Never got the chance
Title: Never got the chance
Pairing: all im saying is Sungmin is the main! Try to guess the pairing
Rating: Not sure yet but ill NC17 to be safe
Summery: I believed that everyone had a weakness. Some weaknesses are obvious, like disabilities. Some are hidden, not to be seen, heard, or ever known. Sometimes these weaknesses are not even known by the one that posses them. Well that is until someone comes along and makes them known. They watch you, find your weakness, and use it to hurt you.
I promised myself that I would never be one of those people. I would not have a weakness, something or someone to hold me down. I didn’t need it. I would never become so attached to someone.
I believed I had no weaknesses. I was strong. I was invincible.
I was stupid. So very stupid.
I never got the change to tell you…..
For being my strength
When I was weary
And for always being by my side
Why?
Why did you come looking for me? If you had stayed home, would you have been safe? Would they have found you? If I had kept my promise to be home early, would your eyes be open and smiling?
‘Hey Baby, It’s our anniversary.
I love You’
I finally say this now
Thank you
And because of you
I’m happy
This is for you
Remember when we met?
I was sitting in the park, it was raining, I was holding my bleeding side, trying to stay conscious. You were on your way home from one of your many jobs (I later made you quit all of them, I wanted to protect you, take care of you). You saw me, You were concerned, Despite how tired you were, you came over, kneeled before me and ask if I was ok, if I needed help. I just stared. You took me to your home, you didn’t ask questions. For some reason, I wish you would have. Maybe you would have been scared of me, left me. Maybe then this would have ended differently.
I remember waking up alone in your bed. You were no where to be found so I got up and walked down the hall. I neared the kitchen and heard upbeat music and smelled mouth watering aroma of food.
When I walked in, you were singing, dancing, with the broom. I couldn’t help but smile. You were beautiful. When you noticed me, you straightened yourself and blushed cherry red.
‘No don’t stop.
You were so carefree.
So carefree.
So different from now; your pale skin, shallow breathing, tubes all over you…
Before my tears try
They had to spill that day
You held my hand in the dark
Without a word, you watched over me
Thank you
When my brother died that day, I broke down. I had a single moment of weakness. You were scared, worried.
‘I told you it was an accident,
I’m sorry I lied to you…’
I thought you would pity me, leave me, think I was weak. But I was wrong.
‘Sorry I thought so low of you’
The entire night you held me tight and let me cry on your shoulder. No one has ever let me do that before, I wasn’t allowed to show weakness in my ‘Business’.
‘I told you I was a cop…
You believed me.
You were too naïve.
But I was the one that lied to you.
You’re here because of me.
You must have had a harder time than I did
You must have worried more than I did
I often came home from work and found you asleep on the floor by the door. You were waiting for me, You fell asleep worried, biting your nails.
Remember the time you caught a cold because of it?
“I’m fine Baby! Really!”
That’s what you had said. You landed yourself in bed for a week with a very high fever.
I was worried
‘You made me soft, weak’
I remember I came home from work early on your birthday last year. You took one look at me and complained that I was too thin, too pale!
‘You were the tired one,
The worried one’
You made me eat an entire feast before you let me even hug you, kiss you.
‘I love you’
Because of you I was able to stand
It’s a thankful heart
You tried to help me as much as you could. You made sure I ate, I slept, and rested when I was sick.
‘I never realized how much you took care of me’
You always called just to say hello, to see how I was doing. I don’t think I ever told you how much those seemingly stupid, meaningless calls kept me going, kept me alive.
‘I waited for your call (your voice).
Every minute, second, I waited.’
There was so much you wanted to give me
You struggled with the fact that you couldn’t
Trust me, grab my hand
If with you
I feel like anything can be done, forever
Before my tears try
They had to spill that day
You were always there, always waiting,
Comforting,
Loving me…
It’s was my turn to care for you but I screwed up. I broke my own promise.
‘I didn’t protect you’
You held my hand in the dark
Without a word, you watched over me
They tried to take you away from me. They were angry, furious.
‘I don’t know how but they found you’
They wanted revenge.
‘They succeeded’
This was the lowest blow.
‘They tried to take away the most important thing away from me,
My life line…’
I won’t have a hard time anymore
Even if times get rough, I have you
Without having to say a word
It’s like you knew.
‘ you asked me to stay’
You hugged me tightly, I kissed your forehead. You were hesitant to let me go, scared.
“call me whenever you can? Please.”
‘were those tears?’
I should have looked back…Then I would have seen the unexplainable tears, sad expression.
Like a goodbye…
If I would have known, I would have stayed.
‘I should have been there’
I was very late that night, you were worried.
I heard that you were going to go to my office and make sure I was ok.
‘I never had an office, I lied’
I heard you left the house, got in the car and went to find me.
There’s someone like you who already knows it all
I’m happy
They ran into the driver’s side of your car.
‘How come they were able to walk away,
Flee from the scene of the crime,
while you’re here?’
Your car spun, hit three cars, and then ran head first into the brick wall.
‘Smashed’
It took them two hours to get you out of the twisted metal.
They told me they didn’t know if you would live
‘I almost killed the doctor’
They told me you wouldn’t let go of our necklace and you called my name throughout the entire surgery….
You were always there to keep me steady,
Alive
And the one time you needed me,
I wasn’t there.
You should wake up and scold me, yell at me, tell me it’s my fault.
Wake up from this death sleep….
I can’t survive
With out you
(My pillar of strength)
I need you.
I love you.
I never got to tell you, I need to tell you…
Thank you.
This is my story, our story. Maybe we start from the beginning, before I met you, before I ruined your innocence and took you away from your loving family. Before you saved me, changed me, made me care.
Tell me what you think! This is my first Super Junior fic and I want to know if I should continue to write it or leave it as a one hit wonder!! :) And this wont post to miracle! it says its too long and i tried cutting it in half but it was STILL too long. I cant cut it anymore then that........can anyone help me out a little!?! :)