homeless brain
Sleep deprivation has left me with natural black eyeshadow beneath my eyes. Woe is me, school is on it's way out! Graduation next week, I'll be in a wash of tears, or will I? I don't know how I feel about leaving school. For most of my life, school has been the foundation and structure of my life, without it I fear I may collapse into a big useless heap. ekkkkk. Any way, on another subject I have mixed emotions on----I HATE boys, not all boys, I don't hate them, I'm just damned dissapointed!
It's like me and clare say, boys are just penises running around nuzzleing any bush that pops up beside them. Life is nothing but a bunch of vaginas and penises scurrying the streets beeping there horns to get to there next fuck, or doing something that will asure a partner of there suitability. Everything we do in life is to get something, or compete, be better then someone else, feel superior, find some meaning in something. But its nothing but allusions, meaning is only found when searched for, or when dissapointment leads to deeper thinking, and then your desperately needing to discover some comforting thought or resolution to make what ever bad situation not so bad.Create your own meaning, discover a message, a lesson to be learnt or gain greater understanding................... I wish I was more articulate on LJ, actually I wish I was more articulate in real life. I'm very much a fat long stream of conciousness.
Lately I'm becaming more aware of how judgemental I am, I've been going to different uni's to check out the courses and campus. At syd uni I was sort of just rambleing about how one of the course co-ordinators looks like so so, and how so so is such a fugly thing blah blah blah. My mum just looked at me in disgust, she told me off for being Sometimes I can't help but judge people on appearances, because there are so many clues jumping off the clothes and face, features of a person that suggests how they live, what they value and so forth. It's only natural to judge people upon how they present them selves, but maybe I should keep my opinions to myself, or at least away from my mother, as her judgement is based on what I say.
Hum, I'm not happy larry garrrrrr.......I want to crawl out of my skin, escape my comfort zone, do something different. I need something to dooooooooo......I need a challenge, somebody challenge me on some level, ask me something, tell me to do something, cos I've lost all imagination.....
It's like me and clare say, boys are just penises running around nuzzleing any bush that pops up beside them. Life is nothing but a bunch of vaginas and penises scurrying the streets beeping there horns to get to there next fuck, or doing something that will asure a partner of there suitability. Everything we do in life is to get something, or compete, be better then someone else, feel superior, find some meaning in something. But its nothing but allusions, meaning is only found when searched for, or when dissapointment leads to deeper thinking, and then your desperately needing to discover some comforting thought or resolution to make what ever bad situation not so bad.Create your own meaning, discover a message, a lesson to be learnt or gain greater understanding................... I wish I was more articulate on LJ, actually I wish I was more articulate in real life. I'm very much a fat long stream of conciousness.
Lately I'm becaming more aware of how judgemental I am, I've been going to different uni's to check out the courses and campus. At syd uni I was sort of just rambleing about how one of the course co-ordinators looks like so so, and how so so is such a fugly thing blah blah blah. My mum just looked at me in disgust, she told me off for being Sometimes I can't help but judge people on appearances, because there are so many clues jumping off the clothes and face, features of a person that suggests how they live, what they value and so forth. It's only natural to judge people upon how they present them selves, but maybe I should keep my opinions to myself, or at least away from my mother, as her judgement is based on what I say.
Hum, I'm not happy larry garrrrrr.......I want to crawl out of my skin, escape my comfort zone, do something different. I need something to dooooooooo......I need a challenge, somebody challenge me on some level, ask me something, tell me to do something, cos I've lost all imagination.....