what a day
Today has been a weird day... trying to not put negative descriptors, despite my negative feelings. I spent the morning working on a funeral sermon fro someone who couldn't speak to me and the family who I didn't know. I also spent over $400 on all new tires. I'm happy about the new tires, I really am. Just not the $400. I spend the morning with the funeral home being cold to me and the immediate family being distant to me, preaching a sermon that borders on complete lying on my part, just to have the immediate family be stiff during any religious words that they requested. I went to do the graveside prayer and locked my keys in the car. The funeral home called the locksmith, but it meant that I had to stand around with the family, who didn't seem to really want me there, waiting. $40 later, I got into my car to drive back to the office to find out one of my 40 year old co-workers had a major heart attack and is in the hospital. ugh.
I think none of this would be a big deal, except that i'm trying my hardest to be accepting of the news I received yesterday from my doctor. We're done tweaking with my thyroid meds for now and I am now starting a strict diet regimen to help me nto just lose weight, but get my insulin and glucose under control.
I am grateful to have a doctor that tries to see a holistic picture, but part of my just wants her to give me drugs ASAP so I can not only avoid this step, but get to my goal of getting pregnant faster. She said no trying to get pregnant for at least 3 months, when they will evaluate me again. That's December 18. Not that I'm counting down or anything. But no promises about the go-ahead to get pregnant til we see how I react to the diet change.
The question that's stumping me is that they tested for thryoid antibodies to see if I had an autoimmune disease causing my hypothyroid and the test came back negative for any thyroid antibodies. So, what made me so wxtremely hypothyroid so fast? It sure seems like I have been having thyroid problems that were masked from the tests for a while... anyway, back to doing some research and then seeing what the doc suggests as well. It's not like I've been exposed to some type of radiation or anything and I don't have a huge lump growing out my neck either.
Everyday is challenge to my patience, peace, and grace. I want to throw a tantrum fit and wail and scream about how unfair it is that i can't just stop using contraceptives and see what happens. I'm not that stupid... or that trusting. There are too many statistics out there and there's only so many times you can be a statistical miracle. I don't want to risk my babies any more than i have to.
But 35 is approaching faster and faster, it seems.
I think none of this would be a big deal, except that i'm trying my hardest to be accepting of the news I received yesterday from my doctor. We're done tweaking with my thyroid meds for now and I am now starting a strict diet regimen to help me nto just lose weight, but get my insulin and glucose under control.
I am grateful to have a doctor that tries to see a holistic picture, but part of my just wants her to give me drugs ASAP so I can not only avoid this step, but get to my goal of getting pregnant faster. She said no trying to get pregnant for at least 3 months, when they will evaluate me again. That's December 18. Not that I'm counting down or anything. But no promises about the go-ahead to get pregnant til we see how I react to the diet change.
The question that's stumping me is that they tested for thryoid antibodies to see if I had an autoimmune disease causing my hypothyroid and the test came back negative for any thyroid antibodies. So, what made me so wxtremely hypothyroid so fast? It sure seems like I have been having thyroid problems that were masked from the tests for a while... anyway, back to doing some research and then seeing what the doc suggests as well. It's not like I've been exposed to some type of radiation or anything and I don't have a huge lump growing out my neck either.
Everyday is challenge to my patience, peace, and grace. I want to throw a tantrum fit and wail and scream about how unfair it is that i can't just stop using contraceptives and see what happens. I'm not that stupid... or that trusting. There are too many statistics out there and there's only so many times you can be a statistical miracle. I don't want to risk my babies any more than i have to.
But 35 is approaching faster and faster, it seems.