Restate of the Union
Well, tonight was the Super Bowl/Oscar Night of DC. There was the greeting/red carpet area of the Capitol, people were talking about who was doing what and someone even got arrested. Yes, this was the State of the Union. Just a few hours before, Sam Alito was confirmed as the 110th Justice of the Supreme Court, so he was there with most of the other justices, in nice seats down front. Some of the Joint Chiefs were there in their Class A's and rows and rows of salad bars. Oh, and the president was there, too.
Here's the transcript.
In MidnightRanter style, let's break this down a few paragraphs at a time. Okay, first paragraph: yo, what's up. Second paragraph: oh, Corretta Scott King died, and her husband was the man, we're sorry she's gone. Oh, and believe in God. Next two paragraphs: I love having two parties and seperate branches it's just so CUTE. Just so long as, you know, you always agree with me. Paragraph starting "In this decisive year": We're gonna get better by doing more stuff in the world away from the people who barely elected me. Next three paragraphs, we need to bring freedom to everyone because they like it and it's safer for us. And a couple isolated instances voting, sometimes under the umbrella of the American military, means that everyone everywhere loves voting. Paragraph starting with "Terrorists like Bin Laden": Oh, Bin Laden's out there and he BAAAAAAADD! He's a bad man, a bad man. Also, that marks the first time Bush called out bin Laden by name in a State of the Union speech. Paragraph starting "In a time of testing" and next three paragraphs: I'm not doing any less foreign policy stuff just because it's not working or anything like that.
Paragraph starting "And we are on the offensive in Iraq" and next five paragraphs: Iraq's getting better, I swear. See they had elections and everything, and we're training more troops of theirs, even if they mostly aren't trained seem to have problems with being infiltrated by people with other loyalties. Oh, and so long as you don't really want to make decisions about how to run the war, I love you Congress; don't you dare think about using your constitutional right to pull out the troops. Paragraph "Our men and women in uniform are making sacrifices" and next, I love our military, they kick ass, so if you hate me, you hate our military and you're just evil and unpatriotic, and probably a traitor. "Our offensive against terror" and next, we need democracy in the Middle East, and Hamas MUST act like a real government (no they don't, they were voted in, captain democracy). And he totally misread democratic steps in the Middle East. Saudi has done NOTHING to promote democracy, Egypt had a mostly sham election. Oh, Iran is evil, but we love the Iranians, especially, if you know, you guys decide to revolt against government. Paragraph "To overcome dangers" and next: Oh, we want to cure AIDS and some other good stuff, so have a carrot with the big stick. Even if we really haven't done much of that. Note, he forgets to mention debt forgiveness in Africa, which actually was good.
"Our country must also remain" and following two paragraphs: We need to fight terrorists and only I can save you. So let me listen in your phone calls, read your e-mails, in fact, just gimme all your civil rights just so I can protect you. If you oppose me, you want to kill Americans. Paragraph starting "Here at home" and next two: See, we're better than other countries, whom we need to deal with to stay rich. Oh, and people who just want to focus on America, stop it or your not thinking ahead. Paragraph "Tonight I will set" and next three 'graphs: Make the tax cut permanent if you want to stay on track for a good economy, otherwise, you're screwing over poor families, becuase as we all know, people who are middle class benefit from capital gains tax and estate tax cuts. [personally, I love these because, well, PapaRanter was both a rolling stone and rolling in it]. Paragraph starting "We also must confront" and next, "And the white line's getting longer and the saddle's getting cold, I'm much too young to feel this damn old" Can you PLEASE do something with Social Security, I asked so nice last time. No, huh? Okay.
Here's why I REALLY hate Bush, the next four paragraphs ALL start, "Keeping America competitive". The first one, I mean it, we need to let jobs go to India or we're not playing on the global market, and that affects all of us. Next one, we need to do something immigrants, but not too much, because we stil need dishes washed and lawns cut. Next graph, we need better health care, but we're not gonna do anything real, other than have electronic records for everyone, and we'll probably look in on those, too. Last "Keeping America competitive" paragraph and next two: yeah, we need to cut gas a little, probably not do it in any ways that would really hurt the bigger oil companies, but we need to stop giving money to the Middle East, even though I just called Saudi Arabia our great friend in democracy.
