Update: Second Skin
So, following up this entry, I got filmed for the MMO documentary, Monday. Even though they thought I was in NYC, lol
Buffalo?! How funny, I took it for granted you were in NYC! Ah well, sounds like we have a fun road trip ahead of us! We'll be there Monday June 11th at 2pm. It'll be a good excuse to get some fresh air!
It was very cool. They were all awesome people. They pretty much filmed everything. We hung out and I showed them some of my AMVs, recommended some anime, showed them Gackt (turns out they all like J-Music, so of course, I mentioned music_and_more XD), showed them a web-comic (MacHal, which they all lovedl), and of course, talked about MMOs.
I was gonna "restart" MapleStory (My PIN wouldn't work), but somehow I got away with showing them Gaia Online. They were surprised by how much the admins thought of. The economy, Towns, the stores, Cinema.
One guy said "[Gaia] is almost like a MMO forming out of a message board." I showed them the number of users, and go to Big-Boards.com and show them Gaia is #1. Then, they asked if there were servers/how many there are. So I pull up an old (2004) interview that Lanzer (one of the founders/admins of Gaia) did for Big-Boards.
Then, we basically hung out more, and did our little interview. They also filmed me in Towns.
1. Who is your avatar online?
I have many, but my main one is by far my favorite.
2. What is their name, race, class? Why did you choose that name, race, class.
His name is Mienai Kitsune, which translated from Japanese means Invisible Fox. He is a Arch-Demon, and a Warrior. I chose that name, because it's been my pen name for a while. He's a warrior because I've always been partial to that class. His race was pretty easy for me to choose, as I've been interested in Demonology, for years.
3. What is your name?
My name is Andrew Monkelban
4. Tell us how MMOs affected your life.
Before I started playing MMOs, I used to be quiet and keep to myself because I'm so "different" from other people. But, playing let me drop my guard and open up to others.
5. Give us your history with MMOs/MUDs- how you got into them, etc…
I started playing MMOs from standard text-based message board RPGs. First of which was entitled the Wild Tiger Tavern. When I last checked before it was deleted, there were 35 people roleplaying. After it was deleted, about a dozen of us moved on to bigger and better things, leading me to MMOs.
6. Can you explain how these games affected you specifically?
This is going to sound corny, but MMOs have made me a better person. I've learned loyalty, the meaning of friendship, sensitivity... What it truly means to be strong.
7. Do you think the positive aspects of MMOs outweigh the negative ones?
Yes, infinitely. MMOs enable us to do things we couldn't do otherwise.
8. How do MMOs affect the disabled, or those who are stuck in their homes?
They let us have "lives" of our own. Although they're virtual, they're still our lives, nonetheless.
9. Tell us about your avatar.
I've been continuing to evolve him for several years. This is my self-written biography:
Name: Mienai Kitsune
Eyes: Deep crimson
Hair: Raven black
H/W: 5'8/145 lbs
Age: 23 years
General Appearance: A fairly well-built young man. Has long straight raven hair, part of which hangs over his right eye. Usually wears a long black robe with an oversized hood, which is generally up. Wears sunglasses to conceal his crimson eyes. Although he has been known to wear classy clothes at times, he prefers a more casual style.
Other Info: Has a tattoo of an inverted cross going down his right eye, and a barcode on the back of his neck. He is a proverbial coin -- while gentle on one side, he is ruthless on the other. His attitude is "live and let live", but not where honor and trust are concerned.
Background: Created using DNA believed to be that of Yama, Hatsur, and Azazel. During "Phase 2," a year after Subject 01's completion, Subject 02, later given the name "Mienai Kitsune," translated from Japanese as "Invisible Fox," was created for 2 purposes: 1) To blend into humanity, and 2) for stealth. He excelled in both, a little too well. During test runs, he was always escaping from the lab and going into cities. Each time, it became harder for him to be located, as he had learned to blend into humanity more efficiently with each escape. When he turned 17, he escaped again; this time however, it was for good.
It was shortly after, that he met Ravox Bishamon. The 2 became friends, and with others, they created the Dark Church. Two years later, by chance, he met up with Subject 01, through Ravox. Soon after, Subjects 01 and 02 enjoyed a relationship, the effects of which would last for a long time. That all came to an end, however, 2 years later. The specifics of what happened for their relationship to come to a halt are unknown. Somehow, Subject 02 was able to overcome the security measure that was built into his design -- that if the 2 of them ever grew close, and then split; he would lose control and destroy both Subject 01 and himself. Perhaps, it was that he had so much respect for Subject 01 that he refused to let the security measure take effect. But, he knew he couldn't keep resisting, forever, so he left the place he had called home for the past 2 years. The last words he spoke before he walked out the door were "Out of sight, out of mind..."
