Office Fic - Kelly Who?
Yay, a non-SNL fic! Anyway, I love Ryan Howard a lot (and wish he had more to do in The Office), so I figured I'd give myself a chance to write as him. Set around Season 3's finale. I hope I do this well :) Also, I have a few VERY obvious SNL references...
Title - Kelly Who?
Author - me
Pairing - Um, none yet.
Rating - PG13 b/c Kaitlyn Howard likes to party.
Summary - Ryan and Kaitlyn Howard leave Scranton for corporate headquarters in New York, and he is more than ready to make changes. Including getting rid of one Kelly Kapoor for good.
Disclaimer - I don't own anything, sadly. Also, I will be switching POV's once I introduce my main OFC that isn't Kaitlyn.
Ryan
“You and I are done.”
The best words I had ever said to Kelly. It was probably for the best that I didn't see the look on her face. I might have cared a little if I had seen how hurt she was. Or maybe not. More like the latter. She was hopelessly in love with me, which would've been fine if I had felt the same about her. But I didn't. How could I love someone so clingy? Besides, I wasn't into the whole idea of romance and long-term commitment. Kelly, on the other hand...she wanted to drag me down the aisle and have babies ASAP. That wasn't part of my plan at all. So yeah, it was the best thing for both of us. I was sure that she'd find another boyfriend pretty quickly. That's just how she was. I had more important things to think about. Like my future, which had just become a lot brighter.
I stood in my Scranton home and looked around. It was okay as far as homes went. Nothing special, kind of like how I felt when I was a temp. I had been, for lack of a better term, Michael's servant. If he had needed some menial task done, he had called on me. I had done everything from cleaning out his car to going to some gas station in the middle of nowhere to get pudding that was sold in Scranton. Nobody really noticed me, except for Kelly. Even then, Jim had set us up. I didn't even want to think about my foray into sales. My trip with Dwight had been a fiasco from the moment he told me to plant that beet seed, and Stanley had humiliated me...after I had humiliated myself.
Now, I was about to head to New York. Corporate. They had called me to take Jan's place after she was fired because of her behavior instead of hiring Jim or Karen. Jan had been pretty erratic the last time I'd seen her, but whatever. It didn't matter. She was gone, and I got her job, just as I had gotten Jim's job when he transferred to Stamford. My business degree was finally coming in handy. It had gotten me the corporate job. I was on my way to my dream of owning my own business. And Michael had said it was ridiculous...well, I was his boss now. I had my plans for Dunder-Mifflin Scranton. They were very behind when it came to technology, and that was unacceptable. As soon as I got there, I was going to make changes. People weren't going to like it, but that was too bad. I was in charge now. Well, my sister and I were. I kind of forgot about her. Kaitlyn Brianna Howard. My twin and the person I shared my title with. That was always the case, but it was okay. Better her than Kelly.
“Ready?” she asked as she flipped her black hair behind her shoulder. I hated that habit. It reminded me of something Kelly would do if she had long hair.
“Yeah, sure. Let's go,” I said as I picked up my bags and followed her.
Kaitlyn packed our bags neatly into the trunk of her...our blue car. She slammed the trunk, tossed me the keys, and got in the passenger seat. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to drive. She just assumed I would. Typical older sister. I started the engine, pulled out of the driveway, and headed towards New York.
“Goodbye, Scranton!” Kaitlyn yelled out the window.
I wanted to yell it as well, but I kept my feelings to myself. That was the difference between us. She was so...expressive, but I refused to wear my heart on my sleeve. Why let other people see my feelings? Other people didn't matter when it came down to it. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out. A text from Kelly. I deleted it without even bothering to read it. She was in the past, and I had no intention of going back to her.
“Come on, Ryan. Smile or something. I mean, you're getting out of Scranton. You're finally making a name for yourself,” she said.
“Yeah, I know,” I answered.
