poured my heart out (there's bits of it on the floor). | jeremy/tyler (vampire diaries).
pg13. | 2k words. | spoilers for 3x10. | photoset on tumblr for it
here. |
ao3.
Tyler is uncomfortable in his own skin, itching to crawl out of it, to not be himself for a little while.
Tyler is uncomfortable in his own skin, itching to crawl out of it, to not be himself for a little while. It’s the wolf in him, pacing back and forth, clawing at the cage he’s locked it down in. He’s gotten used to ignoring when it wants out, but there’s just some things he can’t ignore.
Klaus says it’s normal. Normal for the wolf to be upset about loneliness, normal for the wolf to want contact.
Normal for the wolf to want to be around its mate.
Tyler thinks he may have passed out at that point.
Mate.
Klaus is patient with him, calm in ways Tyler’s not used to seeing. There’s something else that he’s not used to seeing, so much that it makes his wolf whine, makes him want to offer some sort of comfort to Klaus. It’s something like regret or pain, something that’s becoming easier for Tyler to identify with as time wears on.
If that’s what eternity’s going to be like, Tyler wants a refund.
--
At first, he thinks it’s Caroline. It makes sense, at least, in some way it does.
But then he hears it.
Hears Damon compelling Jeremy, not far from the Gilbert house. He’s not intentionally eavesdropping, was just passing through, but it’s one of those urges he can’t control. To stop and listen in, mostly for Jeremy.
It hits Tyler like a semi truck to the chest, nearly knocks him off his feet.
The wolf howls, whines, mewls, paws at the cage.
Tyler feels like his chest has been torn open and does the one thing he knows to do.
He runs.
His feet don’t make any sound, tearing through distance like it’s nothing, not even knowing where they’re carrying him. Though it really shouldn’t surprise him that he ends up face to face with Klaus.
“Please.”
--
Klaus’s hand on his shoulder is a strange comfort, it helps Tyler suck in the breaths he doesn’t really need, helps him pull himself together.
He nods when he’s certain he’s got some control over himself and the hand drops. Tyler misses the comfort of it.
“Damon compelled him. He’s leaving and he’s not going to care and he can’t just leave. He can’t,” Tyler’s throat closes up in a way that leaves him wanting to cry.
Klaus’s hand is back on his shoulder, squeezing almost to pain, bringing some clarity into Tyler’s mind for a moment, “He’s not going to go anywhere. It’ll be fine,” he states.
His voice is clear, strong, and Tyler finds himself nodding.
“I told you I would take care of you, Tyler,” Klaus has that look again, it makes Tyler curious, but he knows better than to ask, “And I will.”
Tyler leaves and thinks about how long ago Klaus must’ve lost his mate.
--
Tyler feels antsy the next day, pacing around, can’t even go to school. Too afraid he’ll rip into the first person that asks him what’s wrong.
Too afraid of what he’ll do if he sees Jeremy. Hell, if he even hears him or smells him.
He’s surprised he hasn’t worn a hole into the rug from his pacing, hasn’t pulled out half his hair, shoving his fingers through it repeatedly.
The knock on the door has him tripping over himself in order to get down the stairs. He wrenches the door open, maybe only a second later, and practically bounces on the balls of his feet as he looks at Klaus.
Klaus looks amused now, nodding his head only once, “He’s not going anywhere.”
Tyler breaths a sigh of relief, feels stupid for doing so, because, of course, Klaus would come through, would do as he said. He always did.
He can’t decide if he wants to go now, wants to go see Jeremy, but Klaus makes the decision for him.
“Calm down first, Tyler,” Klaus states, intent and focused.
Tyler sucks in air until he’s not vibrating on the spot, settling on his feet, his hands still by his side.
He wonders if Klaus didn’t calm himself down first.
--
He stands outside the house, listening. There’s only one heartbeat, strong and steady coming from upstairs. The wolf feels agitated, annoyed that they would leave Jeremy unprotected. His knees nearly buckle on the sudden urge to protect Jeremy, to make sure nothing ever happens.
It’s staggering in its strength, in its intensity.
Tyler takes a few breaths, reminding himself, his wolf, that Jeremy is capable of protecting himself. It takes a few minutes because Tyler’s not sure if he believes it himself, but it sinks in and he’s got his control locked back in place once more.
He crosses the road to the house, knocks a few times before he steps inside, pushing the door shut with a soft click behind him, “Jere?”
“Upstairs!”
Tyler lets out a whoosh of a breath before starting up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He stops at the door frame of Jeremy’s bedroom, taking a few deep breaths, letting himself calm down again.
“Tyler?”
It’s easy to take the few more steps into Jeremy’s room, stopping inside the doorway, not sure of what he’s supposed to expect as he watches Jeremy, “Hey.”
Tyler observes, catches the slight incline of Jeremy’s head, before he runs his fingers through his own hair, “I was just coming to see how you were doing?” He murmurs when he realizes Jeremy isn’t going to respond.
Jeremy lets out a little sigh before he shrugs, Tyler doesn’t think it’s a good sign but he tries not to react, “I’ve been better,” he talks slowly, as if he’s choosing his words, deciding what to say as if he’s afraid he’ll set Tyler off.
It hurts.
“I’m sorry...about...” he makes a wide sweeping gesture that he hopes Jeremy gets.
Jeremy licks his lips, nods once, “I know.”