Paragraph starting "And to keep America competitive" and next four: well, no Child Left Behind didn't work out like it should, so I'm gonna propose more education incentives and bencharks, even though I just cut Pell Grants by 14 BILLION dollars. but, don't worry, we gonna give money to think tanks and oil companies to research oil alternatives (well, technically, they DO pump the most money into alternatives research). Oh, and to all the smart people out of work, congrats, you can now get underpaid as teachers. So jump on board, or you're unpatriotic. Paragraph starting "America is a great force" and next four: things are better since the kids are off th drugs and hve been declining since I got off drugs. Oh, and don't read anything into abortions declining since the Clinton administration, it's really my deal. Speaking of which, first two paragraphs starting "A hopeful society", I'd like to overturn abortion and stop stem cell research, and if you oppose this, you hate children. Next "A hopeful society" paragraph and following, umm, you guys in congress need to clean up your act since you can't get away with it like I can. Next damn "A hopeful society" paragraph, ok, everyone, take care of a kid since we love kids and, well, my wife is behind it and I wanna get some.
Next bloody "A hopeful society", umm, okay the Katrina clean up is going well, I swear. We pumped in billions of dollars, so it MUST be getting better, right? So bite me, Kanye West. Oh, and I want to take over traditionally locally run services like schooling and your decision making abilities. Last damn "A hopeful society" paragraph, we need to make more rhetoric about AIDS and I'm gonna invoke Ryan White for that nostalgia factor. Last three paragraphs, well, even if the crap I'm suggesting now doesn't make sense, we're doing it in the name of history and I need a damn legacy other than the Iraq war going so badly you'll long for Vietnam.
All in all, a pretty lackluster speech. It's the same arguments he makes the rest of the year, trust me with your civil rights so I can keep you safe. Which, when you approval and trust ratings are in the low 40s, no one is buying that anymore. There is MAYBE 50% approval for the NSA wiretap shit. Most people think the country is on the wrong track and Iraq is going really badly. There was nothing really to get behind if you weren't already 100% behind him. This not enough for those who are up for election to go back to their constituents and say "See, isn't this GREAT?" Santorum can really do nothing with this in Pennsylvania. Try telling an out of work call center person "Don't worry about your job going to India, we need to remain apart of the global economy". BTW, I'm counting on the people in PA who read this to do something about Santorum.
An update, Cindy Sheehan was detained, not arrested, by the Capitol Police for wearing a t-shirt into the House Gallery that said "Isn't 2245 enough?" referring to the number of American KIAs in Iraq. She was asked to remove the "disctracting display" which are verboten in the House Gallery, she did not and was detained for the whole speech. This will NOT be a good selling point for Lynn Woolsey (D-CA) of the House who invited Sheehan as a personal guest. The Democratic leadership, what there is of it, is gonna want answers a plenty. When you think the Democrats can't be more out of line or more disoganized, BAM, spice weasel. Seriously, you're not be taken seriously until you have your shit together in a real way.
So whie bush is floudnering with same old, same old, the Democrats seem to be helping they best way they know how, by screwing up more often than a man whore who likes to be on bottom.
So it is written, so do I see it.
Here's the transcript.
In MidnightRanter style, let's break this down a few paragraphs at a time. Okay, first paragraph: yo, what's up. Second paragraph: oh, Corretta Scott King died, and her husband was the man, we're sorry she's gone. Oh, and believe in God. Next two paragraphs: I love having two parties and seperate branches it's just so CUTE. Just so long as, you know, you always agree with me. Paragraph starting "In this decisive year": We're gonna get better by doing more stuff in the world away from the people who barely elected me. Next three paragraphs, we need to bring freedom to everyone because they like it and it's safer for us. And a couple isolated instances voting, sometimes under the umbrella of the American military, means that everyone everywhere loves voting. Paragraph starting with "Terrorists like Bin Laden": Oh, Bin Laden's out there and he BAAAAAAADD! He's a bad man, a bad man. Also, that marks the first time Bush called out bin Laden by name in a State of the Union speech. Paragraph starting "In a time of testing" and next three paragraphs: I'm not doing any less foreign policy stuff just because it's not working or anything like that.
Paragraph starting "And we are on the offensive in Iraq" and next five paragraphs: Iraq's getting better, I swear. See they had elections and everything, and we're training more troops of theirs, even if they mostly aren't trained seem to have problems with being infiltrated by people with other loyalties. Oh, and so long as you don't really want to make decisions about how to run the war, I love you Congress; don't you dare think about using your constitutional right to pull out the troops. Paragraph "Our men and women in uniform are making sacrifices" and next, I love our military, they kick ass, so if you hate me, you hate our military and you're just evil and unpatriotic, and probably a traitor. "Our offensive against terror" and next, we need democracy in the Middle East, and Hamas MUST act like a real government (no they don't, they were voted in, captain democracy). And he totally misread democratic steps in the Middle East. Saudi has done NOTHING to promote democracy, Egypt had a mostly sham election. Oh, Iran is evil, but we love the Iranians, especially, if you know, you guys decide to revolt against government. Paragraph "To overcome dangers" and next: Oh, we want to cure AIDS and some other good stuff, so have a carrot with the big stick. Even if we really haven't done much of that. Note, he forgets to mention debt forgiveness in Africa, which actually was good.