I smiled at her, one of those subtle ones that was nearly impossible to notice. She rolled her eyes at me and drifted off into her thoughts, leaving me with mine. I had to admit it, I was excited. Scranton was nothing...New York, it was everything. I turned on the radio, and some pop song was on. It was better than nothing, so I used it as background noise since Kaitlyn obviously wasn't going to talk to me. I had to wonder how she managed to get the corporate job with me. I had the MBA, she had...well, the one thing I didn't. Excellent sales numbers. I didn't understand it. Sales had come so easily for her, yet they were my one shortcoming. She couldn't have been more charismatic than me, nor was she more confident. Wait, that was it. Confidence. Kaitlyn had come across as in control, sure of herself. I, on the other hand...well, I the only thing I had managed to say when I went with Stanley was “hi.” Over and over again. I pushed that memory to the back of my mind and focused on driving as Kaitlyn swayed in time to the music.
My relationship with Kaitlyn was pretty good for the most part. I mean, we didn't have any major arguments, and we got along decently. I was fairly certain that she was one of my few friends back in Scranton. We were rarely seperate, and she had begged to be moved to the annex or at least closer to it when I moved there. It had made the long hours listening to Kelly's incessant phone chatter more bearable, if that was possible. When things were particularly annoying (that seemed to be an everyday thing, now that I thought about it), we had come up with several ideas to get rid of Kelly. More than one of them involved superglue or staples. Michael often replaced Kelly in our plans...or Dwight...but more often than not, Kelly. What was I thinking when I let Jim hook us up?
“I already kinda miss Andy,” Kaitlyn said absently.
“Nothing ever happened between you two,” I said. I hated when she brought up her nowhere-near-relationship with Andy Bernard, a transfer salesman from Stamford with obvious anger management issues.
“It could have. I mean, it was pretty obvious that we were compatible, and it would've been cute. Admit it, Ryan!”
“Please, stop. You're starting to sound like Kelly.”
Kaitlyn laughed and said, “No, if I were sounding like Kelly, I would be talking at some inhuman speed, and my voice would be about two octaves higher, not to mention every other word would be 'like' or 'totally.' Like this.”
Kaitlyn repeated her statement about Andy with her best Kelly impression, and that got a laugh out of me. She returned to her normal speaking voice and tried to make small talk as we headed ever closer to New York.
“Okay, so what are you most looking forward to?”
“About what?”
“New York. Corporate. For me, it's, um, just seeing the city. Maybe getting to see Saturday Night Live in person. That'd be beyond awesome.”
“The one thing you picked up from Michael has nothing to do with business. Why am I not surprised?” I replied.
“Because Michael has nothing to do with business. God, the one thing I'm not going to miss is having him stare at me...that was just creepy...” Kaitlyn said with a shiver.
“I was hoping you wouldn't remind me of that,” I spat.
“Sorry! God, Ryan. You're so damn touchy...” she sulked.
“You try having him give you Hottest in the Office and say that he would have sex with you! Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?”
“He tried to hook up with me, remember? That time he got really drunk after work. I'm pretty sure he kissed me...you have no idea...oh wait, I'm not the only one in this family with drunk-kissing experience!”
“Oh, my God. Please do not bring up the first time I kissed Kelly!” I said, feeling my temper rise. She was good at that.
“I'm just saying, Ryan. If you hadn't done that, then you wouldn't be in the situation you're in. I mean, you were just looking for an excuse to break up with her, weren't you?”
“Can we not talk about Kelly?!” I said angrily.
“Fine!” she spat. “I'm sorry you can't handle me telling you the truth! That's always been your problem. You can't handle when people point out your shortcomings. That's why you sucked at sales.”
“At least I don't have a nervous breakdown when faced with the possiblity of failure,” I muttered.
“Don't ever bring that up,” Kaitlyn said, voice icy and blue eyes steeled with fury. “You know, I think it's best if we just didn't talk.”
“Fine by me.”
