Heartbeat, OUAT, Belle/Ruby
Title: Heartbeat
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Ruby/Belle
Rating: M
Word Count: 1,826
Note: Angsty; kind of OOC; in Ruby’s POV, inspired by Childish Gambino's "Heartbeat"
Note 2: This is my first one-shot for this pairing. I felt like writing something in first person and I had this song stuck in my head. R&R's are welcome, especially any tips on how I can improve. Hope you enjoy. Also, the italicized bold text are lyrics from the song.
I come around when you least expect me
I'm sitting at the bar when your glass is empty
I sit my ass down at the bar and order a shot of whiskey. I can see her out of the corner of my eye, hustling some losers in a game of pool. I can smell her from here. This is a moment where I hate my wolf side. I can smell her, but it’s not her. It’s Lacey. Not Belle. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve told myself this. I throw back the shot and feel its burn go down my throat.
“All right, boys. I’ve won again. Pay up.”
They groan. She smiles. She drinks the last of her beer as the guys put their money on the pool table. She pockets the cash. She comes over to the bar and asks for a refill, one barstool over to my left. She notices me. I can feel her looking at me.
“Hey. Ruby, right?”
I turn to her.
“Yeah. Hi, Be-, Lacey.”
She shoots me a look.
“You knew her, didn’t you?”
“Yes. We were good friends.”
“Something tells me you two were more than just friends.”
She takes a step closer and places a hand on my thigh. Images flash through my head of us: countless nights in each other’s arms, the first time we met, long walks in the park together.
“Look, I just came here for a dri-”
But before I could finish, she pulls me towards the ladies’ room. She locks the door behind us and pushes me against it. She crashes her lips onto mine. I try to push her away, but I can’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. She starts kissing my neck and finds that spot that makes my knees buckle, the same spot Belle nips when she wants to have her way with me.
She starts to unbutton my blouse. I grab her hands.
“Wait. Stop. I can’t. I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t.”
“Fine.”
She pushes me aside. She unlocks the door and walks out of the restroom. I stare at the disheveled mess in the mirror.
“She’s not her.”
-
[Two weeks later]
I can't find you
The girl that I once had
But the sex that we have, isn't half bad
I have no idea how I let it get like this, but here I am. Sated, for the fourth time tonight, I think. At least I’m with her, but she’s still not her. I stare at the ceiling. I feel the bed shift as she turns onto her side.
“Ready to go again?”
“Actually, I think I shou-”
But she cuts me off again and straddles me. Hands pinned at either side of my head, I lose myself in the kiss. I can’t speak whenever she’s around. I can’t even think.
She’s not her, I scream at myself internally. She’s just a ghost of her, but I don’t listen. Her hand is making its way down my front to between my legs.
I could get used to this. I don’t want to get used to this. I’m getting used to her.
-
[Three months later]
You know that I’m the best when I’m affectionate
I'm the best that you had, face it
‘Free right now. Library apt.’
It just takes one text and I’m already on my way. It’s been like this for the last few weeks. She texts, or I do, whenever it’s convenient, and one goes to the other. I can’t even put a name on what we’re doing, but I know that she’s not really happy with him. Otherwise, she would’ve stop giving me those lingering glances I’ve noticed when she’s at the diner. I mean, she still has her apartment above the library for fuck’s sake. No pun intended.
However, I don’t forget that Lacey chose to stay with him, even though Belle left him. Belle left him for me, but she’s not Belle. Whatever, stop thinking.
I make my way into the library, towards the adjoining door to her apartment. I never go through the main door, just in case anybody sees me. I knock on the door.
“It’s open.”
I walk in. There’s a broken bottle of wine on the floor. I hear the faucet running in the kitchen.
“Lacey?”
“In here.”
I see her running the water over her hand. I smell blood.
“What happened?”
“I was trying to open the bottle of wine, but the corkscrew was stuck. I tried to force it out and the next thing I knew there’s broken glass and blood.”
“Here, let me fix that.”
I get the First-Aid kit in the cupboard and lead her to sit at the kitchen table. I fix her hand up, careful not to agitate the wound.
“You’re good at that.”
“Thanks.”
I cut off the last piece of adhesive tape. I kiss her now bandaged hand.
“There. All better.”
She smiles. My heart skips a beat. I swear in that moment she smiled at me as if she was Belle.
