title: the thin line (between right and wrong)
pairing: fernando verdasco/feliciano lopez (implied)
additional characters: david ferrer, nico almagro, marcel granollers, marc lopez
rating: pg
disclaimer: fiction
summary: everyone sees what feliciano cannot. olympic fic.
a/n: for
miss_black91. she wanted asshole feli because that's who he is (well right now away). mari is david marrero aka fernando's doubles partner.
He’s over the moon - over the fucking moon. For weeks now Feliciano has dreamed of this, of being a part of the Olympic Games, of walking to a stadium full of adoring fans while wearing the colours of his country proudly. And he feels like a kid in a candy store. He know some of his fellow countrymen (mostly the basketball and football players and of course the other tennis players) but he wants to meet everyone. David laughs at him when he tries to go greet the other tennis players from other countries while they are waiting to walk out.
“At least wait until the ceremony is over, Feli,” David says with a smirk on his face. Feliciano is all but bouncing right now.
“Can it finish now? I want to meet everyone!”
David laughs as he waves him over. “Let’s take a photo. Everyone, round up.”
So all the Spanish players huddle together except Fernando who kind of waits around in the back, not sure what he should do.
“Do you want me to take it?” Fernando asks, his shoulders slightly slumped but a small smile on his face.
Nico waves him over, smiling. “No no, you get in there. I’ll take it.” He squeezes Fernando’s shoulder as he walks over and takes David’s phone from him. “Get closer,” he says to the group.
They all wear the silly hats the Spanish Olympic committee decided on, all except Fernando who shuffles in next to David and settles his hat on his knee at the last minute. Nico takes the photo and hands back the phone to its owner.
“Fer, you didn’t wear the hat!” David pokes Fernando in the arm when he sees the photo. “We have to take it again.”
Fernando laughs, and though most don’t pick it up that it’s strained Feli does. But he forces himself not to look over.
“The hat messes up my hair. I’m not wearing it until it’s necessary.”
Nico makes fun of him a little but the group breaks up and Feliciano turns his attention to the display the London Olympic committee is putting on. He knows he has a huge smile on his lips right now. He just can’t help it.
Finally when it’s their time to walk out in front of thousands of fans in the stadium and millions at home, Feliciano fixes his hat nervously. Somebody bumps his shoulder and Feli scrambles to see who it is.
He can feel the vein in his neck jump when Fernando smiles at him shyly, whispering ‘lo siento’ so lowly Feliciano thinks he imagines it because Fernando moves away quickly and settles next to a girl he’s never seen before.
But he shakes it off and walks out with the rest of team when Spain’s turn is announced.
*
His eyes keep sliding over to the right, over to where his best friend is jumping up and down and waving his hat to the crowd like he can’t contain himself even if he tried or wanted to. Feliciano tells himself he’s just taking in the sights and sounds of what is an amazing ceremony and that the girl Fernando is walking with is pretty cute. Maybe he can help him get her number...
“Do you want me to take a picture of you two?” David asks from his other side and without turning to him Feliciano knows his smiling knowingly.
“No, no. That girl is pretty hot though. Maybe after?”
When David laughs, it sounds nothing but patronizing.
“I think you can quit being an asshole now.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Feliciano mutters, smiling and waving to the crowd.
“You know we shouldn’t be playing doubles together.”
“Can you just stop?”
David sidles up close and laughs in his ear. “Sure Feli. Whatever you want.”
Feliciano looks over again and this time Fernando has Nico next to him, making him laugh and smile so Feliciano decides he’s not going to feel guilty because there’s no need.
(Even if the knot in his stomach tells him otherwise.)
*
Feli ends up taking a photo with practically everyone, weaving in and out of the swimmers, divers, basketball player and footballers. He even manages to drag Marcel and David into a few more shots with him before they are able to beg him off. When the ceremony comes to an end however Feliciano is ready to continue the party somewhere else.
“Come on! The swimmer girls are in! It’ll be fun.”
The rest of them all but roll their eyes when they reach to the Spain House.
Fernando is the first to speak, a smile on his lips as usual. “I’m going to bed, match tomorrow. You guys have fun.”
Marcel pipes in too. “We have matches tomorrow, Feli. You should get to bed too.”
“Nonsense. This is London - London - we can’t go to sleep just yet!”
Fernando, Marcel and Marc all shrug and turn to head to their rooms, Nico in tow as well.
