You step beneath the landslide...Nothing feels right when you're wrong
Good sign indeed... the very next day I'm at work, about 15 mins before closing and my phone goes off in my pocket, which totally scared me. I pull it out and find the first text from a specific someone since the whole mess. Woah. Today would be day two of actual text convos... which is starting to make things too easy to believe its falling back into place. Things are beginning to feel like they used to, except for the obvious words omitted from both sides... I just miss the stupid talk, the pet names, the sickening sweetness making everyone but the two of us gag incessantly... Ugh. And of course my card didn't come in today, which has been driving me completely mental since he seemed anxious for me to get it too. I don't know why. (making it worse)
Now I wanna coax you from your hell
Into an alley, the hidden valley
Where the truth can surely spill
I wanna take the weight that drags you to the ground
Spare this treasure that I found
I found out my mom never mentioned anyhting to my dad, and apparantly wants me to keep completely quiet about this all... I guess she thinks he will be all against it, sposedly caring how devastated I was before and doesn't want me returning to that. I say its bullshit, he never even noticed. Somehow I think she's being all supportive to me now but is going to use him to confront the "should you really..." side. I just wish I knew what the fuck was going on. I'm so afraid to jump the gun but I can't help but let the little things make me happier. A text message shouldn't put a smile on my face as easily as his does. Its fucking insane how deep I am. It scares me because I know there's nothing I can do about it. If only this could resolve everything else will fall into place for me, I know it. It's really the only thing that matters to me right now.
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I don't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeers click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you