Reality Check
Good evening. Time to write about what made me pissed off and what made me happy today. I will start with my latest bit of news. Cami. She's my best friend and the greatest person on this planet. Don't even try to argue with me. Nope. You have no idea how much she does for other people. She works her ass off through the whole Summer break and then gets bitched at for it. She is in three AP classes next year and yet her grandfather continues to tell her that she is not normal. She's been through so much fucking shit and that asshole has the nerve to turn around and say she is depressed and that she isn't a normal teenager! Her mother is dead. Her father doesn't even live in the same state. She lives with her damn grandparents and not once have I heard her complain. She is the most tolerant person I know. She puts up with everyone's bullshit. It just pisses me off that people have the balls to say that she needs a part-time job. Her grandmother won't pay for her to get her liscense. Oh? Her grandfather tells her to walk? Now that is fucking bullshit! If I had a damn car..If I wasn't so fucking irresponsible and lazy I could be helping her out right now like she does for me. I could drive her to work everyday. It's sad that she could better herself with the help of me but my sorry ass is sitting her without a permit at the age sixteen. I sit here sometimes and wonder why me while tons of people are working their asses off without any complaints or pity. I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people who sits on their ass and does nothing. Now look at me. I spend my Summer break at home cleaning and doing nothing all day. I would hate to see myself in 10-15 years trying to run a family. What a laugh that will be. I wanted so badly to become a psychologist for so long. I thought maybe I could make a difference in other people's lives. I soon gave that up. I don't see myself being as knowledgeable about psychology as Cami or Shan. I can't even cheer anyone up when they are upset! What good am I? So I considered becoming an professor at a university. Maybe teach English since I am so good at it. I don't know anymore. I am not asking for anyone's sympathy. Oh no. I definetely don't want that. I sit here and look at my life and think 'It's not so bad here..'. It's not. I have a pretty decent life. I've gotten two new cell phones in the last 2 months. I'm a spoiled little brat. I am not selfish though. I clean this house from top to bottom while my 15 year old brother sits on his ass playing video games all day. Why do I clean the house? I don't even get a reward for it. I just want to see my parents smile and tell me that I am a good girl. Is that so wrong? It's nice to hear people tell you that you are doing well or to keep up the good work. It makes you feel better. Hell, it even raises your self-esteem. And being someone like me with low self-esteem and almost zero self confidence. Those compliments can go a long way. Trust me. What I am trying to say is why are the good people in life treated like shit? They work so hard and are so dedicated to their work cause they want to succeed but people look down on them..How can you do that? You should appreciate people's hard work. Sometimes I worry that this country will fall to shit but then I look at someone like my best friend and think that someone like her can save this shithole of a country. She can make a difference in this world. If you have the ability to change something or someone for the better then use it. All it can do is good. *sigh* Well..I feel a little bit better. I needed to get that all out. I am still a bit heated. I will write a little later tonight about something more on the sunny side. Ciao.