“Fer’s got a point, Feli. Our first match tomorrow. We don’t want to get kicked out so early, now do we?” David asks with a patronizing smile.
“You all are so boring,” Feliciano grumbles but he too follows suit and heads to his room.
*
After winning their first round match, David and Feliciano stick around to watch Marcel’s and Marc’s and console them when the favourites to win a medal in the men’s double were ousted far too early for their liking. They all head back together, the mood lighter than it was back at the arena.
When they get back however the atmosphere shifts again when they come upon Fernando who looks defeated in every sense of the word though Nico is doing his best to comfort him. Their voices are hushed and quickly fall silent when they see the others have arrived.
“Hey,” Fernando says solemnly though he puts on a smile. “I was waiting for you guys to get back... so I can say bye.”
“You’re leaving so soon, Fer?” David asks, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Yeah,” he responds softly, his eyes dropping to the floor. “I thought I’d get back home and rest as much as possible.”
No one has much to say to that so one by one they give him a hug goodbye and wish him well. Feli puts out his hand and they shake hands but when Fernando pulls him in for a hug - just a quick press of bodies before he pulls away - Feliciano freezes up. He knows he should say something, knows he has to say something but then Fernando moves away too quickly and hugs Nico who hangs on for moment longer than anyone else, whispering something in Fernando’s ear that makes him laugh.
Feliciano’s not jealous. After all, he’s the one still competing.
*
“You know you should have said bye to him.”
Feliciano looks up from his phone, sitting on his bed wasting time before going to bed. He looks at Nico confused, not too sure what he’s on about.
“What?”
“Fernando. You should have said goodbye to him.”
Feliciano shrugs before averting his eyes back to his phone. “I did.”
“You know what I mean, Feli,” Nico says before he sighs. “He’s not well.”
That catches his attention. Feliciano whips his eyes back up, worry tinged in them. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s been playing with a bad wrist and knee for some time now. Mari told me the other night to make sure Fer treats it and takes care but he told me himself today that it’s never felt as bad as it did today. And...” Nico trails off though his eyes narrow.
“And what?”
“You need to deal with your shit with him, Feli. I don’t care what it is anymore, just deal with it. Make it better... I don’t know. Just make it get better.”
Feli opens his mouth before he closes it quickly, not sure how to respond. After a moment he tries again but his voice is much quieter than before. “It’s been dealt with.”
Nico snorts at that. “We’re not blind, Feli. No one will say anything because it’s you and Fernando. Not even David or Rafa will say anything but it’s not good for him...And deep down you know it’s not good for you either.”
When Feliciano doesn’t reply Nico turns to leave and right before he exits he says one last thing. “Just remember - he was your friend first.”
And when Feliciano can’t seem to fall asleep that night, he prays to the rain gods to let it pour over London tomorrow.
*
It’s not that Nico glares at him or even says anything further on the subject to him (because he doesn’t) but Feliciano finds himself uncomfortable around him now. There’s an air of disappointment whenever Nico’s around and Feli just doesn’t like it one bit.
“You know what you have to do, right?”
Feliciano looks up from his food. “What?”
“Talk to Fernando.”
Feliciano sighs in to his bowl. “How is that going to help me with Nico?”
“Then Nico will stop doing whatever it is you find annoying. You know he talks to Fernando like everyday now?”
“Seriously?”
David nods. “Yeah. Nico’s says Fer opened up to him after he lost... Which was where you fucked up by the way.”
Feliciano looks offended, wounded really. “What? How did I fuck up?”
“You know this was the one thing he wanted, to play well at the Olympics. He could lose every other tournament as long as he played well here. You could have been the friend you used to be to him and comforted him or something.”
“You don’t know shit, Ferru.”
“Maybe I don’t,” David shrugs, “And really, I don’t care but if this was a different time, you would have been the first person to see him after he lost and most likely the reason why he’d still be here enjoying the Olympics.”
Feliciano doesn’t say a thing because he can’t. He won’t tell David how true his words are because to do that is to admit he’s fucked up, that he’s been fucking up. They both have but Feliciano’s had his opportunity to turn it all around.
When David leaves him sitting alone in the cafeteria, squeezing his shoulder before walking away, Feliciano knows there’s some kind of lesson to be learned from all this, that the first thing he should do now is pick up his phone and call the one person in Madrid who’s dying to hear from him.
Yet when he lifts his phone, instead of making that call he uploads a photo to instagram. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing the right thing.