More thoughts on the life and lies of Remus Lupin
After my post about Remus on Sunday, and spurred by discussions in the comment, I've been thinking more about him. Shocker, eh? It's more that in my last post, I didn't really delve very deeply into his flaws as they've been portrayed in canon since he was first introduced, and I just had a few more things I wanted to add. Pardon my rambling. And again, I've left my biased shippy perceptions out of it. :)
So, we meet Remus in PoA, and to all intents and purposes, he's a kindly, intelligent, fair-minded professor, if a bit tired, worn and sickly. He's kind to Harry, but also distant, and he keeps his emotions very tightly reined. The calm, friendly demeanor is all that we see. He loses control once in the form of a dropped briefcase when Harry mentions Sirius' name. Considering the things Remus knows when that incident takes place, in hindsight, the fact that he only dropped the briefcase is very telling.
Later when the truths are revealed, Remus is still fairly calm, especially considering the circumstances, but his emotions are closest to the surface that we'd seen thus far. Particularly his self-disgust at himself when he tells the trio how he had been battling with himself about telling Dumbledore that Sirius was an animagus, and even goes to far as to call himself cowardly. He tells them how he lied to himself, and convinced himself that Sirius was using dark arts magic to get into the castle.
PoA is usually toted as the favorite book in Remus-centric circles, yet it amazes me how many people appear to have casually overlooked his self-professed cowardice and selfishness. Remus lies to himself and, as an extension, to others. He's a damn good liar, too, because he has to convince himself to believe the lies he constructs in his head, to rationalize them. Lies that once constructed form the basis of his future decisions and actions.
We saw a different Remus in OotP. My personal belief is that this change was because of Sirius' presence. And I'm not even saying that from a shippy perspective - I thought this before I came to fandom and before I started shipping them. My belief is based on a 'best friends' angle. Particularly in light of the past, I simply don't think Sirius would let him lie so easily. They already paid far too heavy a price for their lies.
If Remus told Sirius that he "must be grateful to Snape", as he told Harry in HBP, Sirius would have raged and ripped him a new one. I've always felt that James and Sirius, and perhape even Peter, called him on this behavior. They were his best friends, and that's what best friends do. Remus of course did not reciprocate, as he also admits. Dumbledore made him prefect with the hopes that he might have some influence over James and Sirius, as we learn in OotP, but that was something of a lost cause. Why? Remus wants to be liked. He was obviously able to overcome some of this, perhaps realizing that Sirius would still like and even love him no matter what, but how he interacts with Sirius, his best friend, is very different to how he interacts with others, and comparing that is like apples and oranges.
So, we have:
1) Remus is the consummate liar. He lies first to himself, and as a consequence, as a result, he lies to others. He doesn't lie maliciously, but rather due to fear and anxiety, low self-esteem and self-worth, misguided attempts to protect people he loves, and yes, cowardice.
Remus is brave about many things - he doesn't hesitate to go after Harry and the others in the Shrieking Shack, he is there in the Department of Mysteries when Harry is in danger, he goes off to spy on the werewolves and face the one who bit him, and he volunteers to be part of the decoy team to retrieve Harry and fights bravely. However, when it comes to facing his own personal issues and demons, fearing retribution, shame and being shunned, he is a coward.
2) Remus keeps a tight rein on his emotions, fearing perhaps "the wolf within" (and considering what we know of Greyback, again, this may well be a valid fear.) His status as a werewolf almost forces him to keep a low profile, to make sure people don't get too close and discover his secret, to prove perhaps that he is even "more human" in a sense. And as we see, he seems to prefer to keep his personal life to himself. He would sacrifice his own happiness due to his own lack of self-worth.
3) Yet above all of this, Remus wants to be liked. He wanted to have friends and consequently overlooked a lot of questionable and even dangerous behavior. When his best friends became animagi and promised him they'd protect him, he acquiesced, he trusted them. When Dumbledore offered him a teaching position, he trusted Dumbledore and Snape to keep him and the students safe. When Tonks offered him love and a future, he (eventually) trusted her, and the others who supported their relationship.
But Remus still had his issues, and his fears and anxieties did not go away. He merely buried them, beneath lies and truths both.
As I stated above, Remus in OotP is very different from the Remus we first meet in PoA, and different to the Remus we see in both HBP and DH. What is missing from PoA, HBP and DH Remus that is present in OotP? Sirius.
Without his best friends, without anyone to smack him upside the head, he regresses into the passive-aggressive, self-lying, Remus. Flash forward to the scene in Grimmauld Place when he has the row with Harry in DH. Harry has grown up, and Harry acts as he believes James would have. And in that moment, in a sense, to Remus Harry is James - James and Sirius. Just to clarify, I'm not saying Remus thinks Harry is James, or that he confuses them. (I really don't want to start that sort of discussion again!) Harry says things that James and Sirius would have dared to say to him, confronts him with his weakness - calls him a coward. And it cut very deeply. Hearing a truth we don't want to face from the people we love and trust hurts like nothing else. Remus might have stormed out furious, but he knows that Harry was right. What we know of his actions subsequent to the row show that much.
Again, of course Harry was cruel. James and Sirius weren't exactly delicate either. It took a lot to shatter the pillar of lies, and that shattering hurt like a bitch. ETA: And as kethlenda pointed out and reminded me, that's also the moment when the relationship between Harry and Remus changes: Harry is no longer the child, the student, but rather an adult, and his father's son, no less.
