They go ahead and do this.
I just finished watching the most recent episode: "JJ" Here's a crappy point-form play by play:
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A girl is missing after vacationing at the beach. Hasn't this show taught her anything? If you're an attractive female between the ages of 16 and 30, you NEVER LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. And even if you are at home, you'd be smart to sit inside a cube of bulletproof glass.
"They" are still in Hotch's office. I'm assuming this is Hotch and JJ. Ugh. Not good
Reid's lactose-intolerant!!! I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT! Solidarity, brother!
Strauss is in Hotch's office too??? *CLENCHES FISTS OF RAGE*
-Reid: "Maybe she's asking for a raise." Aaaaaand.... EPIC PRENTISS FACE!
JJ has declined the position at the pentagon TWICE, and Hotch basically challenges Strauss: "There's nothing you can do about it." Oh Hotch... *facepalm*. Do NOT challenge that demon-woman.
Just noticed how mind-blowing Garcia's outfit is. I want those glasses.
Opening quote is about tragedies and "majestic sadness". *starts crying preemptively*
Is JJ weeping in the jet bathroom??? Don't cry!! Oh... but Spence is checking up on her. No wait... he just has to hurl or something. Oh man... that's what the lactose does, Reid. Trust me... I know.
OMG isn't that Marshmallow Mike from the godawful Twilight movies? *Googles it* Yup. Ten points for Jo.
Psychological-breakdown interrogations! Bitchin! I love those! *rubs palms togehter*
Whoa. Mike is a cocky little bastard.
Okay, holy crap. I'm a straight woman, and even I can see why Mike is ogling Prentiss's chest. Nice rack, Emily! (I have a feeling she did this on purpose. Y'know... to mess with his head. Profilers are awesome.)
I know a lot of people miss Reid's long hair, but I like his new look. He can (and pretty much does) pull off any style, I think. I'm curious as to what's next, though? Reid gets cornrows? Mohawk? Faux-hawk? Dreadlocks? I wouldn't put it past them.
Sorry. Tangent.
Parents of missing girl are intersting. Mom is optimistic. Dad is out for blood.
Gah... and they've already lost one child to leukemia!?? Please Criminal Minds... despite everything I know about your show to date... I'm begging you not to kill off the daughter.
Okay dad... I know your daughter's missing, but if you yell at JJ again, I'm going to have to hurt you.
Wow. Mike. You are such a little douchebag! What's up with his cocky smile and holier-than-thou attitude?
Lol... Prentiss and her "I'm too stupid to know how to fix a video camera" act. She makes the most hilariously awesome "good cop" interrogator.
Oooh-hoo! Rossi's gonna talk to Mike. Excellent!
-Hotch: "Strauss thinks that we're all replaceable. I went over her head to try to prove that we're not."
BAM! I love this! The show is TOTALLY calling out CBS on being complete d-bags for firing AJ Cook! I'm so glad they did JJ's departure this way. Stick it to the man!
Sweeeet... Morgan's getting PISSED OFF!
-Mike's Friend: "My alarm clock's broke."
-Reid: "Broken. Your alarm clock's broken."
Lol. I love it when Reid can't help but be nerdy. I correct my friends/family like this all the time. They hate it.
And... Morgan gets physical. Yup. All is still right with the universe.
-Strauss: "What do you want me to do? Lose my job so she can keep hers?"
-Every single CM fan in the known universe: "YES. YOU FIGURED IT OUT. THANK YOU."
And now they're using an Iphone to help solve a murder investigation. Apparently there's an app for that.
SHARKS!!? Wow, CBS seems to be reaching out to the 6-to-13-year-old male demographic.
Ahahahaha! Unsub goes to step out of the interrogation-room door only to be side-stepped, blockaded, and brazenly stared down by Reid and Prentiss. Is it terribly nerdy that I want an animated GIF of this? :P
Oh wait... the girl is alive! After they said the word "sharks" I didn't hold out much hope for her, tbh.
And here comes my grief.
Okay wait... Hotch says he's hoping he can get JJ back. Is this for real, or is it just meant to tease us?
Hotch says goodbye to JJ with a handshake. Oh, Hotch. Never change.
-JJ: "How am I supposed to tell them I'm leaving when I don't want to go?"
-Hotch: "The brass is really good at taking power away. Makes them feel like they're in charge."
Art. It mirrors life. I love the writers of this show sfm.
Oh noes. Garcia is standing alone looking distraught. D':
My heart. My poor heart.
Morgan is angry and makes a good point - they're trying to sabotage the team by taking away its hub.
Rossi is being his all-knowing self: "Our loss is someone else's gain" And again I'm wanting to pat the writers on the back and give them each a cigar.
Emily has tears! No Emily! Don't cry! But she's being her usual guarded self, smiling through her sadness. Ugh this is too much.
Dear lord, and poor Spence. He's so confused! Everyone else is rationalizing it to make JJ feel better, and he just keeps repeating "They can't just take you away..." and staring off into space. I love how, for all his intelligence, he's clearly the most emotionally-stunted member of the group. *squishes*
And of course... the best for last: The LEAST emotionally-stunted member of the group. This is where I was no longer able to hold in my sobs. Poor, poor Garcia. "Do they even care that we're a family?" NO, PENELOPE. OBVIOUSLY THE STUPID NETWORK DOESN'T CARE!
I love how she says that JJ could've told her because she would've hacked the system and put something in her file to make it impossible for her to leave. Lol. I love Garcia.
Wow, this episode is like the "Save our Bluths" ep of Arrested Development. The dialogue cuts right into the network big-wigs with absolutely no shame.
Sad music is sad.
OMG IT'S RAY LAMONTAGNE. There is no hope for me now. Teh sad. I haz it.
I love Ray Lamontagne. He wrote a song about me (lol):
Click to view
Seriously, though... names aside, this is one of my favourite songs ever. I think it's because it's vaguely Van Morrison-ish (Morrisonian?) if you squint. Regardless, it's beautiful.
Hmmm... second tangent in one post. Sorry. I'm trying not to.
I don't even know what to do with myself. Sad montage with sad voiceover about family and growth and letting go and... *clutches chest*
I need to go eat a tub of ice cream now. *grabs lactaid*
I will miss you so much, JJ.
<3