He now returns to the Dark Church, more focused than ever, and with the knowledge he received from his time with Subject 01.
Weapons: A double-bladed scythe, a wakizashi, a katana, and several kunai.
Elemental and magic abilities: Has control over fire, lightning, and shadows. Favors the shadows more than fire and lightning, and his abilities show it. He has almost flawless control over shadows, with his prowess with fire close behind, and lightning being his weakest ability.
10. Tell me about the most interesting things you've done or been a part of in an MMO.
The most interesting thing I've been a part of in an MMO would be wars. In its hay-day, one of the guilds I'm in, caused a number of wars. In retrospect, it was interesting to see how others played.
11. How did these experiences affect you?
They enabled me to adapt to different situations, somewhat easily.
12. Tell us about your online romantic relationships.
I've had many online relationships. Too many, if you ask me. But, only a couple of them came about in MMOs.
13. How did these relationships start, did you ever meet them in real life, and how long did these relationships last? Any funny/interesting stories about any of these relationships?
The first one isn't a relationship, per se. It's more like a much-much-more-than-friendship, if that even makes sense. It started 4 years ago because, the young woman and I were talking before one person started degrading her verbally. I was able to stop that person, and that relationship started soon after. Then events happened in her "real life" that made our bond even stronger. Although we've yet to meet in real life, our bond is still as strong as ever.
The second one came about from one of the wars that I mentioned before. She was the leader of an allied guild of ours, and a very skilled leader at that. It took several months for me to approach her, but after I did, our characters were very close and "two of a kind" you could say. We met in real life, twice, and the relationship lasted for about 15 months. It was so hard to get over her that I had to take a break for a couple months.
14. How did your experience with them change the way you play MMOs?
The first one brought out the protective side in me. The second one helped to structure my character further. I added a back-story that went along with her character's. She was an Arch-Angel, and I was an Arch-Demon, and we came from the same place.
15. Do you think most people should roleplay only, or have the freedom to play themselves?
I think most people should have the freedom to do both - play themselves and roleplay. You can't always create a fictional character without basing some of it on truth.
16. Do you feel the need to tell people online that you're disabled? Do you feel that it's a secret?
That differs with the MMO. If the other players and going too fast, then yes, I feel the need to tell them. But, if I can keep up, then I keep it a secret.
17. Do you feel as close to your online friends as you do your 'real life' friends?
Yes.In fact, most of the time, I feel even closer to my online friends.
18. One of our disabled interviewees said the following- do you agree, and why? "My great joy in playing MMOs is giving to the community. Often, being disabled, I feel like I cannot give back to the community, only take from it. MMOs give me a platform where I can give back."
I do agree. MMOs are one way we can show the community that we are like any other person, and to give back to it.
19. Do you feel like you have more responsibilities in an MMO than in real life?
Definitely. Playing MMOs is like... community service, in that I'm able to give back to the community, and I take great pride and enjoyment in it.
20. One of our disabled interviewees insists that playing a superhero is the best kind of avatar for a disabled person. Do you agree?
The term "superhero" makes me cringe, but yeah, I agree, in a way. Mienai is more of an anti-hero, but me using his abilities makes me feel free from my wheelchair. However, I believe there are 2 kinds of avatars best for a disabled person - superheroes, and warriors. I mean, just doing the normal things that I can't do (ie: walking, climbing, etc) makes me feel free.
21. Have you ever been in a guild, or a guild leader?
Both, actually. Two years ago, I was made the guild leader of The Dark Church, of which I'd been a member for 5 years.
22. Do you think you would get preference in a game being disabled? Does that affect your decision to tell people in-game?
I would hope I wouldn't get preference. Just because I'm disabled does not give me the right to get preference. I'm just like everyone else in MMOs. So, in a way, it does affect my decision.
23. If your character "died", and you couldn't restart the MMO or resurrect your avatar, how would you feel?
That's happened to a few of my other avatars, so it wouldn't really affect me all that much. I'd just create a new avatar.
24. When does an MMO end? What is the point of playing one then?
An MMO ends when you run out of ideas for what to do. But, I believe the point of playing MMOs isn't to play a game, but to build character and create new and hopefully long-lasting friendships.