Was he "redeemed" and perfect afterwards? Of course not. He's human. He'll always be flawed, and thank God for that. I LIKE him like that. But he was more like the Remus we knew in OotP after that row than any other time since, and despite my sadness at his death, I was happy to see him go out that way.
So, we meet Remus in PoA, and to all intents and purposes, he's a kindly, intelligent, fair-minded professor, if a bit tired, worn and sickly. He's kind to Harry, but also distant, and he keeps his emotions very tightly reined. The calm, friendly demeanor is all that we see. He loses control once in the form of a dropped briefcase when Harry mentions Sirius' name. Considering the things Remus knows when that incident takes place, in hindsight, the fact that he only dropped the briefcase is very telling.
Later when the truths are revealed, Remus is still fairly calm, especially considering the circumstances, but his emotions are closest to the surface that we'd seen thus far. Particularly his self-disgust at himself when he tells the trio how he had been battling with himself about telling Dumbledore that Sirius was an animagus, and even goes to far as to call himself cowardly. He tells them how he lied to himself, and convinced himself that Sirius was using dark arts magic to get into the castle.
PoA is usually toted as the favorite book in Remus-centric circles, yet it amazes me how many people appear to have casually overlooked his self-professed cowardice and selfishness. Remus lies to himself and, as an extension, to others. He's a damn good liar, too, because he has to convince himself to believe the lies he constructs in his head, to rationalize them. Lies that once constructed form the basis of his future decisions and actions.
We saw a different Remus in OotP. My personal belief is that this change was because of Sirius' presence. And I'm not even saying that from a shippy perspective - I thought this before I came to fandom and before I started shipping them. My belief is based on a 'best friends' angle. Particularly in light of the past, I simply don't think Sirius would let him lie so easily. They already paid far too heavy a price for their lies.
If Remus told Sirius that he "must be grateful to Snape", as he told Harry in HBP, Sirius would have raged and ripped him a new one. I've always felt that James and Sirius, and perhape even Peter, called him on this behavior. They were his best friends, and that's what best friends do. Remus of course did not reciprocate, as he also admits. Dumbledore made him prefect with the hopes that he might have some influence over James and Sirius, as we learn in OotP, but that was something of a lost cause. Why? Remus wants to be liked. He was obviously able to overcome some of this, perhaps realizing that Sirius would still like and even love him no matter what, but how he interacts with Sirius, his best friend, is very different to how he interacts with others, and comparing that is like apples and oranges.
So, we have:
1) Remus is the consummate liar. He lies first to himself, and as a consequence, as a result, he lies to others. He doesn't lie maliciously, but rather due to fear and anxiety, low self-esteem and self-worth, misguided attempts to protect people he loves, and yes, cowardice.
Remus is brave about many things - he doesn't hesitate to go after Harry and the others in the Shrieking Shack, he is there in the Department of Mysteries when Harry is in danger, he goes off to spy on the werewolves and face the one who bit him, and he volunteers to be part of the decoy team to retrieve Harry and fights bravely. However, when it comes to facing his own personal issues and demons, fearing retribution, shame and being shunned, he is a coward.
2) Remus keeps a tight rein on his emotions, fearing perhaps "the wolf within" (and considering what we know of Greyback, again, this may well be a valid fear.) His status as a werewolf almost forces him to keep a low profile, to make sure people don't get too close and discover his secret, to prove perhaps that he is even "more human" in a sense. And as we see, he seems to prefer to keep his personal life to himself. He would sacrifice his own happiness due to his own lack of self-worth.
3) Yet above all of this, Remus wants to be liked. He wanted to have friends and consequently overlooked a lot of questionable and even dangerous behavior. When his best friends became animagi and promised him they'd protect him, he acquiesced, he trusted them. When Dumbledore offered him a teaching position, he trusted Dumbledore and Snape to keep him and the students safe. When Tonks offered him love and a future, he (eventually) trusted her, and the others who supported their relationship.
But Remus still had his issues, and his fears and anxieties did not go away. He merely buried them, beneath lies and truths both.
As I stated above, Remus in OotP is very different from the Remus we first meet in PoA, and different to the Remus we see in both HBP and DH. What is missing from PoA, HBP and DH Remus that is present in OotP? Sirius.
Without his best friends, without anyone to smack him upside the head, he regresses into the passive-aggressive, self-lying, Remus. Flash forward to the scene in Grimmauld Place when he has the row with Harry in DH. Harry has grown up, and Harry acts as he believes James would have. And in that moment, in a sense, to Remus Harry is James - James and Sirius. Just to clarify, I'm not saying Remus thinks Harry is James, or that he confuses them. (I really don't want to start that sort of discussion again!) Harry says things that James and Sirius would have dared to say to him, confronts him with his weakness - calls him a coward. And it cut very deeply. Hearing a truth we don't want to face from the people we love and trust hurts like nothing else. Remus might have stormed out furious, but he knows that Harry was right. What we know of his actions subsequent to the row show that much.
Again, of course Harry was cruel. James and Sirius weren't exactly delicate either. It took a lot to shatter the pillar of lies, and that shattering hurt like a bitch. ETA: And as kethlenda pointed out and reminded me, that's also the moment when the relationship between Harry and Remus changes: Harry is no longer the child, the student, but rather an adult, and his father's son, no less.
Was he "redeemed" and perfect afterwards? Of course not. He's human. He'll always be flawed, and thank God for that. I LIKE him like that. But he was more like the Remus we knew in OotP after that row than any other time since, and despite my sadness at his death, I was happy to see him go out that way.