I looked down at the steering wheel. My knuckles were white from gripping it so tightly. I looked straight ahead, ignoring my peripheral vision so I wouldn't have to look at my sister. I loved her and all, but she could be so...ugh, I didn't know what the word was. All I knew was that we had a very long car ride ahead of us. Pennsylvania became New Jersey, and Kaitlyn was still mad. The fight was her fault, so her anger was showing her immaturity. She just had to bring up Michael's creepy obsession with me and my first drunken kiss with Kelly. If she hadn't done that, then we would be perfectly fine. But no, she had to go there to try and get the upper hand. I wasn't going to apologize. It was her responsibility, not mine. If I knew her well enough, she'd apologize just because we shared a title and she knew that we needed to get along. I gave it five minutes. She looked out the window and chewed on her lower lip. She jiggled her foot and drummed on the side of the door. Classic restless Kaitlyn. It was a matter of time. Three...two...
“Damn it, Ryan!” she said, and I smirked to myself. “I'm sorry, okay?”
“Apology accepted,” I answered...scarily, I reminded myself of Dwight.
Kaitlyn nodded with satisfaction, and we continued the drive. It wasn't a bad trip. I mean, there were some landscapes that were sort of nice, if one was into that sort of thing. I didn't really care. Land was land, no matter how it looked. I drove on, half-ignoring Kaitlyn's high-pitched singing. I had to give her this, she had a decent voice. Not the best, but it was probably better than Kelly's.
“New York!” Kaitlyn gasped as her eyes grew.
I didn't understand her wonder. New York was just a state, just like Pennsylvania. Sure, the city was impressive, but...okay, I had to admit that the city impressed me. This was where I belonged. Not some one-horse town like Scranton. I began to scope out the city as we looked for our apartment. The nightlife was bound to be incredible, and the girls were bound to be incredibly hot...and willing once I told them that I had power. I couldn't wait.
“That's it!”
Kaitlyn pointed at a building, and I immediately recognized it. Our apartment. It was in a decent part of town. I had insisted. No way were we living in some slum when we were on our way up in the world. I parked the car and gave the keys to my sister. Surprisingly, she helped me get the bags out of the trunk, and she even carried hers inside. It was a pretty nice apartment. Two bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, the usual. Very modernly decorated.
“So, what do you wanna do first?” she said as she neatly arranged her stuff.
“I thought we could go over to the office and see what it's like,” I answered. “You know, get a head start.”
“Ugh, Ryan. Loosen up. It's your first night in New York, and you want to work. Let's go out.”
“Kaitlyn, you don't get it. We have to get started if we want to accomplish our goals...and that includes completely overhauling the Scranton branch. You know as well as I do that Scranton is completely behind when it comes to technology. They're going to collapse if that doesn't change.”
“That's not going to happen in one night. You'll be okay going out.”
“Fine.”
My sister gave a satisfied smile as she grabbed her black bag and headed out the door. I followed her outside, and the city lights dazzled her. As we walked down the streets, she consulted the list of things she absolutely had to do in New York. One of her friends had hastily scribbled “find a way to legally stalk Seth Meyers” in one corner. Leave it to my sister's friends to do something like that.
“Okay, so we have to go to all of these clubs at some point...which one sounds good to you?” she asked. “Ryan?”
“That one sounds good,” I said as I pointed at one random name.
“Push? I don't know, my friend gave me that one and he's a little...um, out there. I don't know if I trust him when it comes to this.”
“You're in New York. Take advantage of it.”
“Okay, fine. We're going to Push,” Kaitlyn said. “Ugh, why do I want to say 'that's what she said?'”
Kaitlyn and I somehow made our way to Push, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was nervous. I couldn't blame her. The club looked like a place for freaks, not two young CFOs on their first night in the city. We went inside...and it was crazy. Kinda like a coked-out gay candyland once I thought about it. We stayed, anyway. I mean, it was good for us. We had to learn what sort of people to avoid...and these freaks definitely fit the category. I saw people doing things I hadn't even dreamed of, and I had some pretty big dreams. Kaitlyn seemed to enjoy it, but then she got something good out of almost every experience. That was my sister, the eternal optimist. It was sickening at times, but I put up with it. Whatever.
