[Fic] Tourists Information Centre
Summary: Ianto Jones does run a "Tourists Information Centre", you know... not an escort boy Centre. Since Tanarian wrote a "THINGS JACK HARKNESS IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO DO" fic, I tend to add ideas to it for myself. This one was:
- Jack is not allowed to use the Tourist Information Centre to offer anything even remotely sexually related.
- Jack is not allowed to add leaflets for escort services to the tourists booklets.
Rating: All Ages
Genres: General, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Eleventh Doctor
Ianto was tidying the tiny local that served as tourist information centre, the cover for Torchwood, when a young man pushed the door open. It was late in the evening, and raining hard outside, and lightning bolts were randomly illuminating the cold night.
While he was sure he had locked the door, it was certainly not a hassle to be polite. "May I help you, sir?"
"Err, well, err..." the young man said timidly. "I... err... need... directions?
"Certainly, sir." Ianto took a map of Cardiff and a pen. "Where do you want to go?"
"Err, the thing is, err... I need to know... where I am". The rest of the sentence was mumbled, and the young man was looking distinctively ashamed.
Since Ianto did not get it the end of the question, he was a bit nonplussed. "I am certain, sir," he began in his most professional voice, "that I can help you, but I need you to speak clearly".
The shade of red on the young man's face deepened. "I said that I need to know when I am rather than where. I seem to be... err... slightly... err... uncertain."
Ianto was totally lost, and for once it must have shown on his face, because the young man began to retreat. "I... never mind, I should not have bothered you, mr. Jones".
Ianto was startled, he had not said his name, nor had he a tag. In a worried voice, he said to the retreating young man, "Wait, please!" He was quickly adding two and two, and suddenly a tiny smile came on his face. "Oh. Doctor? I believe Jack left standing orders that you should be invited in the hub anytime, and I can make you a cup of coffee... or tea, if you prefer. I believe we even have biscuits."
Still looking shy and ashamed, the Doctor slowly came back inside the office. Ianto had opened the cog door, and was waiting calmly next to it with a little encouraging smile on his face.
It was exactly the moment that Jack choose to bluster inside the tourist centre, coming from inside the hub. "Hey, Ianto, are you finished or what? Hoo hello, there" the last part was added in his best flirtatious voice.
Two voices chorused "Stop it, Jack!", one with an almost audible eyes roll, and one a bit nervous.
Jack looked baffled. "What? Come on, it is only a bit of flirt? And this is a Tourists Information Centre, yes? I can help", did he add with a cheesy grin.
"Jack, he is not one of the usual tourists..." was all that Ianto had time to say.
"Aaaah, an alien in the other meaning of the word. Even better. Lost your ship? In need of a lift back home? Anything?" Jack looked hopeful. "I can even offer... various services", was added was a grin.
The Doctor was shaking, one shoulder resting on the wall behing him. Ianto worried, had he been frightened by Jack's offers, since he could well have been just out of regeneration.
"Err... are you right? Shall I bring you anything?" Ianto asked in a concerned voice.
He was soon reassured, as the Doctor lifted his head, eyes twinkling and a smile. "No, thank you... but I do think Cardiff may be the only place, and bear in mind that I am thinking of the whole of the universe, where tourists get offered escort services when they ask for directions... But do not worry, my TARDIS is on the Plas, that is how I recognised the 'where'."
"We aim to pl.... DOCTOR????" Jack was left speachless.
Ianto sighed. "Apparently, there are still things we must add to your list of "DO NOT".