“So, what’s with the wine?”
“I don’t know. I just thought we should let loose before we let loose.”
She gets up and leads me to her bedroom.
-
[One year later]
Are we dating? Are we fucking?
Are we best friends? Are we something in between that?
“What are we doing?”
“Well, I’m trying to sleep. I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
We’re in bed at her place. She turns to face me. I try not to look directly into those blue eyes or I’ll lose my train of thought.
“I didn’t want to say anything, but it’s been a year… of this, whatever this is.”
“So?”
“So?”
I get up from the bed and stand in front of her. I can’t believe she has the audacity to shrug this off as nothing.
“So?! I don't think I can keep doing this anymore, Lacey. The sneaking around, the stolen glances… I can’t do it anymore.”
But really, I can’t take any more of either of us leaving the other in the middle of the night.
“I can’t leave him.”
“Why not? You did before.”
“She did.”
Okay, that hurt. She’s now sitting at the edge of the bed. She grabs my hand. She looks so vulnerable. I can see tears well up in her eyes.
“I’m still trying to figure this out. Do you know how hard it is living in a town where everybody else thinks you’re someone who you know are not? At least, not anymore? It's hard to be myself when everyone else expects someone else.”
I turn my head away from her, trying to hide the tear that’s threatening to fall down my cheek. I understand what she means. More than anything, I want Belle back, but I’ve grown used to Lacey. I think I’ve fallen for her. I know it’s so messed up, but I can’t help it.
“Hey, look at me.”
I resist.
“Ruby, please.”
Fuck. Her voice cracks. I turn to her. The tear down the cheek is now in full view.
“Do you love me?”
I swallow a sob back. I hesitate a second to answer.
“I think so... Yes.”
“Okay, now answer me this and please be honest: Do you still love Belle?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t even wait a second to answer that. I still love Belle, but if this version of her is the next best thing I can have, then so be it. I know that that’s not fair to Lacey, but I have to be honest.
I look at her in the eyes, the same blue eyes I’ve lost myself in a thousand times before. Now those eyes are shedding tears, tears that I caused. I kneel down and cup the side of her face. I stroke a tear away with my thumb.
“I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel.”
“I was afraid of that.”
I pull her into a hug. She starts to sob into my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey. I really am.”
She hugs me back harder.
-
[Two weeks later]
I wanted you to know
That I am ready to go, heartbeat
My heartbeat
It’s been two weeks since I last saw Lacey. She’s been avoiding me. She doesn’t even come in for lunch at the diner. There are no texts from her either.
At the end of my shift at the diner, I head over to the sheriff’s station to start my patrol duty as part-time deputy. I pass by the pawnshop just in case she’s in there by any chance. Instead, I see Rumple behind the counter staring at me. I pick up my pace, but his eyes never leave me.
I make it to the station. Emma’s there waiting for me so that she can go home.
“Finally, you’re here. I don’t want to be late for dinner. You know how Regina is.”
She is so whipped, but I never tell her that.
“Hello to you too, Em.”
“Keep an extra watch on Green Street tonight. Several houses were TP’ed there in the last few nights.”
“Alright, Green Street. Got it. Anything else?”
“Oh yeah, you got a visitor.”
“What?”
“See ya, Rubes!”
Emma leaves the station in a sprint. I turn around and Lacey’s standing by my desk.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
She looks happy, but kind of nervous. She’s fidgeting her hands.
“Can I help you with anything?”
“Er… um. No. Actually, I came here to say that I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you these past few days.”
“Okay. Is that all?”
I walk over to my locker to get my gear for patrol.
“Yes. Well, um… no.”
She’s so nervous. I have no idea where this is going.
“I left him.”
I stop and look at her. Did she say what I thought she said?
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I left Rumple. I want to give this, whatever this is, a shot.”
I’ve been here before. It was like déjà vu all over again.
“You did?”
“Yes. Look, I won’t forget what you said earlier. I know you still love her, but can’t help but feel that there’s some sort of connection between us. I feel like there’s more to it than just sex and I want to figure out what it is. That is, if you’ll let me.”
I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I still love Belle. I love Lacey too, but it scares me. I felt that the more I love Lacey, the more I’d lose whatever love I have left for Belle.
But if I decide to figure this whole thing out with Lacey, it meant that this was no longer an attempt to hold on to Belle, but to move on.
