Ooops, Wrong Send (Chapter 2)
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was supposed to have done this last two sundays ago, July 12, 2009 because it was my birthday. thought i might as well give you guys a gift since i didn't get myself anything for my birthday. worth a shot~
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Chapter 2
October 04, 2006
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I just got home a couple of hours ago. I just...
I'm feeling a little weird, to be honest. It's just...been a really weird night. The plan I hatched was successful. Thank God. I was afraid it wouldn't be. Everybody was there and...but that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was what happened after...
I was perfectly fine, to be honest. That is, up until that part where Nino and I were sitting was beside each other, looking up at the stars. It was such a beautiful scene, just the two of us.
I feel so stupid. I just...maybe I shouldn't have leaned over or something because then, nothing would've happened. I would've never met his gaze. He never would have had to say "I'm sorry".
"I'm sorry". I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What the hell does that mean anyway???
I feel like the biggest fool in the world. All the way home, tears were running down my face. I kept hearing that song on the radio and it didn't help. I shut it off instead but the song was already stuck in my head. So now, here I am, crying my eyes out while I'm writing this. I'm sitting on the makeshift dock my father made for me, listening to the song and just...crying.
Now that I think about it, the lyrics seem appropriate (somewhat).
I don't honestly know what happens next. I just...I feel so mad. I'm acting like I'm the victim here because all I feel is pain. I know I don't have any right to feel that way because he was never mine nor we were never together to begin with. We never had any other relationship except a professional one and...my conscience is telling me that what I'm feeling is wrong because there's nothing going on between us. My conscience is telling me that its perfectly fine for him to date because he IS a young guy, and he is gonna go out and go out with anyone he wants. "He will date, you know. It's not like you own him or whatever. Besides, it's not against the law. What are you - his mother??" is what my conscience is telling me. But...I just can't stop feeling this way. I feel like I've been slighted even though I perfectly knew from the start that he was already attached. He already had someone else, someone special in his life and he made that perfectly clear right from the start. But noooooo!!! I had to go ruin it all by falling in love with him!!!
It is my fault so why am I acting like I've been cheated on?? Why am I acting like I've been jilted at the altar on my wedding day?? why, Why, WHY???
I don't know why.
And I don't know why I'm so angry either. GOD!!! Out of all the girls he could've been dating, he's dating her!! HER!!! He could've picked someone better!!! My God!!! Yeah, sure, I could understand if it was some other girl like a female celebrity but...God, her?? I would've been more okay if it was Emiko or-or-or-
He could've done better - SERIOUSLY. no, really. He seriously, really could've done better. But then again, from what I've heard...yeah, well, no wonder he's dating her...
ARGH!!! Why must I always do this to myself?? Why do I have such bad taste in men?? God, this is all my fault. I should've just turned myself in to the police instead of getting involved with him. Community service and a permanent dent on my spotless record is better than this. Never mind that I might get cut off from my father's good graces and be a public embarrassment to society...
Come to think of it, it seems like...either way, whichever I chose, in the end I still lose. Only this time, I lost my heart.
I lost my heart to a guy named Nino...
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 1 2: 0 7: 2 4 a.m.
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October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
I don't want to sleep yet.
I'm still sitting here, looking up at the star-laden sky. The moon isn't full tonight but it looks beautiful, shining against the dark.
I'm still listening to the song. I don't know why but I feel like the lyrics speak to me (somewhat). It's just...it fits my state of mind right now, sitting here at the makeshift dock, my legs hanging against the edge and looking up at the sky.
I can't help but listen to the song and think of only one person...
Mikazuki
We were always together
The two of us walked down a straight road
Separating into two,
we walked off in our separate ways
I hold to this chest that overflowed in loneliness
Even now, I look up at a sky that seems about to cry
I thought of you...
Even in the nights without you
like that, no more cry
I won't cry anymore
Because I'm trying my best
Because I'll become strong
You must be watching too
This crescent moon that seems like it’ll disappear
Because we're connecting
Because I love you
The days when I warmed my completely chilled hands by myself
I so, so yearned for your warmth
No matter how much I was told & "I love you" on the phone
I couldn't ever rely on you
I wiped my tears...
Even in the nights without you
like that, no more cry
I won't cry anymore
Because I'm trying my best
Because I'll become strong
Next time, when will we be able to meet, I wonder?
While embracing the batteries up until then
I said the one word that you love
*Even in the nights without you
like that, no more cry
I won't cry anymore
Because I'm trying my best
Because I'll become strong
You must be watching too
This crescent moon that seems like it'll disappear
Because we're connecting
Because I love you
I stretched out my hand toward the crescent moon
Let these feelings reach you
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 0 1: 0 3: 1 5 a.m.
**********
October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
Damn it.
I feel like cursing right now. This day is turning out to be the worst...
I fell asleep late once I got home last night, or should I say this morning? I was finally asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was on my way to saying how I got a decent sleep when this morning, my mother woke me up.
Damn it.
