Syncope And Anxiety
So, today I was on my way to work and I felt like shit. I had gotten into a fight with my best friend, who is now living with us and I just felt awful.
I did the opposite of let it go and let it in.
All I can remember was walking through an aisle in the store and then boom. I'm out.
Passed out on the tiled floor of Winn Dixie.
They told me I had been out for minutes. The paramedics checked everything. My sugar, heart rate.. They thought I had damaged my neck or head so they put.. Bleh.. One of those things on my head to keep it straight.
Asked me at the hospital if I had any pain. Yeah.. With this neck brace around my head, scratching against my head. I had a lot of pain.
While in the ambulance, the had to get a IV in me. Couldn't find my vein. Took them forever. And I was so paranoid about the pain the only way I kept my arm was up and straight. I kept thinking the more I bent my arm the more pain would come from the IV.
Of course, that is wrong. I bent my arm many times while I was in there and there was no pain.
They poked me more times than I have ever been poked. In my hand, my arm, my other arm and my finger. Twice in my finger. ;____;
I don't mind needles, but I don't like them poking me several times to find a vein. ._______.;
We got some cat scans done on my neck and head. On my abdomen too. Those came back normal. My blood work came back normal.
It took us forever to get discharged. They kept forgetting about us. My dad had got off work from the cape to come see me. I took five years off my mother's life.
Then, when we finally got home, Cami called from school.
It made me so happy that she called to see how I was doing. That made me feel so much better. <3
Her and I had fighted earlier this morning about something that had been going on for a few days now.
Her and I were both being assholes. She was in a bad mood, I was in a bad mood.
I didn't do much this afternoon. I was just thinking about Cami and I fighting and about going to see Dr Andrews tomorrow.
I see my psychiatrist tomorrow. To tell her about my lactating and my weight gain. We all know it is because of my anti-psychotic. I just want a different medicine.
I also go to the eye doctor tomorrow. I am so excited about getting my new glasses! :]
When we were at the store, mom and I, we bought Cami some sushi because I know she hadn't been feeling like herself from her and I fighting and getting towards the end of school. D; Mom had told her in the car. I wanted it to be a visual surprise. ;_______;
We had tried to find out if Cami had a way home from school today. She called us from school and we went and picked her up. Mom had asked me in the car how she sounded on the phone. I told her that she sounded pretty depressed.
On the way up there we were talking about Cami and myself.
When we got to the school, we picked her up and mom had said a few things to her in the car. She gave no response and you could tell she looked miserable. Sad. So, mom finally asked what was wrong and she didn't really tell us at first.
She looked like she was about to cry.
She had failed her math test and was just in tears about it. Well.. almost in tears.
I felt so bad.. She has a math exam she has to take. Which is the only one I believe she has to take. That being her weakness, she is afraid she might not pass high school and go to college because of ONE class.
That being said, I do not think that will happen. She has worked too hard for this and something so small will not mess this up.
I believe she can do it and I love her. I KNOW she can do this. She's so smart.
She has an award ceremony she was invited to on Thursday at 6pm. So, we are all going to go and see all the great rewards she is going to get. Awards... Sorry. Not rewards. ._________.;
I saw my therapist yesterday. We talked about my high cholesterol. How Cami and I had been kind of fighting lately.
I always count on her to make things right.
We also talked about Cami going away to college.. again.
It will never be an old subject.
She kept telling me just because Cami is going away does not mean the friendship is ending.
She's right. It's just going to be hard for me to not see her face to face.
Oh yes. I mentioned my high cholesterol. That's a new excitement. D;
Yep. I have high cholesterol. I knew something like that was coming.
I have to lose weight and eat right or else they are going to put me on pills.
How sad is that? I am eight teen years old and I have high cholesterol.
At least the weight loss will boost my self esteem.
In middle school and beginning of high school, I wore a size nine pants.
I now wear a size like.. 15!
That is sooooo gross. xDD
Also.. Gay men on Gaia + Anna = Hate.
I swear gay men and I are not meant to be at all friendly.
xDD
I cleaned out my Youtube favorites. I just left what I mostly listen to right now.
I love Mika's song "Love Today". When Cami first had me listen to it I was like "Gay Gay Gay." and now I am like "Everybody's gonna love today love today!!"
xDD -is actually a flaming homo-
I dyed my hair this dark red/pink color. It was suppose to be an orange/red. Buuuut.. It turned out like this. I will have to post a picture of it later. You would die. People at work were teasing me. .__________.;
Speaking of work.. Everyone is really nice there. Except for Lisa. D:<
She's mean and young. Damn young people. -shakes fist in anger-
Important thing is: I am going to do some classes online this summer and then go to school this fall as a senior. =D
I will finally have my name on the senior shirt! ajdnassjfdk! xDD
That excites me very much.