25. How many MMO's have you played? Why would you leave one and move on to another? How difficult is it to leave the character you created behind?
I've lost count of how many MMOs I've played, but I'd say about 5 or 6. I'd left and moved on to other MMO, because the storylines weren't going anywhere. Depending on the location (ie: how far along you are in the story) it's hard to leave the character.
26. How similar are you to your avatar?
I'm very similar to my avatar. We're both very silent and at times, distant, until you get to know us. But when needed, we're hardassed and we stand up for what we believe in.
27. How many hours do you play? Day, Week, Month, Year?
Well, I play considerably less nowadays, but I'd say about 20 hours a week.
28. Do you ever feel that playing these games is work? Does it often feel more like work and less like play?
Well, not work. Like I said earlier, it's more like fun community service. But yeah, sometimes it does feel less like play. Especially when you have s time limit.
29. Are MMO's inherently addictive?
Yes, the first day I started playing, I played for 8 hours straight, and it kept up like that for a year and a half.
30. Is there a lot of pressure in-game from peers to continue gaming? Even when you should probably be doing other things?
You mean, like eating? *Laughs* Well, I wouldn't say the pressure is from peers, but from yourself. Once you really get into the virtual world, it's like the "real" world vanishes all together.
31. Is your time online more satisfying or fulfilling than your daily life? Would you consider yourself more a resident of the virtual world than real life?
I would definitely consider myself a resident of the virtual world. I feel my time online is much more satisfying. I can share my interests with people around the work, and make and keep in touch with friends.
32. Where do you see MMOs in five years and then in fifteen years?
In five years, I see MMOs having even more depth and sense of companionship. In fifteen years, I see them using virtual reality to play, forget the keyboard and mouse.
33. Tell us about the PS2 controller you're designing.
Ah, yes. Along with other people, I'm designing a PlayStation 2 controller that can be used, one-handed in a chair. We're still working on it, but it will be shorter than normal, with foot pedals controlling the 4 shoulder/trigger buttons. I've also designed a wristband for Nintendo DS Lite, especially for one-handed gamers. It straps onto your wrist so you don't always have to pull up to a table to play, and you can play on the bus, in the van, etc.
I even got blogged about. Twice. Here, and here
Buffalo?! How funny, I took it for granted you were in NYC! Ah well, sounds like we have a fun road trip ahead of us! We'll be there Monday June 11th at 2pm. It'll be a good excuse to get some fresh air!
It was very cool. They were all awesome people. They pretty much filmed everything. We hung out and I showed them some of my AMVs, recommended some anime, showed them Gackt (turns out they all like J-Music, so of course, I mentioned music_and_more XD), showed them a web-comic (MacHal, which they all lovedl), and of course, talked about MMOs.
I was gonna "restart" MapleStory (My PIN wouldn't work), but somehow I got away with showing them Gaia Online. They were surprised by how much the admins thought of. The economy, Towns, the stores, Cinema.
One guy said "[Gaia] is almost like a MMO forming out of a message board." I showed them the number of users, and go to Big-Boards.com and show them Gaia is #1. Then, they asked if there were servers/how many there are. So I pull up an old (2004) interview that Lanzer (one of the founders/admins of Gaia) did for Big-Boards.
Then, we basically hung out more, and did our little interview. They also filmed me in Towns.
1. Who is your avatar online?
I have many, but my main one is by far my favorite.
2. What is their name, race, class? Why did you choose that name, race, class.
His name is Mienai Kitsune, which translated from Japanese means Invisible Fox. He is a Arch-Demon, and a Warrior. I chose that name, because it's been my pen name for a while. He's a warrior because I've always been partial to that class. His race was pretty easy for me to choose, as I've been interested in Demonology, for years.
3. What is your name?
My name is Andrew Monkelban
4. Tell us how MMOs affected your life.
Before I started playing MMOs, I used to be quiet and keep to myself because I'm so "different" from other people. But, playing let me drop my guard and open up to others.
5. Give us your history with MMOs/MUDs- how you got into them, etc…
I started playing MMOs from standard text-based message board RPGs. First of which was entitled the Wild Tiger Tavern. When I last checked before it was deleted, there were 35 people roleplaying. After it was deleted, about a dozen of us moved on to bigger and better things, leading me to MMOs.