Four Hours Later
“Aw, Ryan, you're so lame,” Kaitlyn slurred as I did the responsible thing (me, responsible?) and drug her drunk self out of Push.
“We need to get home. We have to be at work tomorrow, remember?” I said.
“You're so stupid. And short. Haha, Ryan's short! Come on, just let me go back to my friends...shorty...”
I glared at her and supported her as we went back to our apartment. Kaitlyn apparently thought it was funny to yell profanities at random people as we, well I, made our way back. Every time she did it, she fell into a fit of drunken giggles while I just looked down, embarrassed. If I had a dollar for every time I had to apologize for her, I would've been able to buy my own business. Not a bad idea. Either way, Kaitlyn was never going back to Push. Ever.
“We're here, thank God,” I said as she fell onto the bed and passed out. “Yeah, probably the best for you.”
I picked up my phone and saw that I had texts from Kelly. I read them, and they were a combination of her saying that she was going to hate me for the rest of my life and begging me to call her and apologize so we could get back together. I wasn't going to text her back. If she called, I'd just say that my phone didn't get texts anymore. I could've told the truth and say that I didn't hear it go off, but she wouldn't have believed me anyway. That was what I hated about Kelly. She was so desperately clingy, yet she obviously had trust issues. That, and she was probably just a little psychotic and needed some sort of medication for it. Okay, so that was an exaggeration...but it felt like that sometimes. One minute she was proclaiming her undying love for me, the next she was yelling at me for some tiny little thing like not calling her back, forgetting that we had a date, or something like that. Why did those sorts of things matter anyway? She should've been thrilled to just be my girlfriend. That's how most girls were at least. They were cool just letting me do seperate things and have my own life. Not Kelly. She thought being my girlfriend meant being attached to my hip, and I hated it. She wasn't part of my life anymore, though. I stood and got ready for bed to the sounds of my sister's ever-so-unpleasant snores. I just hoped that she would be able to get up in the morning...it was the beginning of a new era for Dunder-Mifflin.
Okay, that sounded really stupid. But it was the truth.
Title - Kelly Who?
Author - me
Pairing - Um, none yet.
Rating - PG13 b/c Kaitlyn Howard likes to party.
Summary - Ryan and Kaitlyn Howard leave Scranton for corporate headquarters in New York, and he is more than ready to make changes. Including getting rid of one Kelly Kapoor for good.
Disclaimer - I don't own anything, sadly. Also, I will be switching POV's once I introduce my main OFC that isn't Kaitlyn.
Ryan
“You and I are done.”
The best words I had ever said to Kelly. It was probably for the best that I didn't see the look on her face. I might have cared a little if I had seen how hurt she was. Or maybe not. More like the latter. She was hopelessly in love with me, which would've been fine if I had felt the same about her. But I didn't. How could I love someone so clingy? Besides, I wasn't into the whole idea of romance and long-term commitment. Kelly, on the other hand...she wanted to drag me down the aisle and have babies ASAP. That wasn't part of my plan at all. So yeah, it was the best thing for both of us. I was sure that she'd find another boyfriend pretty quickly. That's just how she was. I had more important things to think about. Like my future, which had just become a lot brighter.
I stood in my Scranton home and looked around. It was okay as far as homes went. Nothing special, kind of like how I felt when I was a temp. I had been, for lack of a better term, Michael's servant. If he had needed some menial task done, he had called on me. I had done everything from cleaning out his car to going to some gas station in the middle of nowhere to get pudding that was sold in Scranton. Nobody really noticed me, except for Kelly. Even then, Jim had set us up. I didn't even want to think about my foray into sales. My trip with Dwight had been a fiasco from the moment he told me to plant that beet seed, and Stanley had humiliated me...after I had humiliated myself.
