sick of it
i hate when i think i've reached happiness and then i wake up and realize that it was all just a figment of my immagination. i mean i have things to be happy about,i love my friends and everything, but im not happy. and im so sick of not being happy. i see all these people that are just smiling and laughing and care free, and i have my moments where im like that, but its not all the time, its not even most of the time. most of the time im sad and depressed and thats what im sick of.. and i want to be happy so bad. i want to stop worrying about thigns and just live life to the fullest. it's pretty sad bc i used to be able to think of the last time that i was happy for more than 24 hours, and now i cant even remember the last time that i was. i just need to stop getting my hopes up when good things happen. just bc good things happen doesnt mean its going to stay good forever. maybe i just need to lower my standards for happiness.