6. Can you explain how these games affected you specifically?
This is going to sound corny, but MMOs have made me a better person. I've learned loyalty, the meaning of friendship, sensitivity... What it truly means to be strong.
7. Do you think the positive aspects of MMOs outweigh the negative ones?
Yes, infinitely. MMOs enable us to do things we couldn't do otherwise.
8. How do MMOs affect the disabled, or those who are stuck in their homes?
They let us have "lives" of our own. Although they're virtual, they're still our lives, nonetheless.
9. Tell us about your avatar.
I've been continuing to evolve him for several years. This is my self-written biography:
Name: Mienai Kitsune
Eyes: Deep crimson
Hair: Raven black
H/W: 5'8/145 lbs
Age: 23 years
General Appearance: A fairly well-built young man. Has long straight raven hair, part of which hangs over his right eye. Usually wears a long black robe with an oversized hood, which is generally up. Wears sunglasses to conceal his crimson eyes. Although he has been known to wear classy clothes at times, he prefers a more casual style.
Other Info: Has a tattoo of an inverted cross going down his right eye, and a barcode on the back of his neck. He is a proverbial coin -- while gentle on one side, he is ruthless on the other. His attitude is "live and let live", but not where honor and trust are concerned.
Background: Created using DNA believed to be that of Yama, Hatsur, and Azazel. During "Phase 2," a year after Subject 01's completion, Subject 02, later given the name "Mienai Kitsune," translated from Japanese as "Invisible Fox," was created for 2 purposes: 1) To blend into humanity, and 2) for stealth. He excelled in both, a little too well. During test runs, he was always escaping from the lab and going into cities. Each time, it became harder for him to be located, as he had learned to blend into humanity more efficiently with each escape. When he turned 17, he escaped again; this time however, it was for good.
It was shortly after, that he met Ravox Bishamon. The 2 became friends, and with others, they created the Dark Church. Two years later, by chance, he met up with Subject 01, through Ravox. Soon after, Subjects 01 and 02 enjoyed a relationship, the effects of which would last for a long time. That all came to an end, however, 2 years later. The specifics of what happened for their relationship to come to a halt are unknown. Somehow, Subject 02 was able to overcome the security measure that was built into his design -- that if the 2 of them ever grew close, and then split; he would lose control and destroy both Subject 01 and himself. Perhaps, it was that he had so much respect for Subject 01 that he refused to let the security measure take effect. But, he knew he couldn't keep resisting, forever, so he left the place he had called home for the past 2 years. The last words he spoke before he walked out the door were "Out of sight, out of mind..."
He now returns to the Dark Church, more focused than ever, and with the knowledge he received from his time with Subject 01.
Weapons: A double-bladed scythe, a wakizashi, a katana, and several kunai.
Elemental and magic abilities: Has control over fire, lightning, and shadows. Favors the shadows more than fire and lightning, and his abilities show it. He has almost flawless control over shadows, with his prowess with fire close behind, and lightning being his weakest ability.
10. Tell me about the most interesting things you've done or been a part of in an MMO.
The most interesting thing I've been a part of in an MMO would be wars. In its hay-day, one of the guilds I'm in, caused a number of wars. In retrospect, it was interesting to see how others played.
11. How did these experiences affect you?
They enabled me to adapt to different situations, somewhat easily.
12. Tell us about your online romantic relationships.
I've had many online relationships. Too many, if you ask me. But, only a couple of them came about in MMOs.
13. How did these relationships start, did you ever meet them in real life, and how long did these relationships last? Any funny/interesting stories about any of these relationships?
The first one isn't a relationship, per se. It's more like a much-much-more-than-friendship, if that even makes sense. It started 4 years ago because, the young woman and I were talking before one person started degrading her verbally. I was able to stop that person, and that relationship started soon after. Then events happened in her "real life" that made our bond even stronger. Although we've yet to meet in real life, our bond is still as strong as ever.
The second one came about from one of the wars that I mentioned before. She was the leader of an allied guild of ours, and a very skilled leader at that. It took several months for me to approach her, but after I did, our characters were very close and "two of a kind" you could say. We met in real life, twice, and the relationship lasted for about 15 months. It was so hard to get over her that I had to take a break for a couple months.
14. How did your experience with them change the way you play MMOs?
The first one brought out the protective side in me. The second one helped to structure my character further. I added a back-story that went along with her character's. She was an Arch-Angel, and I was an Arch-Demon, and we came from the same place.