If things could go bad, they could definitely get worse. And they did.
She started screaming, bursting into my room, and told me to get up for work. As soon as I got down for breakfast, she greeted me with another bout of screeching.
"YOU BROKE UP WITH HANARI???"
Why, yes. And while we're at it, why don't we bring on the fireworks?
She gave me the whole litany, blah, blah, blah. I think she forgot we weren't together to begin with. I would've told her that but I chose to walk out instead.
Eh. I'll deal with that later.
I was already inside the car, when I get a text message from my sister. Next thing I know, I'm getting a barrage of text messages from most of my relatives. All of the messages contain the same thing - "How could you??", "What were you thinking??", "Why did you break up with her??", "What the hell is wrong with you??", "She's a nice girl. How come it didn't work out??", "It's all your fault.", etc. I rolled my eyes at all of it; some, I didn't bother reading. Frankly, I don't really care.
One thing I'm surprised though, word sure travels slow around here...
___________________________________________________________________________________
Nino wrote at 1 0: 2 1: 0 7 a.m.
**********
October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
Oh my god!! How rude!!
Stupid guy!! I can't believe this!! What a jerk!
So there I was, on my way out. I just came off the train, walking down the platform with my bags in tow and here comes this tall guy, bumping against me. Everything would've been fine if the guy watched where he was going.
Seriously, that guy was a jerk! He didn't even help me get up or fix my bags. He just deliberately bumped into me, sending me falling down and my bags flying open. My clothes got scattered all over the floor. And all he could say was "I'm sorry".
*makes a face*
What a jerk!
That was really embarrassing. Everyone seeing my underwear and clothes all over the floor. It's a wonder I have any shred of dignity left...
I can't go out there. I'm too ashamed. So here I am, hiding in the bathroom, writing this down. I'm sitting on a toilet seat lid and it smells...ugh! It smells like someone died in here.
What a way to start my new "life"...thanks God! no, really - thanks a lot...
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my_sakura wrote at 0 8: 4 7: 2 9 a.m.
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chapter 2 of the Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story side-sequel. prologue is here & chapter 1 is here. for the original story, Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story, go here.
i would recommend reading the first story (BMG) before reading this. the story makes more sense that way.
i've got no notes this time except...i should have posted this a long time ago. i've been writing this story for a year now. its an on and off thing. i stop, i write, i write, i stop. i've stopped again because RL has eaten my life and sucked the soul right out of me.
comments are <3 though!
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was supposed to have done this last two sundays ago, July 12, 2009 because it was my birthday. thought i might as well give you guys a gift since i didn't get myself anything for my birthday. worth a shot~
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Chapter 2
October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
I just got home a couple of hours ago. I just...
I'm feeling a little weird, to be honest. It's just...been a really weird night. The plan I hatched was successful. Thank God. I was afraid it wouldn't be. Everybody was there and...but that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was what happened after...
I was perfectly fine, to be honest. That is, up until that part where Nino and I were sitting was beside each other, looking up at the stars. It was such a beautiful scene, just the two of us.
I feel so stupid. I just...maybe I shouldn't have leaned over or something because then, nothing would've happened. I would've never met his gaze. He never would have had to say "I'm sorry".
"I'm sorry". I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What the hell does that mean anyway???
I feel like the biggest fool in the world. All the way home, tears were running down my face. I kept hearing that song on the radio and it didn't help. I shut it off instead but the song was already stuck in my head. So now, here I am, crying my eyes out while I'm writing this. I'm sitting on the makeshift dock my father made for me, listening to the song and just...crying.
Now that I think about it, the lyrics seem appropriate (somewhat).
I don't honestly know what happens next. I just...I feel so mad. I'm acting like I'm the victim here because all I feel is pain. I know I don't have any right to feel that way because he was never mine nor we were never together to begin with. We never had any other relationship except a professional one and...my conscience is telling me that what I'm feeling is wrong because there's nothing going on between us. My conscience is telling me that its perfectly fine for him to date because he IS a young guy, and he is gonna go out and go out with anyone he wants. "He will date, you know. It's not like you own him or whatever. Besides, it's not against the law. What are you - his mother??" is what my conscience is telling me. But...I just can't stop feeling this way. I feel like I've been slighted even though I perfectly knew from the start that he was already attached. He already had someone else, someone special in his life and he made that perfectly clear right from the start. But noooooo!!! I had to go ruin it all by falling in love with him!!!
It is my fault so why am I acting like I've been cheated on?? Why am I acting like I've been jilted at the altar on my wedding day?? why, Why, WHY???
I don't know why.
And I don't know why I'm so angry either. GOD!!! Out of all the girls he could've been dating, he's dating her!! HER!!! He could've picked someone better!!! My God!!! Yeah, sure, I could understand if it was some other girl like a female celebrity but...God, her?? I would've been more okay if it was Emiko or-or-or-
He could've done better - SERIOUSLY. no, really. He seriously, really could've done better. But then again, from what I've heard...yeah, well, no wonder he's dating her...
