Still alive
Posts have once again been sporadic here but I assure you, I am still here. I have just moved to a new apartment and things have been kind of hectic trying to get everything moved and done. However, the move is definitely worth it. Time to get away from the apartment I had in undergrad and move to something a bit better.
I did contact Opana again in a better performed ritual. I recorded the workings in my paper journal but that is still packed so the specifics are hazy. However the experience itself was unforgettable. From what I remember I saw a faceless human form, hard to tell if it was male or female from the visual but the voice was female. She made her presence known and when I asked her name she spoke it. I was so shaken I couldn't remember the questions I had thought of asking beforehand. She seemed to sense my nervousness and told me to not worry for I was no longer just studying but now doing great works. And it is through trying that we make ourselves into what we are truly supposed to be. I thanked her for her kind words and asked if she had advice for my workings. She told me to form a more concrete plan for my workings and once my life was more settled to put that plan into action, but it was important to not rush this "great work".
I have since been debating what to do. I am leaning towards visiting the seniors of the tables and doing my work that way though part of me is drawn to working through the Aethyrs as Crowly did. I will hopefully have everything done in my current place in the next day or so and can begin my daily workings again. Once I have that rhythm set I will, hopefully, have decided. Though I am open to opinions on which way to go.
As an aside I have never felt anything as powerful or as lasting than doing this kind of work. I was not afraid of my work but the feelings I was left with were powerful. An almost....otherworldly feeling that lasted into the next day. Whether this comes from the vision or from change in myself, I am not sure yet. I am excited to see how things progress. A friend of mine suggested that I look into the creation or purchase of a dark mirror to help my scrying. I'm positive it isn't necessary but it may add clarity to my visions.
I did contact Opana again in a better performed ritual. I recorded the workings in my paper journal but that is still packed so the specifics are hazy. However the experience itself was unforgettable. From what I remember I saw a faceless human form, hard to tell if it was male or female from the visual but the voice was female. She made her presence known and when I asked her name she spoke it. I was so shaken I couldn't remember the questions I had thought of asking beforehand. She seemed to sense my nervousness and told me to not worry for I was no longer just studying but now doing great works. And it is through trying that we make ourselves into what we are truly supposed to be. I thanked her for her kind words and asked if she had advice for my workings. She told me to form a more concrete plan for my workings and once my life was more settled to put that plan into action, but it was important to not rush this "great work".
I have since been debating what to do. I am leaning towards visiting the seniors of the tables and doing my work that way though part of me is drawn to working through the Aethyrs as Crowly did. I will hopefully have everything done in my current place in the next day or so and can begin my daily workings again. Once I have that rhythm set I will, hopefully, have decided. Though I am open to opinions on which way to go.
As an aside I have never felt anything as powerful or as lasting than doing this kind of work. I was not afraid of my work but the feelings I was left with were powerful. An almost....otherworldly feeling that lasted into the next day. Whether this comes from the vision or from change in myself, I am not sure yet. I am excited to see how things progress. A friend of mine suggested that I look into the creation or purchase of a dark mirror to help my scrying. I'm positive it isn't necessary but it may add clarity to my visions.