Quick update//pseudo-rant
I got into graduate school at Cleveland State. I still haven't received my letter in the mail though, so I don't know any details. I still don't have a job, though an offer should be coming to me this week or the next (whether or not I'm going to take it is another story). I'm playing softball this summer with my cousins... it's a Brookpark team.... I can't wait! It's been way too long since I've been on the field. I'm nervous because it's been awhile, but definitely excited too.
I'm finishing up the last two weeks of classes and then finals week. It's just now starting to set in and feel weird. I've been here for four years and it's where I've grown the most as a person. I know I was in high school for the same amount of time, but I didn't feel as connected to the school as I do to this one. I have been involved while here and I have had the time of my life. Granted, this year hasn't been fantastic because most of my good friends left at the end of last year, but it's had its moments... especially with Chris being a part of my life. Now I walk around campus and all I can think is "this is one of the last times I'll be walking these halls or walking on this path". It's weird to me. I feel like I belong here. I'm sure a part of this is also anxiousness about moving on in life, but I'm also sad that I have to leave the great times I've had here. Yes, I know I'll always have the memories... but part of me feels like the other big moments in life won't compare to the years I've spent here. I have come to know and love this place and I wouldn't trade my experience for anything. I'm sure going to miss it.... but I know once I leave, coming back just won't be the same. This is definitely a bittersweet moment in my life. I'm not sure if I'm ready to give it up, but I have no choice.
Now for my rant:
I am sick and tired of trying to make plans with people. I made plans with someone about a month ago and now other things have "come up." In other words, other people asked this person to do stuff, the person said 'okay,' and now I'm being put on the back burner. This is ridiculous. Then, sometimes I get calls asking me to hang out at like 9pm... yea okay... maybe you should try calling earlier so that we actually have a chance to hang out. I really want to hang out with you and see everyone because it's been awhile, but it's needs to be more realistic. Then, since I can't make it, I try to make plans for the following weekend, but that's "too soon." Okay... that's bullshit. By saying a week in advance is "too soon," you're basically telling me that you're going to wait and see if anything better comes along. Then, if something doesn't, maybe you'll give me a call as a last resort. No... that's fucking bullshit. It's one thing to say "Let me check with X. We were talking about doing something but I'm not sure of the details just yet" but it's another to say "It's too early for me to make plans." Bullshit... grow up. Plans are nice to have so that I, along with everyone else, is able to make sure to get things done before that day so that we are actually able to hang out. If you call me and tell me the day of "Hey! I can hang out!" chances are that I haven't arranged my life around you and either (a)have too much shit to do or (b)already have other plans.
Stop saying "it's too early to make plans." It's not like I'm asking a year in advance here.... it's one goddamn week. If you're really not that interested in hanging out with me, then please just tell me so that I can stop wasting my time and effort. I'm tired of being a last resort. It's time to grow up and act like adults.
//rant