But the thing is, I don’t know if I’m ready to let her go.
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Ruby/Belle
Rating: M
Word Count: 1,826
Note: Angsty; kind of OOC; in Ruby’s POV, inspired by Childish Gambino's "Heartbeat"
Note 2: This is my first one-shot for this pairing. I felt like writing something in first person and I had this song stuck in my head. R&R's are welcome, especially any tips on how I can improve. Hope you enjoy. Also, the italicized bold text are lyrics from the song.
I come around when you least expect me
I'm sitting at the bar when your glass is empty
I sit my ass down at the bar and order a shot of whiskey. I can see her out of the corner of my eye, hustling some losers in a game of pool. I can smell her from here. This is a moment where I hate my wolf side. I can smell her, but it’s not her. It’s Lacey. Not Belle. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve told myself this. I throw back the shot and feel its burn go down my throat.
“All right, boys. I’ve won again. Pay up.”
They groan. She smiles. She drinks the last of her beer as the guys put their money on the pool table. She pockets the cash. She comes over to the bar and asks for a refill, one barstool over to my left. She notices me. I can feel her looking at me.
“Hey. Ruby, right?”
I turn to her.
“Yeah. Hi, Be-, Lacey.”
She shoots me a look.
“You knew her, didn’t you?”
“Yes. We were good friends.”
“Something tells me you two were more than just friends.”
She takes a step closer and places a hand on my thigh. Images flash through my head of us: countless nights in each other’s arms, the first time we met, long walks in the park together.
“Look, I just came here for a dri-”
But before I could finish, she pulls me towards the ladies’ room. She locks the door behind us and pushes me against it. She crashes her lips onto mine. I try to push her away, but I can’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. She starts kissing my neck and finds that spot that makes my knees buckle, the same spot Belle nips when she wants to have her way with me.
She starts to unbutton my blouse. I grab her hands.
“Wait. Stop. I can’t. I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t.”
“Fine.”
She pushes me aside. She unlocks the door and walks out of the restroom. I stare at the disheveled mess in the mirror.
“She’s not her.”
-
[Two weeks later]
I can't find you
The girl that I once had
But the sex that we have, isn't half bad
I have no idea how I let it get like this, but here I am. Sated, for the fourth time tonight, I think. At least I’m with her, but she’s still not her. I stare at the ceiling. I feel the bed shift as she turns onto her side.
“Ready to go again?”
“Actually, I think I shou-”
But she cuts me off again and straddles me. Hands pinned at either side of my head, I lose myself in the kiss. I can’t speak whenever she’s around. I can’t even think.
She’s not her, I scream at myself internally. She’s just a ghost of her, but I don’t listen. Her hand is making its way down my front to between my legs.
I could get used to this. I don’t want to get used to this. I’m getting used to her.
-
[Three months later]
You know that I’m the best when I’m affectionate
I'm the best that you had, face it
‘Free right now. Library apt.’
It just takes one text and I’m already on my way. It’s been like this for the last few weeks. She texts, or I do, whenever it’s convenient, and one goes to the other. I can’t even put a name on what we’re doing, but I know that she’s not really happy with him. Otherwise, she would’ve stop giving me those lingering glances I’ve noticed when she’s at the diner. I mean, she still has her apartment above the library for fuck’s sake. No pun intended.
However, I don’t forget that Lacey chose to stay with him, even though Belle left him. Belle left him for me, but she’s not Belle. Whatever, stop thinking.
I make my way into the library, towards the adjoining door to her apartment. I never go through the main door, just in case anybody sees me. I knock on the door.
“It’s open.”
I walk in. There’s a broken bottle of wine on the floor. I hear the faucet running in the kitchen.
“Lacey?”
“In here.”
I see her running the water over her hand. I smell blood.
“What happened?”
“I was trying to open the bottle of wine, but the corkscrew was stuck. I tried to force it out and the next thing I knew there’s broken glass and blood.”
“Here, let me fix that.”
I get the First-Aid kit in the cupboard and lead her to sit at the kitchen table. I fix her hand up, careful not to agitate the wound.
“You’re good at that.”
“Thanks.”
I cut off the last piece of adhesive tape. I kiss her now bandaged hand.
“There. All better.”
She smiles. My heart skips a beat. I swear in that moment she smiled at me as if she was Belle.
“So, what’s with the wine?”
