Wakefullness and Reflection
I should be sleeping.
I should be wondering what Clinical Microbiology will bring me tomorrow,
but I'm awake.
I'm awake wondering where I went.
I used to write pretty well, pretty expressively, mind you.
Is it scary that there are a lot of things I don't remember?
Not even for lack of memory, but as my defense mechanism of choice.
Now, I just feel kind of lost in all the things I don't remember.
I kind of wish I did, even though I'm fairly certain it would be extremely painful.
I miss me, but I have a feeling I can't go back.
I've traveled on this path for too long, and I think that I've lost my way.
Maybe things were just simpler back then, and are lost to the innocence of childhood.
But still, there's no use in worrying over things that aren't anymore.
Everything has changed, and we all have new name.
Our identities erased.
I don't need drugs to feel alive.
Or to drink excessively either, come to think of it.
That much of old Cassie still exists.
And for that I'm extremely grateful.
Sleep is taking me now.
-Cass