(no subject)
I miss Grandpa. And I can't call him to tell him that. Some days I ignore it and act like it doesn't get to me, other days I just bawl out of the blue for seemingly no reason. The last few days have been really hard, I didn't ever spend Thanksgiving with them that I could think of. We visited more for Christmas or out of the blue. But I couldn't call him. And I felt so much for Grandma. I'm so worried about her. They were married for something around 65 years. I've only been with D for 2 1/2 years but if he died I would stop eating, stop going to work, stop existing. I might not even leave the house to get food for the cats, I would order on amazon until I ran out of money so they didn't starve. I can't imagine what she is feeling. By then the person is literally an extension of you, a huge chunk of your body is now dead. And I was always closer to Grandpa then I was to Grandma, for 3 reasons I think. 1) Grandpa hogged the phone and loved to talk, hahaha. 2) Grandma is very very hard of hearing, has been for years, so she's never wanted to stay on the phone long. And 3) he and I were kindred spirits. I miss him.