"My fate"
Do you ever feel like running a marathon after you spend time with a friend? I kinda have that feeling right now. I think I needed a good talk to put things back into perspective, and Ilze and I did just that tonight. We just got to talk about everything and it ruled. She gets me and that's cool to have in a friend. I really dont have any idea what to write about right now because words would be insufficient in describing how it felt today to collect myself. I got a ton of things done around the house and around town on top of getting to spend time with some friends. At work I think and talk about stupid shit all day and that wears down on a person after a while. At a "stimulating" (sarcasm) job such as lifeguarding it's hard not to busy yourself with shallow, mindless chatter. I'm really excited about the next few years now. I know I what I want I just need to stick to my guns and stay focused. As much as I bitch about my car, it does get me where I need to go. I think this is a big obstacle I personally plan on overcoming. I need to sacrifice things in order to stay debt-free. I do not need a new car at this point in my life. I do not have the luxury of having a car given to me or the pleasure of an education that will be fully paid for. As I get older I realize that my family always stretched each dollar and my parents gave us a life that families making 100 grand a year enjoy. Our circle of family friends is full of families that do make that much and as time goes on I realize that I had to grow up a tad sooner and pay my own way sooner than most of my friends. I think in the long run it'll all be worth it, and I want to someday have a degree and business savvy to work my way up in the world and someday give back to my parents. I want my dad to own the newest Lexus LS sedan with the smart key technology that he always talks about but at this point can't really afford. I guess that if you have the key in your pocket you can walk up to your car and the door will unlock. My mom is the person that really makes the sacrifices for us kids though. I would love to take her to the nicest furniture store and let her pick anything she wanted for her living room. She deserves it in my eyes. Maybe I'm just upset that the last 19 years of my life has been a little bit of a smoke and mirrors act and in just the past year I've realized the reality. It's just like when you find out that Santa and the Easter Bunny don't exist, but you were glad that you had a decade's worth of magical memories.