I'll wake up tomorrow.
I'm at home alone tonight. Shelby is in my bathroom getting ready to go out to Orlando and go to her friend's going away party. Nick is eating cereal with Christians. Stacey is down south hanging with Katherine. I've gotten calls from random people but everything seems to be falling through. Maybe I'm supposed to be sitting at home tonight? My original group of friends are all at a birthday party which I'm not welcome at. I wish I could go and see everyone. I wish things weren't like this tonight. I miss how things used to be. It was my decision to not go and make things horrible for myself.
I need to be looking out for me. And for once in my life I've been doing that. I come and go as I please. I don't look at things that will upset me. I've been making good decisions. I've surrounded myself with people that love and care about me. I used to drive home wanting to wreck into the next light pole. It's been some time since I've wanted that. I haven't cried. I think I'm all dried up honestly.
I kind of wish you didn't leave. For the first time, I'm alone. I am alone. I haven't done this in a long time. I'm just laying here listening to music, my only medication.
I want to be different so badly. I will be someone some day. I don't want to blend in with everyone and everything. I want to do something. I want to do something good and whole. I need that. I want to be something and it sucks that so many people don't. I'm not alright with being a no body. I wasn't put here just to get by. I'm done with this conditioned life style I've been taught to lead. What if I don't hold the same values as society? Does that make me anything less than human? I'm not bleeding for nothing. We all have a purpose. Find yours. Explore your world. Take back everything you thought about someone and give them a clean slate. Don't ask for anything back. Do it for yourself. We will all be ready for this.
I keep wondering if I'll see you at warped watching JM. I keep asking myself if you'll be dancing with me.
Devin,
I'm sorry for a lot of shit that's happened between us. I can't hold something against you that has nothing to do with you. And out of all the people I know, no matter what, you'd always be there. I don't know if you know what that means to me.
And so, I'm sitting at home on a Friday night for a reason. I'm crying and I'm ok with that. I guess I've needed this for a while.
I'm always looking out for people and their well being. Sometimes, I don't feel the same about me. I've always wondered. Sometimes it's good to be completely alone.
Take a chance.
I need to be looking out for me. And for once in my life I've been doing that. I come and go as I please. I don't look at things that will upset me. I've been making good decisions. I've surrounded myself with people that love and care about me. I used to drive home wanting to wreck into the next light pole. It's been some time since I've wanted that. I haven't cried. I think I'm all dried up honestly.
I kind of wish you didn't leave. For the first time, I'm alone. I am alone. I haven't done this in a long time. I'm just laying here listening to music, my only medication.
I want to be different so badly. I will be someone some day. I don't want to blend in with everyone and everything. I want to do something. I want to do something good and whole. I need that. I want to be something and it sucks that so many people don't. I'm not alright with being a no body. I wasn't put here just to get by. I'm done with this conditioned life style I've been taught to lead. What if I don't hold the same values as society? Does that make me anything less than human? I'm not bleeding for nothing. We all have a purpose. Find yours. Explore your world. Take back everything you thought about someone and give them a clean slate. Don't ask for anything back. Do it for yourself. We will all be ready for this.
I keep wondering if I'll see you at warped watching JM. I keep asking myself if you'll be dancing with me.
Devin,
I'm sorry for a lot of shit that's happened between us. I can't hold something against you that has nothing to do with you. And out of all the people I know, no matter what, you'd always be there. I don't know if you know what that means to me.
And so, I'm sitting at home on a Friday night for a reason. I'm crying and I'm ok with that. I guess I've needed this for a while.
I'm always looking out for people and their well being. Sometimes, I don't feel the same about me. I've always wondered. Sometimes it's good to be completely alone.
Take a chance.