I think I got everything I wanted to say down..
.....
Thanks for reading.
~Anna
I did the opposite of let it go and let it in.
All I can remember was walking through an aisle in the store and then boom. I'm out.
Passed out on the tiled floor of Winn Dixie.
They told me I had been out for minutes. The paramedics checked everything. My sugar, heart rate.. They thought I had damaged my neck or head so they put.. Bleh.. One of those things on my head to keep it straight.
Asked me at the hospital if I had any pain. Yeah.. With this neck brace around my head, scratching against my head. I had a lot of pain.
While in the ambulance, the had to get a IV in me. Couldn't find my vein. Took them forever. And I was so paranoid about the pain the only way I kept my arm was up and straight. I kept thinking the more I bent my arm the more pain would come from the IV.
Of course, that is wrong. I bent my arm many times while I was in there and there was no pain.
They poked me more times than I have ever been poked. In my hand, my arm, my other arm and my finger. Twice in my finger. ;____;
I don't mind needles, but I don't like them poking me several times to find a vein. ._______.;
We got some cat scans done on my neck and head. On my abdomen too. Those came back normal. My blood work came back normal.
It took us forever to get discharged. They kept forgetting about us. My dad had got off work from the cape to come see me. I took five years off my mother's life.
Then, when we finally got home, Cami called from school.
It made me so happy that she called to see how I was doing. That made me feel so much better. <3
Her and I had fighted earlier this morning about something that had been going on for a few days now.
Her and I were both being assholes. She was in a bad mood, I was in a bad mood.
I didn't do much this afternoon. I was just thinking about Cami and I fighting and about going to see Dr Andrews tomorrow.
I see my psychiatrist tomorrow. To tell her about my lactating and my weight gain. We all know it is because of my anti-psychotic. I just want a different medicine.
I also go to the eye doctor tomorrow. I am so excited about getting my new glasses! :]
When we were at the store, mom and I, we bought Cami some sushi because I know she hadn't been feeling like herself from her and I fighting and getting towards the end of school. D; Mom had told her in the car. I wanted it to be a visual surprise. ;_______;
We had tried to find out if Cami had a way home from school today. She called us from school and we went and picked her up. Mom had asked me in the car how she sounded on the phone. I told her that she sounded pretty depressed.
On the way up there we were talking about Cami and myself.
When we got to the school, we picked her up and mom had said a few things to her in the car. She gave no response and you could tell she looked miserable. Sad. So, mom finally asked what was wrong and she didn't really tell us at first.
She looked like she was about to cry.
She had failed her math test and was just in tears about it. Well.. almost in tears.
I felt so bad.. She has a math exam she has to take. Which is the only one I believe she has to take. That being her weakness, she is afraid she might not pass high school and go to college because of ONE class.
That being said, I do not think that will happen. She has worked too hard for this and something so small will not mess this up.
I believe she can do it and I love her. I KNOW she can do this. She's so smart.
She has an award ceremony she was invited to on Thursday at 6pm. So, we are all going to go and see all the great rewards she is going to get. Awards... Sorry. Not rewards. ._________.;
I saw my therapist yesterday. We talked about my high cholesterol. How Cami and I had been kind of fighting lately.
I always count on her to make things right.
We also talked about Cami going away to college.. again.
It will never be an old subject.
She kept telling me just because Cami is going away does not mean the friendship is ending.
She's right. It's just going to be hard for me to not see her face to face.
Oh yes. I mentioned my high cholesterol. That's a new excitement. D;
Yep. I have high cholesterol. I knew something like that was coming.
I have to lose weight and eat right or else they are going to put me on pills.
How sad is that? I am eight teen years old and I have high cholesterol.
At least the weight loss will boost my self esteem.
In middle school and beginning of high school, I wore a size nine pants.
I now wear a size like.. 15!
That is sooooo gross. xDD
Also.. Gay men on Gaia + Anna = Hate.
I swear gay men and I are not meant to be at all friendly.
xDD
I cleaned out my Youtube favorites. I just left what I mostly listen to right now.
I love Mika's song "Love Today". When Cami first had me listen to it I was like "Gay Gay Gay." and now I am like "Everybody's gonna love today love today!!"
xDD -is actually a flaming homo-
I dyed my hair this dark red/pink color. It was suppose to be an orange/red. Buuuut.. It turned out like this. I will have to post a picture of it later. You would die. People at work were teasing me. .__________.;
Speaking of work.. Everyone is really nice there. Except for Lisa. D:<
She's mean and young. Damn young people. -shakes fist in anger-
Important thing is: I am going to do some classes online this summer and then go to school this fall as a senior. =D
I will finally have my name on the senior shirt! ajdnassjfdk! xDD
That excites me very much.
I think I got everything I wanted to say down..
.....
Thanks for reading.
~Anna