(no subject)
Dear Preguage,
Your pissing has gone too far. Whenever I happen to be unfortunate enough to accidentally sit down in a spot that you've recently tagged, I feel this nearly uncontrollable urge to chop off your yellow balls my fucking self. Friends don't piss on friends' seats. If you haven't noticed, I don't go using your litter box or "tagging" your favorite chair, I don't even sit in your chair. I sincerely hope that you take this letter as a kind gesture as opposed to what I would like to do. No more pissing. Just stop.
Dan Adam
p.s. You lazy shit, you could have easily walked the three steps to eat your own food. Fuckface.