Now, I was about to head to New York. Corporate. They had called me to take Jan's place after she was fired because of her behavior instead of hiring Jim or Karen. Jan had been pretty erratic the last time I'd seen her, but whatever. It didn't matter. She was gone, and I got her job, just as I had gotten Jim's job when he transferred to Stamford. My business degree was finally coming in handy. It had gotten me the corporate job. I was on my way to my dream of owning my own business. And Michael had said it was ridiculous...well, I was his boss now. I had my plans for Dunder-Mifflin Scranton. They were very behind when it came to technology, and that was unacceptable. As soon as I got there, I was going to make changes. People weren't going to like it, but that was too bad. I was in charge now. Well, my sister and I were. I kind of forgot about her. Kaitlyn Brianna Howard. My twin and the person I shared my title with. That was always the case, but it was okay. Better her than Kelly.
“Ready?” she asked as she flipped her black hair behind her shoulder. I hated that habit. It reminded me of something Kelly would do if she had long hair.
“Yeah, sure. Let's go,” I said as I picked up my bags and followed her.
Kaitlyn packed our bags neatly into the trunk of her...our blue car. She slammed the trunk, tossed me the keys, and got in the passenger seat. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to drive. She just assumed I would. Typical older sister. I started the engine, pulled out of the driveway, and headed towards New York.
“Goodbye, Scranton!” Kaitlyn yelled out the window.
I wanted to yell it as well, but I kept my feelings to myself. That was the difference between us. She was so...expressive, but I refused to wear my heart on my sleeve. Why let other people see my feelings? Other people didn't matter when it came down to it. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out. A text from Kelly. I deleted it without even bothering to read it. She was in the past, and I had no intention of going back to her.
“Come on, Ryan. Smile or something. I mean, you're getting out of Scranton. You're finally making a name for yourself,” she said.
“Yeah, I know,” I answered.
I smiled at her, one of those subtle ones that was nearly impossible to notice. She rolled her eyes at me and drifted off into her thoughts, leaving me with mine. I had to admit it, I was excited. Scranton was nothing...New York, it was everything. I turned on the radio, and some pop song was on. It was better than nothing, so I used it as background noise since Kaitlyn obviously wasn't going to talk to me. I had to wonder how she managed to get the corporate job with me. I had the MBA, she had...well, the one thing I didn't. Excellent sales numbers. I didn't understand it. Sales had come so easily for her, yet they were my one shortcoming. She couldn't have been more charismatic than me, nor was she more confident. Wait, that was it. Confidence. Kaitlyn had come across as in control, sure of herself. I, on the other hand...well, I the only thing I had managed to say when I went with Stanley was “hi.” Over and over again. I pushed that memory to the back of my mind and focused on driving as Kaitlyn swayed in time to the music.
My relationship with Kaitlyn was pretty good for the most part. I mean, we didn't have any major arguments, and we got along decently. I was fairly certain that she was one of my few friends back in Scranton. We were rarely seperate, and she had begged to be moved to the annex or at least closer to it when I moved there. It had made the long hours listening to Kelly's incessant phone chatter more bearable, if that was possible. When things were particularly annoying (that seemed to be an everyday thing, now that I thought about it), we had come up with several ideas to get rid of Kelly. More than one of them involved superglue or staples. Michael often replaced Kelly in our plans...or Dwight...but more often than not, Kelly. What was I thinking when I let Jim hook us up?
“I already kinda miss Andy,” Kaitlyn said absently.
“Nothing ever happened between you two,” I said. I hated when she brought up her nowhere-near-relationship with Andy Bernard, a transfer salesman from Stamford with obvious anger management issues.
“It could have. I mean, it was pretty obvious that we were compatible, and it would've been cute. Admit it, Ryan!”
“Please, stop. You're starting to sound like Kelly.”
Kaitlyn laughed and said, “No, if I were sounding like Kelly, I would be talking at some inhuman speed, and my voice would be about two octaves higher, not to mention every other word would be 'like' or 'totally.' Like this.”
Kaitlyn repeated her statement about Andy with her best Kelly impression, and that got a laugh out of me. She returned to her normal speaking voice and tried to make small talk as we headed ever closer to New York.