15. Do you think most people should roleplay only, or have the freedom to play themselves?
I think most people should have the freedom to do both - play themselves and roleplay. You can't always create a fictional character without basing some of it on truth.
16. Do you feel the need to tell people online that you're disabled? Do you feel that it's a secret?
That differs with the MMO. If the other players and going too fast, then yes, I feel the need to tell them. But, if I can keep up, then I keep it a secret.
17. Do you feel as close to your online friends as you do your 'real life' friends?
Yes.In fact, most of the time, I feel even closer to my online friends.
18. One of our disabled interviewees said the following- do you agree, and why? "My great joy in playing MMOs is giving to the community. Often, being disabled, I feel like I cannot give back to the community, only take from it. MMOs give me a platform where I can give back."
I do agree. MMOs are one way we can show the community that we are like any other person, and to give back to it.
19. Do you feel like you have more responsibilities in an MMO than in real life?
Definitely. Playing MMOs is like... community service, in that I'm able to give back to the community, and I take great pride and enjoyment in it.
20. One of our disabled interviewees insists that playing a superhero is the best kind of avatar for a disabled person. Do you agree?
The term "superhero" makes me cringe, but yeah, I agree, in a way. Mienai is more of an anti-hero, but me using his abilities makes me feel free from my wheelchair. However, I believe there are 2 kinds of avatars best for a disabled person - superheroes, and warriors. I mean, just doing the normal things that I can't do (ie: walking, climbing, etc) makes me feel free.
21. Have you ever been in a guild, or a guild leader?
Both, actually. Two years ago, I was made the guild leader of The Dark Church, of which I'd been a member for 5 years.
22. Do you think you would get preference in a game being disabled? Does that affect your decision to tell people in-game?
I would hope I wouldn't get preference. Just because I'm disabled does not give me the right to get preference. I'm just like everyone else in MMOs. So, in a way, it does affect my decision.
23. If your character "died", and you couldn't restart the MMO or resurrect your avatar, how would you feel?
That's happened to a few of my other avatars, so it wouldn't really affect me all that much. I'd just create a new avatar.
24. When does an MMO end? What is the point of playing one then?
An MMO ends when you run out of ideas for what to do. But, I believe the point of playing MMOs isn't to play a game, but to build character and create new and hopefully long-lasting friendships.
25. How many MMO's have you played? Why would you leave one and move on to another? How difficult is it to leave the character you created behind?
I've lost count of how many MMOs I've played, but I'd say about 5 or 6. I'd left and moved on to other MMO, because the storylines weren't going anywhere. Depending on the location (ie: how far along you are in the story) it's hard to leave the character.
26. How similar are you to your avatar?
I'm very similar to my avatar. We're both very silent and at times, distant, until you get to know us. But when needed, we're hardassed and we stand up for what we believe in.
27. How many hours do you play? Day, Week, Month, Year?
Well, I play considerably less nowadays, but I'd say about 20 hours a week.
28. Do you ever feel that playing these games is work? Does it often feel more like work and less like play?
Well, not work. Like I said earlier, it's more like fun community service. But yeah, sometimes it does feel less like play. Especially when you have s time limit.
29. Are MMO's inherently addictive?
Yes, the first day I started playing, I played for 8 hours straight, and it kept up like that for a year and a half.
30. Is there a lot of pressure in-game from peers to continue gaming? Even when you should probably be doing other things?
You mean, like eating? *Laughs* Well, I wouldn't say the pressure is from peers, but from yourself. Once you really get into the virtual world, it's like the "real" world vanishes all together.
31. Is your time online more satisfying or fulfilling than your daily life? Would you consider yourself more a resident of the virtual world than real life?
I would definitely consider myself a resident of the virtual world. I feel my time online is much more satisfying. I can share my interests with people around the work, and make and keep in touch with friends.
32. Where do you see MMOs in five years and then in fifteen years?
In five years, I see MMOs having even more depth and sense of companionship. In fifteen years, I see them using virtual reality to play, forget the keyboard and mouse.
33. Tell us about the PS2 controller you're designing.
Ah, yes. Along with other people, I'm designing a PlayStation 2 controller that can be used, one-handed in a chair. We're still working on it, but it will be shorter than normal, with foot pedals controlling the 4 shoulder/trigger buttons. I've also designed a wristband for Nintendo DS Lite, especially for one-handed gamers. It straps onto your wrist so you don't always have to pull up to a table to play, and you can play on the bus, in the van, etc.
I even got blogged about. Twice. Here, and here