ARGH!!! Why must I always do this to myself?? Why do I have such bad taste in men?? God, this is all my fault. I should've just turned myself in to the police instead of getting involved with him. Community service and a permanent dent on my spotless record is better than this. Never mind that I might get cut off from my father's good graces and be a public embarrassment to society...
Come to think of it, it seems like...either way, whichever I chose, in the end I still lose. Only this time, I lost my heart.
I lost my heart to a guy named Nino...
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 1 2: 0 7: 2 4 a.m.
***********
October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
I don't want to sleep yet.
I'm still sitting here, looking up at the star-laden sky. The moon isn't full tonight but it looks beautiful, shining against the dark.
I'm still listening to the song. I don't know why but I feel like the lyrics speak to me (somewhat). It's just...it fits my state of mind right now, sitting here at the makeshift dock, my legs hanging against the edge and looking up at the sky.
I can't help but listen to the song and think of only one person...
Mikazuki
We were always together
The two of us walked down a straight road
Separating into two,
we walked off in our separate ways
I hold to this chest that overflowed in loneliness
Even now, I look up at a sky that seems about to cry
I thought of you...
Even in the nights without you
like that, no more cry
I won't cry anymore
Because I'm trying my best
Because I'll become strong
You must be watching too
This crescent moon that seems like it’ll disappear
Because we're connecting
Because I love you
The days when I warmed my completely chilled hands by myself
I so, so yearned for your warmth
No matter how much I was told & "I love you" on the phone
I couldn't ever rely on you
I wiped my tears...
Even in the nights without you
like that, no more cry
I won't cry anymore
Because I'm trying my best
Because I'll become strong
Next time, when will we be able to meet, I wonder?
While embracing the batteries up until then
I said the one word that you love
*Even in the nights without you
like that, no more cry
I won't cry anymore
Because I'm trying my best
Because I'll become strong
You must be watching too
This crescent moon that seems like it'll disappear
Because we're connecting
Because I love you
I stretched out my hand toward the crescent moon
Let these feelings reach you
___________________________________________________________________________________
Hanari wrote at 0 1: 0 3: 1 5 a.m.
**********
October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
Damn it.
I feel like cursing right now. This day is turning out to be the worst...
I fell asleep late once I got home last night, or should I say this morning? I was finally asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was on my way to saying how I got a decent sleep when this morning, my mother woke me up.
Damn it.
If things could go bad, they could definitely get worse. And they did.
She started screaming, bursting into my room, and told me to get up for work. As soon as I got down for breakfast, she greeted me with another bout of screeching.
"YOU BROKE UP WITH HANARI???"
Why, yes. And while we're at it, why don't we bring on the fireworks?
She gave me the whole litany, blah, blah, blah. I think she forgot we weren't together to begin with. I would've told her that but I chose to walk out instead.
Eh. I'll deal with that later.
I was already inside the car, when I get a text message from my sister. Next thing I know, I'm getting a barrage of text messages from most of my relatives. All of the messages contain the same thing - "How could you??", "What were you thinking??", "Why did you break up with her??", "What the hell is wrong with you??", "She's a nice girl. How come it didn't work out??", "It's all your fault.", etc. I rolled my eyes at all of it; some, I didn't bother reading. Frankly, I don't really care.
One thing I'm surprised though, word sure travels slow around here...
___________________________________________________________________________________
Nino wrote at 1 0: 2 1: 0 7 a.m.
**********
October 04, 2006
___________________________________________________________________________________
Oh my god!! How rude!!
Stupid guy!! I can't believe this!! What a jerk!
So there I was, on my way out. I just came off the train, walking down the platform with my bags in tow and here comes this tall guy, bumping against me. Everything would've been fine if the guy watched where he was going.
Seriously, that guy was a jerk! He didn't even help me get up or fix my bags. He just deliberately bumped into me, sending me falling down and my bags flying open. My clothes got scattered all over the floor. And all he could say was "I'm sorry".
*makes a face*
What a jerk!
That was really embarrassing. Everyone seeing my underwear and clothes all over the floor. It's a wonder I have any shred of dignity left...
I can't go out there. I'm too ashamed. So here I am, hiding in the bathroom, writing this down. I'm sitting on a toilet seat lid and it smells...ugh! It smells like someone died in here.
What a way to start my new "life"...thanks God! no, really - thanks a lot...
___________________________________________________________________________________
my_sakura wrote at 0 8: 4 7: 2 9 a.m.
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chapter 2 of the Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story side-sequel. prologue is here & chapter 1 is here. for the original story, Boy Meets Girl, Girl Meets Boy: A Love Story, go here.
i would recommend reading the first story (BMG) before reading this. the story makes more sense that way.
i've got no notes this time except...i should have posted this a long time ago. i've been writing this story for a year now. its an on and off thing. i stop, i write, i write, i stop. i've stopped again because RL has eaten my life and sucked the soul right out of me.
comments are <3 though!
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