"Our country must also remain" and following two paragraphs: We need to fight terrorists and only I can save you. So let me listen in your phone calls, read your e-mails, in fact, just gimme all your civil rights just so I can protect you. If you oppose me, you want to kill Americans. Paragraph starting "Here at home" and next two: See, we're better than other countries, whom we need to deal with to stay rich. Oh, and people who just want to focus on America, stop it or your not thinking ahead. Paragraph "Tonight I will set" and next three 'graphs: Make the tax cut permanent if you want to stay on track for a good economy, otherwise, you're screwing over poor families, becuase as we all know, people who are middle class benefit from capital gains tax and estate tax cuts. [personally, I love these because, well, PapaRanter was both a rolling stone and rolling in it]. Paragraph starting "We also must confront" and next, "And the white line's getting longer and the saddle's getting cold, I'm much too young to feel this damn old" Can you PLEASE do something with Social Security, I asked so nice last time. No, huh? Okay.
Here's why I REALLY hate Bush, the next four paragraphs ALL start, "Keeping America competitive". The first one, I mean it, we need to let jobs go to India or we're not playing on the global market, and that affects all of us. Next one, we need to do something immigrants, but not too much, because we stil need dishes washed and lawns cut. Next graph, we need better health care, but we're not gonna do anything real, other than have electronic records for everyone, and we'll probably look in on those, too. Last "Keeping America competitive" paragraph and next two: yeah, we need to cut gas a little, probably not do it in any ways that would really hurt the bigger oil companies, but we need to stop giving money to the Middle East, even though I just called Saudi Arabia our great friend in democracy.
Paragraph starting "And to keep America competitive" and next four: well, no Child Left Behind didn't work out like it should, so I'm gonna propose more education incentives and bencharks, even though I just cut Pell Grants by 14 BILLION dollars. but, don't worry, we gonna give money to think tanks and oil companies to research oil alternatives (well, technically, they DO pump the most money into alternatives research). Oh, and to all the smart people out of work, congrats, you can now get underpaid as teachers. So jump on board, or you're unpatriotic. Paragraph starting "America is a great force" and next four: things are better since the kids are off th drugs and hve been declining since I got off drugs. Oh, and don't read anything into abortions declining since the Clinton administration, it's really my deal. Speaking of which, first two paragraphs starting "A hopeful society", I'd like to overturn abortion and stop stem cell research, and if you oppose this, you hate children. Next "A hopeful society" paragraph and following, umm, you guys in congress need to clean up your act since you can't get away with it like I can. Next damn "A hopeful society" paragraph, ok, everyone, take care of a kid since we love kids and, well, my wife is behind it and I wanna get some.
Next bloody "A hopeful society", umm, okay the Katrina clean up is going well, I swear. We pumped in billions of dollars, so it MUST be getting better, right? So bite me, Kanye West. Oh, and I want to take over traditionally locally run services like schooling and your decision making abilities. Last damn "A hopeful society" paragraph, we need to make more rhetoric about AIDS and I'm gonna invoke Ryan White for that nostalgia factor. Last three paragraphs, well, even if the crap I'm suggesting now doesn't make sense, we're doing it in the name of history and I need a damn legacy other than the Iraq war going so badly you'll long for Vietnam.
All in all, a pretty lackluster speech. It's the same arguments he makes the rest of the year, trust me with your civil rights so I can keep you safe. Which, when you approval and trust ratings are in the low 40s, no one is buying that anymore. There is MAYBE 50% approval for the NSA wiretap shit. Most people think the country is on the wrong track and Iraq is going really badly. There was nothing really to get behind if you weren't already 100% behind him. This not enough for those who are up for election to go back to their constituents and say "See, isn't this GREAT?" Santorum can really do nothing with this in Pennsylvania. Try telling an out of work call center person "Don't worry about your job going to India, we need to remain apart of the global economy". BTW, I'm counting on the people in PA who read this to do something about Santorum.
An update, Cindy Sheehan was detained, not arrested, by the Capitol Police for wearing a t-shirt into the House Gallery that said "Isn't 2245 enough?" referring to the number of American KIAs in Iraq. She was asked to remove the "disctracting display" which are verboten in the House Gallery, she did not and was detained for the whole speech. This will NOT be a good selling point for Lynn Woolsey (D-CA) of the House who invited Sheehan as a personal guest. The Democratic leadership, what there is of it, is gonna want answers a plenty. When you think the Democrats can't be more out of line or more disoganized, BAM, spice weasel. Seriously, you're not be taken seriously until you have your shit together in a real way.
So whie bush is floudnering with same old, same old, the Democrats seem to be helping they best way they know how, by screwing up more often than a man whore who likes to be on bottom.
So it is written, so do I see it.