“Okay, so what are you most looking forward to?”
“About what?”
“New York. Corporate. For me, it's, um, just seeing the city. Maybe getting to see Saturday Night Live in person. That'd be beyond awesome.”
“The one thing you picked up from Michael has nothing to do with business. Why am I not surprised?” I replied.
“Because Michael has nothing to do with business. God, the one thing I'm not going to miss is having him stare at me...that was just creepy...” Kaitlyn said with a shiver.
“I was hoping you wouldn't remind me of that,” I spat.
“Sorry! God, Ryan. You're so damn touchy...” she sulked.
“You try having him give you Hottest in the Office and say that he would have sex with you! Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?”
“He tried to hook up with me, remember? That time he got really drunk after work. I'm pretty sure he kissed me...you have no idea...oh wait, I'm not the only one in this family with drunk-kissing experience!”
“Oh, my God. Please do not bring up the first time I kissed Kelly!” I said, feeling my temper rise. She was good at that.
“I'm just saying, Ryan. If you hadn't done that, then you wouldn't be in the situation you're in. I mean, you were just looking for an excuse to break up with her, weren't you?”
“Can we not talk about Kelly?!” I said angrily.
“Fine!” she spat. “I'm sorry you can't handle me telling you the truth! That's always been your problem. You can't handle when people point out your shortcomings. That's why you sucked at sales.”
“At least I don't have a nervous breakdown when faced with the possiblity of failure,” I muttered.
“Don't ever bring that up,” Kaitlyn said, voice icy and blue eyes steeled with fury. “You know, I think it's best if we just didn't talk.”
“Fine by me.”
I looked down at the steering wheel. My knuckles were white from gripping it so tightly. I looked straight ahead, ignoring my peripheral vision so I wouldn't have to look at my sister. I loved her and all, but she could be so...ugh, I didn't know what the word was. All I knew was that we had a very long car ride ahead of us. Pennsylvania became New Jersey, and Kaitlyn was still mad. The fight was her fault, so her anger was showing her immaturity. She just had to bring up Michael's creepy obsession with me and my first drunken kiss with Kelly. If she hadn't done that, then we would be perfectly fine. But no, she had to go there to try and get the upper hand. I wasn't going to apologize. It was her responsibility, not mine. If I knew her well enough, she'd apologize just because we shared a title and she knew that we needed to get along. I gave it five minutes. She looked out the window and chewed on her lower lip. She jiggled her foot and drummed on the side of the door. Classic restless Kaitlyn. It was a matter of time. Three...two...
“Damn it, Ryan!” she said, and I smirked to myself. “I'm sorry, okay?”
“Apology accepted,” I answered...scarily, I reminded myself of Dwight.
Kaitlyn nodded with satisfaction, and we continued the drive. It wasn't a bad trip. I mean, there were some landscapes that were sort of nice, if one was into that sort of thing. I didn't really care. Land was land, no matter how it looked. I drove on, half-ignoring Kaitlyn's high-pitched singing. I had to give her this, she had a decent voice. Not the best, but it was probably better than Kelly's.
“New York!” Kaitlyn gasped as her eyes grew.
I didn't understand her wonder. New York was just a state, just like Pennsylvania. Sure, the city was impressive, but...okay, I had to admit that the city impressed me. This was where I belonged. Not some one-horse town like Scranton. I began to scope out the city as we looked for our apartment. The nightlife was bound to be incredible, and the girls were bound to be incredibly hot...and willing once I told them that I had power. I couldn't wait.
“That's it!”
Kaitlyn pointed at a building, and I immediately recognized it. Our apartment. It was in a decent part of town. I had insisted. No way were we living in some slum when we were on our way up in the world. I parked the car and gave the keys to my sister. Surprisingly, she helped me get the bags out of the trunk, and she even carried hers inside. It was a pretty nice apartment. Two bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, the usual. Very modernly decorated.