Tyler moves slowly, as if Jeremy’s the animal that he has to be careful around and not the other way around, settles next to Jeremy on the bed so their shoulders brush, their thighs pressed together through layers of denim.
“Now what?”
Tyler glances over at Jeremy, wants to hold, to kiss him, to taste him, to be with him. His mind sort of reels from it. Everything kicks into overdrive when Jeremy drops his gaze, head tipping in a way that bares his neck. Tyler isn’t sure if it’s something Jeremy is aware he’s doing whether or not it’s a conscious or unconscious show of submission.
Tyler makes a low sound before he realizes it, somewhere between a whine and a growl, torn between what’s happening in front of him, two many parts of him warring in his head. The humanity he’s clinging to, the wolf that’s barely caged anymore, and the vampire, the predator, wanting nothing more than for him to sink his teeth into the neck in front of him.
Jeremy looks sort of alarmed, head lifting, neck no longer bare as he catches Tyler’s gaze, “Ty? Tyler, are you okay?”
He nods, presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, drawing in a ragged breath, but all that does is drags Jeremy’s scent into his system and he feels high.
Fingers are pressing to his jaw, drawing his gaze in, Tyler finds himself staring at Jeremy, has a feeling he might look a little more than half crazed right now, trying to keep a lock on his control.
“Tyler, breathe,” Jeremy states.
Tyler sucks in a breath, hadn’t realized he’d even stopped breathing, forces his lungs to work.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
“Are you okay?”
Tyler nods his head, the action causing Jeremy’s fingers to slip over his cheeks. He focuses on Jeremy’s face, on the emotions. Curiosity, worry, and something else.
He should’ve asked what Klaus had told Jeremy.
“I’m okay, it’s just...” Tyler sucks in a breath. “You did your research on werewolves, yeah? When you found out about,” he gestures to himself than towards the window, waits for Jeremy’s nod, “And wolves and packs and all that?”
Jeremy flushes a little, pink high on his cheeks, “Yeah.”
Tyler nods, running his fingers through his hair once more, tugging lightly on the ends of the strands, “Did you come across anything about mates?”
The pink on Jeremy’s cheeks intensifies, “Yeah, wolves mate for life, you mean, like that sort of stuff?”
Letting out a rush of air, Tyler nods again, “Yeah, yeah, that exactly,” he murmurs, before realizing Jeremy’s looking at him expectantly. “Werewolves are the same way. One mate for their entire life,” he continues, rubbing his palms over his thighs, nervousness settling in the pit of his stomach.
“Okay...”
“Hybrids are the same way,” he bites down hard on his lip, drawing a little bit of blood before the skin knits back together, “And for a werewolf, a hybrid, to live without their mate. It’s agony, you know? Because the wolf wants its mate, whines for it, and seeing as the wolf and the human are one, sort of, I guess, the human feels that same sort of pain as well.”
Jeremy shifts and the nervousness is rolling off of him in waves that are almost palpable. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I found my mate, Jere.”
Jeremy’s eyebrows furrow, like he’s trying to figure out why Tyler is telling him this. Tyler stays silent, lets it sink in slowly, watches the realization dawn on Jeremy’s face before he drops his gaze.
“Me?”
Tyler nods, swallowing heavily, “You don’t have to...” he trails off and shakes his head, “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, Jere. If you want to be with me, you do. If you don’t, then I’m not going to force you,” he states finally, scratching his blunt finger nails over his denim clad thighs to distract himself.
Jeremy lets out a heavy breath next to him, sinking even more into the bed.
Tyler can practically hear the gears turning in his head.
“Can I ask you something?”
Tyler chances a glance at Jeremy before nodding slowly, “Yeah.”
The nervousness is back, so much that it winds Tyler tighter than a bow string.
“Before,” Jeremy stops, licks his lips again, thinking, “Before you were a wolf, before you,” he makes this vague gesture, but Tyler nods because he understands, “Did you...did you...you know?” Jeremy gestures to himself, eyes steadily trained on the floor.
Tyler bites down on his lip and sucks in a soft breath, “Honestly, I don’t really know,” he murmurs finally, “I was so focused on myself that I really don’t know.”
Jeremy nods, shifting on the bed. Tyler immediately misses the contact.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Tyler turns, looking at Jeremy, eyebrow lifted.
Jeremy lips quirk a little at the corners, before the tug down, like he’s not sure what he’s supposed to be feeling. Tyler doesn’t blame him. “Yes, okay.”
Tyler feels his own lips tilt up, nods, “Okay, okay,” he echoes, tilting his head a little. He watches Jeremy for a few seconds, maybe longer because Jeremy starts fidgeting.
He moves slowly, doesn’t want to scare Jeremy, doesn’t want to overwhelm himself, tilting his head even more so he can slot their lips together. He makes no move to deepen the kiss beyond just light pressure, their lips just sliding over each others, before he pulls back.
Tyler feels giddy, his wolf content and happy, settled for once, his lips pulling into a full smile before he realizes it.
Jeremy is smiling too, looks content, “Yeah, definitely okay,” he states after a few seconds, prompting a chuckle from Tyler.
Tyler knows they’ll have to deal with Elena, with Damon, with Alaric.
He knows it’s not going to be easy or simple. He doesn’t expect it to be.
Right now though, he expects to be able to sit here with his mate like every thing’s okay, like their world isn’t spinning out of control on its axis, like their just normal teenagers sneaking a few minutes together.
That’s something easy and simple to accomplish.