at his cookies, he inspected the prescription-like writing and then turned questioning eyes to the two pill containers with similar labels on the counter. “Why two prescriptions for Toshiya? I know one are the pebbles you shoveled into capsules for him to grow his hair back, but the other one?”
An unfamiliar scream sounded down the stairs causing Gackt to fall off the chair and bang his bandaged hands on the floor. The next sound was Gackt echoing the woman’s screams.
Popping up from the floor, umbrella ready, Miyavi began to run from the kitchen towards the scream. Gackt began his pursuit only after Mana had forced one cookie down his throat. But after the war was lost, Gackt began his stumbling run up the stairs and to the library, where a woman was curled up on the floor, grabbing her chest. After pushing Miyavi, Rya, and Hyde aside, he could clearly see that the woman had beautiful black curls and clothes that looked like Toshiya’s.
What’s wrong?” Naku asked late to enter the scene.
Rya turned towards her leprecon-sized Gackt friend, not sure how to answer. “Well, um, he broke his shirt with his boobies?”
Mana, now the last person to enter the room, shook his head in disbelief as he made his way to the crying Toshiya. “Here, I figured you’d be needing these.” He offered his hand out with a second mysterious bottle of Mana magic that was in liquid form.
“Not fair,” Gackt wined. “How’d he get breasts?” Everyone ignored Gackt as Mana tried to get Toshiya to drink the medicine.
“But… but.. Manasama,” Toshiya said as he sniffed at the container that vaguely smelled of egg and cat piss. “It smells worse than Gackt’s socks.”
Sighing Mana pinched his mouth open, then clogged his nose, before using his other hand to pour the contents down his throat. Not even getting a second to breath, poor Tochi was left choking the contents down, and it was then that the room suddenly smelled like one big fart.
As everyone was beginning to gasp for breath, the empty vile came to a flying stop upside the backside of Gackt’s head. In between fighting breaths in the room, the overall sound was the voice from Mana telling Tochi to swallow the putred piss. After Toshiya swallowed the medicine Mana left he room saying as he excited, “you should be all male by the end of the month.”
“Do iu imi?” Toshiya cried out as he tried to cover himself.
Feeling some pity for the now breasted Toshiya, Gackt unwrapped his hands and began using the strips of cloth as an impromptu bra for him.
“Awe, that’s sweet of you Gackt,” Rya piped up. “But I don’t think you have to grab him so much.”
“Yea,” Naku chimed in. “Do it anymore and his head may catch on fire.”
As Gackt finished wrapping Toshiya’s new acquired anatomy, he rubbed his hands together, as if satisfied with a job well done, and exited the room.
“I have to be a woman for a whole week?” Toshiya asked resisting the urge to poke his own chesticles.
“Well,” Naku said, “It’s actually only five more days. Four if you don’t count today.”
“Yeah,” Rya added. “And you’re only part woman so it’s not that bad.”
“I know,” Toshiya cried. But I wouldn’t fit in any of my new outfits.” Strangely when he spoke his voice wandered from hi to low as if even his vocals weren’t sure of his sex. Either that or it was like puberty all over again.
“Well,” Naku said trying to come up with something. “You could always bind them to you to make them smaller.”
“But they hurt.” Toshiya then proceeded to poke his right breast for extra emphasis. “Ow. See?”
Sighing Naku turned to Rya for help, only to find Hyde, the only person still there. Apparently deeming Toshiya okay, Rya and Miyavi had run off to who knows where. Staring at Hyde in question she asked, “Where’d she go?”
Shrugging Hyde said, “Wakaranai.” Pointing towards the stairs he continued, “they said something about the stairs and Miyavi’s umbrella.”
Sighing, Naku went over to the still bawling Toshiya. Helping him up Naku led him from the room patting his back in reassurance.
Standing in the now empty room, Hyde looked down at the violin on the floor wondering if he should pick it up. Shrugging, he walked from the room without touching the violin. He didn’t feel like growing breasts. Along his way down the hall Hyde got there in time to watch Rya, umbrella in hand, standing on top of the banister.
“Are you sure this umbrella is like Mary Poppins,” Rya asked as she turned back to look at Miyavi.
“Hai.” He said it making shoving motions with his hands. “Jump. You fly”
Taking him at his word, Rya jumped from the banister and quickly disappeared from sight.
Hyde, expecting to hear a loud crunch, was shocked to hear, well, nothing. Racing to the banister he looked over, only to find Rya lying on top of a large pile of … dirty laundry?
Rya pulled herself from the pile and removed a sock from her head. Pouting, she looked up at Miyavi. “You lied! I didn’t fly!”
“Hai,” he nodded at her. “You fly!” Coming down the stairs he took the umbrella from her hand and went in search of Mana. Running as fast as he could through the house without tripping over anything, he finally found Mana in the one place he, or anyone else, wasn’t allowed to be in; Mana’s room. There was no knocking at the door or a stupid introduction needed for Miyavi. Who could resist a handsome man suddenly barging in your room to pester you with questions. As long as he didn’t ask the wrong questions, he just be able to avoid Mana cursing him to live the rest of his days with an effect similar or opposite to Toshiya’s. He didn’t want Mana to shrink anything… worse than it was already.
“Mana-sama! Oye man!” He entered the room twirling his nifty umbrella as he said it. He took one look at Mana as he looked at him, and then followed his gaze down to the pink ducks that were walking around with sparklers attached to butts? He felt his jaw go slack. Next thought, ‘I wanna sparkler!’ Running to catch the sparkler for his own joy, he chased down one of the ducks, unable to hear Mana’s warning cry.
Lying on the floor the two Japanese men were finally starting to awaken.
“Ow. What happened? Last thing I remember was a stream of pink ducks with sparklers attached to their asses. Was that all a dream?” Miyavi asked Mana in Japanese.
“No. Strangely enough I can confirm it was not a dream,” Mana said slowly getting t his feet.
“Oh, okay. Then what was up with you in the bathroom with your thing all hanging out?”
Twitching his eyebrow, eyes closed, Mana sighed. “No, that part was a dream.”
“Good, because I was going to recommend a really good doctor that could fix that...” Miyavi continued half to himself.
“I repeat, it was just a dream.”
“…There maybe some scarring though cause even though he’s good, nobody is that good...” Miyavi started to sit up.
“Miyavi, please, I’m fine. Plus if you continue to carry on with this conversation, I’ll be forced to curse you with whatever demented disease your brain concocted on the parts that we’re not suppose to talk about.”
Miyavi’s face was solemn in thought for a second. “The ‘parts’ being your thing hanging all out?”
Clearing his throat, Mana turned his head away from Miyavi. “May I suggest fleeing from my room as fast as possible?” He asked nicely with an edge of cold stone to his voice.
Miyavi could be heard getting up from the floor, his long baggy clothes unwrinkling themselves as he got to his feet. “Jeeze… I don’t know what the big deal is.” Walking out from the room Mana still heard him as he walked away. “I mean, Gackt practically puts his on showcase… Come talk about it, help decorate it, rub it for good luck, take a picture with it for a dollar…”
On to Chapter 7
To be continued. (As much as you hate us right now, save it for our x-friend Amai who thinks that you get whatever you deserve, when you go out drinking (with friends). If someone slipped vodka ice in your drink, it’s your fault! You should have all ice cubes tested before using them in your drink, alcohol will make you the devil’s slave, getting raped is your fault, and agreeing with everyone and everything is the only way to get accepted in life.)