“So, what do you wanna do first?” she said as she neatly arranged her stuff.
“I thought we could go over to the office and see what it's like,” I answered. “You know, get a head start.”
“Ugh, Ryan. Loosen up. It's your first night in New York, and you want to work. Let's go out.”
“Kaitlyn, you don't get it. We have to get started if we want to accomplish our goals...and that includes completely overhauling the Scranton branch. You know as well as I do that Scranton is completely behind when it comes to technology. They're going to collapse if that doesn't change.”
“That's not going to happen in one night. You'll be okay going out.”
“Fine.”
My sister gave a satisfied smile as she grabbed her black bag and headed out the door. I followed her outside, and the city lights dazzled her. As we walked down the streets, she consulted the list of things she absolutely had to do in New York. One of her friends had hastily scribbled “find a way to legally stalk Seth Meyers” in one corner. Leave it to my sister's friends to do something like that.
“Okay, so we have to go to all of these clubs at some point...which one sounds good to you?” she asked. “Ryan?”
“That one sounds good,” I said as I pointed at one random name.
“Push? I don't know, my friend gave me that one and he's a little...um, out there. I don't know if I trust him when it comes to this.”
“You're in New York. Take advantage of it.”
“Okay, fine. We're going to Push,” Kaitlyn said. “Ugh, why do I want to say 'that's what she said?'”
Kaitlyn and I somehow made our way to Push, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was nervous. I couldn't blame her. The club looked like a place for freaks, not two young CFOs on their first night in the city. We went inside...and it was crazy. Kinda like a coked-out gay candyland once I thought about it. We stayed, anyway. I mean, it was good for us. We had to learn what sort of people to avoid...and these freaks definitely fit the category. I saw people doing things I hadn't even dreamed of, and I had some pretty big dreams. Kaitlyn seemed to enjoy it, but then she got something good out of almost every experience. That was my sister, the eternal optimist. It was sickening at times, but I put up with it. Whatever.
Four Hours Later
“Aw, Ryan, you're so lame,” Kaitlyn slurred as I did the responsible thing (me, responsible?) and drug her drunk self out of Push.
“We need to get home. We have to be at work tomorrow, remember?” I said.
“You're so stupid. And short. Haha, Ryan's short! Come on, just let me go back to my friends...shorty...”
I glared at her and supported her as we went back to our apartment. Kaitlyn apparently thought it was funny to yell profanities at random people as we, well I, made our way back. Every time she did it, she fell into a fit of drunken giggles while I just looked down, embarrassed. If I had a dollar for every time I had to apologize for her, I would've been able to buy my own business. Not a bad idea. Either way, Kaitlyn was never going back to Push. Ever.
“We're here, thank God,” I said as she fell onto the bed and passed out. “Yeah, probably the best for you.”
I picked up my phone and saw that I had texts from Kelly. I read them, and they were a combination of her saying that she was going to hate me for the rest of my life and begging me to call her and apologize so we could get back together. I wasn't going to text her back. If she called, I'd just say that my phone didn't get texts anymore. I could've told the truth and say that I didn't hear it go off, but she wouldn't have believed me anyway. That was what I hated about Kelly. She was so desperately clingy, yet she obviously had trust issues. That, and she was probably just a little psychotic and needed some sort of medication for it. Okay, so that was an exaggeration...but it felt like that sometimes. One minute she was proclaiming her undying love for me, the next she was yelling at me for some tiny little thing like not calling her back, forgetting that we had a date, or something like that. Why did those sorts of things matter anyway? She should've been thrilled to just be my girlfriend. That's how most girls were at least. They were cool just letting me do seperate things and have my own life. Not Kelly. She thought being my girlfriend meant being attached to my hip, and I hated it. She wasn't part of my life anymore, though. I stood and got ready for bed to the sounds of my sister's ever-so-unpleasant snores. I just hoped that she would be able to get up in the morning...it was the beginning of a new era for Dunder-Mifflin.
Okay, that sounded really stupid. But it was the truth.