all farewells are sudden
rabbitt,
I place a high price on my memories.
I try so hard to hold onto things.
That's the contradiction isn't it?
When you try to hold on, things are intentionally ripped from you.
You tell me:
"So many things really are out of your control...stop struggling."
Still, I can't bring myself to hold on too lightly--
Everything Changes.
Things are only going to get harder, right?
I wouldn't say I'm the biggest supporter of growing up...
certainly we've had our disagreements.
"Someday, these days, too, will be gone. only memories..."
We truly do live holding onto our feelings.
The air outside has shifted.
It smells like leaves and straw and apples.
I wonder if autumn is coming early this year.
Come here, old friend, let me whisper to you of how I've longed for your cool touch.
How I've missed your soft caress of my hair and cheek.
The chilled kiss before the bite of winter.
I want to see your bursts of color.
Feel your long embrace.
Taste your bitter rain.
I will try not to get my hopes up.
I don't want to be left behind.
I don't want to forget.
I want to keep more than just some remembrance...
More than some distant, yet overwhelming feeling.
Some days it all seems like too much.
How we float thru life like fallen leaves...
At the mercy of the changing winds.
Beat down by the rains,
resting atop fresh snow,
clinging to the tree,
plucked by the hand of another...
how do you stand it, rabbitt?
this rampant running chance?
how do you stand the swirling activity?
how do you not mourn these disappearances?
where will we end up?
do you know the plans of the universe?
are you hiding some glimpse of the future,
while i mourn the loss of every single childhood?
and the most carefree of days...
and the annhilation of innocence.
I know what you are thinking.
someday, i will drown in this nostalgia.
Please tell me rabbitt, how can i not think everything, even the small things are not important?
"Beginnings come at random, but Endings always have meaning"
We have already lost so many things.
Even things we Loved.
The End is coming isn't it?
One more chapter to close into memory.
I come to Preservation just a little too late.
What am i going to do without you?
where is the strength that comes with being alone?
love,
mienai
"heavenly shades of night are falling..."