“I don’t know. I just thought we should let loose before we let loose.”
She gets up and leads me to her bedroom.
-
[One year later]
Are we dating? Are we fucking?
Are we best friends? Are we something in between that?
“What are we doing?”
“Well, I’m trying to sleep. I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
We’re in bed at her place. She turns to face me. I try not to look directly into those blue eyes or I’ll lose my train of thought.
“I didn’t want to say anything, but it’s been a year… of this, whatever this is.”
“So?”
“So?”
I get up from the bed and stand in front of her. I can’t believe she has the audacity to shrug this off as nothing.
“So?! I don't think I can keep doing this anymore, Lacey. The sneaking around, the stolen glances… I can’t do it anymore.”
But really, I can’t take any more of either of us leaving the other in the middle of the night.
“I can’t leave him.”
“Why not? You did before.”
“She did.”
Okay, that hurt. She’s now sitting at the edge of the bed. She grabs my hand. She looks so vulnerable. I can see tears well up in her eyes.
“I’m still trying to figure this out. Do you know how hard it is living in a town where everybody else thinks you’re someone who you know are not? At least, not anymore? It's hard to be myself when everyone else expects someone else.”
I turn my head away from her, trying to hide the tear that’s threatening to fall down my cheek. I understand what she means. More than anything, I want Belle back, but I’ve grown used to Lacey. I think I’ve fallen for her. I know it’s so messed up, but I can’t help it.
“Hey, look at me.”
I resist.
“Ruby, please.”
Fuck. Her voice cracks. I turn to her. The tear down the cheek is now in full view.
“Do you love me?”
I swallow a sob back. I hesitate a second to answer.
“I think so... Yes.”
“Okay, now answer me this and please be honest: Do you still love Belle?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t even wait a second to answer that. I still love Belle, but if this version of her is the next best thing I can have, then so be it. I know that that’s not fair to Lacey, but I have to be honest.
I look at her in the eyes, the same blue eyes I’ve lost myself in a thousand times before. Now those eyes are shedding tears, tears that I caused. I kneel down and cup the side of her face. I stroke a tear away with my thumb.
“I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel.”
“I was afraid of that.”
I pull her into a hug. She starts to sob into my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey. I really am.”
She hugs me back harder.
-
[Two weeks later]
I wanted you to know
That I am ready to go, heartbeat
My heartbeat
It’s been two weeks since I last saw Lacey. She’s been avoiding me. She doesn’t even come in for lunch at the diner. There are no texts from her either.
At the end of my shift at the diner, I head over to the sheriff’s station to start my patrol duty as part-time deputy. I pass by the pawnshop just in case she’s in there by any chance. Instead, I see Rumple behind the counter staring at me. I pick up my pace, but his eyes never leave me.
I make it to the station. Emma’s there waiting for me so that she can go home.
“Finally, you’re here. I don’t want to be late for dinner. You know how Regina is.”
She is so whipped, but I never tell her that.
“Hello to you too, Em.”
“Keep an extra watch on Green Street tonight. Several houses were TP’ed there in the last few nights.”
“Alright, Green Street. Got it. Anything else?”
“Oh yeah, you got a visitor.”
“What?”
“See ya, Rubes!”
Emma leaves the station in a sprint. I turn around and Lacey’s standing by my desk.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
She looks happy, but kind of nervous. She’s fidgeting her hands.
“Can I help you with anything?”
“Er… um. No. Actually, I came here to say that I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you these past few days.”
“Okay. Is that all?”
I walk over to my locker to get my gear for patrol.
“Yes. Well, um… no.”
She’s so nervous. I have no idea where this is going.
“I left him.”
I stop and look at her. Did she say what I thought she said?
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I left Rumple. I want to give this, whatever this is, a shot.”
I’ve been here before. It was like déjà vu all over again.
“You did?”
“Yes. Look, I won’t forget what you said earlier. I know you still love her, but can’t help but feel that there’s some sort of connection between us. I feel like there’s more to it than just sex and I want to figure out what it is. That is, if you’ll let me.”
I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I still love Belle. I love Lacey too, but it scares me. I felt that the more I love Lacey, the more I’d lose whatever love I have left for Belle.
But if I decide to figure this whole thing out with Lacey, it meant that this was no longer an attempt to hold on to Belle, but to move on.
But the thing is, I don’t know if I’m ready to let her go.