Quote #2 Billy Connolly
This weeks quote comes from the actor, musician, comedian, Billy "The Big Yin" Connolly.
I love this; it makes me giggle every damn time:
"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?"
No big research paper-y post this time, I promise. LOL
I'll simply say, I THINK THIS MAN IS FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!
Plug him into a search engine some time and see what pops up.
Here are a few more Billy Connolly gems for your enjoyment:
"What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you fucking McTosser!"
"I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home."
"American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head - supposedly for people to drive along the freeway with."
"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."
"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"
"He was an interesting character, Hadrian was. He had a husband and a wife. And he built this enormous wall. I'd never thought of him as a gay bricklayer before."
[about Jeffrey Dahmer, the serial killer] "You know, Jeffrey could have been a visionary. I'm not saying cannibalism's the answer, I'm not urging you to do it, just... think about it."
“Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.”
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.”
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."
I love this; it makes me giggle every damn time:
"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?"
No big research paper-y post this time, I promise. LOL
I'll simply say, I THINK THIS MAN IS FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!
Plug him into a search engine some time and see what pops up.
Here are a few more Billy Connolly gems for your enjoyment:
"What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you fucking McTosser!"
"I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home."
"American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head - supposedly for people to drive along the freeway with."
"I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives."
"If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?"
"He was an interesting character, Hadrian was. He had a husband and a wife. And he built this enormous wall. I'd never thought of him as a gay bricklayer before."
[about Jeffrey Dahmer, the serial killer] "You know, Jeffrey could have been a visionary. I'm not saying cannibalism's the answer, I'm not urging you to do it, just... think about it."
“Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.”
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.”
"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."