Return to reality
So last night a friend of mine showed me his online journal. I read a few entries and it got me thinking back to own poor, neglected journal. His journal was very important to him. Only me and one other person know if it's existence. It's a kind of outlet for him to say what he's really thinking where nobody connected to him can see. Now, that's a curious difference between a normal traditional journal and what we refer to today as a 'blog'. On the one hand you have a book, some sort of sacred epitome that nobody is ever supposed to see till your dead. Of course, when you're dead this book will some sort of insight into the kind of person you were, the kind of life you lived, and the kind of things you thought when you thought nobody else could hear you. Now, in the case of the blog you have a similar concept only this is accessible to literally anyone. If you choose not to tell your friends about it then the chances of them sifting through the millions of blogs out there and finding yours is very slight. However literally anyone with an internet connection can stumble upon your journal and read passages of your innermost thoughts. This got me thinking about reading mine and let me tell you it goes back into the dark ages, what I like to call 'High School'. If we take it all the way back, then it would seem that June 12th, 2005 this emo got his wings.
Is it wrong that I read these and I wanna go back in time and slap myself?
Let's talk about a few realities that have come to be since I last posted, let alone the truths about my adolescent posts.
-The 'sweet' boy from St. Johns cheated on me, lied to me for almost a year about it and then broke my heart right after my birthday and was in bed with someone else before the week was out.
-Alot of the people I considered to be my great 'infallible' friends (both in Montreal and in Lethbridge) turned out to be little more than people. In every good and bad sense of the word.
-The friends that I hadn't put faith in were actually the best friends I ever had. One in particular is someone I know I can count on till the day I die.
-Family comes around. It may take years, but it will eventually happen.
Life has really turned a page though. I no longer feel homesick. Montreal is my home and I have a steady job that pays me nicely. I have a couple of really great friends. Most importantly I start classes at Concordia University this September. I finally got over my fears and applied to Fine Arts and I may be taking a minor in Film Studies if all goes according to plan.
Best of all, no men right now. I've met a couple recently but the urge to get into a relationship that is all emotionally involved is no longer there. I am my own person finally. I don't know at what point it happened but I feel like I can take some time now to figure out who I wanna be with. I'm just gonna have fun in the meantime.
I'll try to get back into this journaling thing again because it would seem I have some work to do to balance out all those posts from High School.
Talk to you soon
Is it wrong that I read these and I wanna go back in time and slap myself?
Let's talk about a few realities that have come to be since I last posted, let alone the truths about my adolescent posts.
-The 'sweet' boy from St. Johns cheated on me, lied to me for almost a year about it and then broke my heart right after my birthday and was in bed with someone else before the week was out.
-Alot of the people I considered to be my great 'infallible' friends (both in Montreal and in Lethbridge) turned out to be little more than people. In every good and bad sense of the word.
-The friends that I hadn't put faith in were actually the best friends I ever had. One in particular is someone I know I can count on till the day I die.
-Family comes around. It may take years, but it will eventually happen.
Life has really turned a page though. I no longer feel homesick. Montreal is my home and I have a steady job that pays me nicely. I have a couple of really great friends. Most importantly I start classes at Concordia University this September. I finally got over my fears and applied to Fine Arts and I may be taking a minor in Film Studies if all goes according to plan.
Best of all, no men right now. I've met a couple recently but the urge to get into a relationship that is all emotionally involved is no longer there. I am my own person finally. I don't know at what point it happened but I feel like I can take some time now to figure out who I wanna be with. I'm just gonna have fun in the meantime.
I'll try to get back into this journaling thing again because it would seem I have some work to do to balance out all those posts from High School.
Talk to you soon