I'm making this public because i want everyone to see
You once told me not to write in this about you, but right now i really don't care. i respect you but you need to respect me and Stephanie. and for christ sake you need to respect Steve as well.
Today was a great day. i mean with all the snow i still had a great day. and i'm not saying that you made it a bad day because that would be syndictive. but you need to not blow things outta proportion like you did today. i mean ok, i respect your wishes of me not going with you and Stephanie and whoever else is going on saturday. hell thats a god send thank you very much. but i only said "Stephanie might want me to go but idk" because steph mention it to me that she wanted me to go with her to look at dresses so i could give her my opinion on it. but i really had no care for it. becuase i wouldn't be my decision on the dresses. so if you didn't want me to go then good, i'm not upset about it, i'm gonna go home and go back to bed and get the sleep that i lost for working that morning. you guys can have a blast. but see you blew that up. you got really judgemental. instead of just calmly telling me that you didn't want me to go, you blew it outta proportion. and it offended me and i got really upset. and then you continued. you had to hit every spot that made me upset. and not just me but stephanie as well. hell the incident that you said "in a year stephanie and i could be totally broken up" yeah thats a nice thing to say. we are engaged, we've been together for a year and you said that wouldn't even make it that far and we proved you wrong. see we are always positive for you always looking on the better side of things. and you had to be negative and tell me that you think that stephanie and i are going to break up and that we won't make it any further. thats a nice thing to say. stephanie and i have been positive for you and steve and steve is grateful for it. you're not. stephanie and i are always there to help you out with any situation. and you know what its been used many times too. where we have dropped everything and went directly to you to help you out. and we were there on the day that you and steve couldn't see each other anymore and we tried to make it better and i think we did because thats what friends do for one another. now something as simple as me not going with you to look at dresses makes this incident extremely unproportional. hell i don't even want to go, i would literally fall asleep doing that and hell i'm a guy, what kinda guy would want to go do that stuff? but seeing that i was being a good fiannce to stephanie, i said i'll go to help her make her decision, on her behalf. you could have told me that its an all girls things but i didn't know that did i? you failed to mention that, and if you did tell me that then i would have been ok, and then everything would have been fine. but instead it went too far and things went from being bad to way worse. and to make everything worse, Steve and I had the great conversation earlier before that, and how we are so greatful to have each other as best friends because we are always there for each other. and that we have helped each other outta everything and that we will be there for each other no matter what, that we will stand together against anything. thats what being best friends means. even though he might not tell me everything, its ok with me because its not the end of the world, he might not want to tell me because hes afraid to, and he told me that about the secret he told me today. and i was ok with it, i didn't mind it. i wasn't going to bash him or ridicule him what so ever. but i don't understand how you think stephanie not telling you everything implies that she hates you and doesn't want to be your best friend anymore. but its different for girls, right? you need to understand stephanie and listen to her, and not immidiatly turn everything around that she says and make it negative because you know what, i believe what she says is true. even though she has lied to me before and has hurt me badly because she lied to me, i believe that she says is true. because i know from first had experience how you can be at times, and that you think you are better then everyone else. i mean i still respect you but you have that attitude that your #1 in the world and everyone will bend over backwards just for you. and hell why not? basically everyone has done exactly that. so let me give you some advice.
listen instead of ridicule
instead of placing yourself higher then everyone else, let someone else be better then you. (you'll get a better view of the world)
take advice where ever it comes from.
secrets are something sacred, sometimes people don't talk because they don't want anyone to know shit.
being a best friend is being reliable, confident, trusting, civilrous. being a best friend doesn't mean you can ignore one another, it doesnt mean you can ridicule another ones ideas or thoughts, it doesn't mean you can literally downgrade your best friend's love life, ideas, personal well being, perspective and beliefs
instead of blacking out all the time, breathe, take things lighter, try to understand it from a different point of view.
don't offend other people with crude remarks, thats a sure way to lose friends
and instead of thinking your right all the time, try thinking that hey, i might be wrong. lets listen to this and find out. because even when your wrong you still learn. i mean i try hard to make myself right because, i will admit, i'm usually right a lot of times. but i've learned a lot in my days, and i learned a lot from screwing up. making a bunch of mistakes because i was stupid and wouldn't listen to my friends or my parents or basic logic of life and rules of life.
if you are stephanie's best friend, you will listen to her from now on, you will not ignore her, and admit to it, you have ignored her. you will listen to all of her problems, and when she tells you all her problems, don't try to make it seam like her problems are miniscule then your problems, because i know you do that. i've seen you do that. you will tell her all of your problems instead of holding them in from her and telling everyone else, because it gets around people gossip, god gave us a mouth to speak from. and respect her when she doesn't want to tell you stuff, because she respects you when you don't tell her stuff, yeah she just walks away sometimes, but usually thats the best thing to do. secrets are kept hidden. its ok. you can have them, she can have them. stephanie is doing a lot right now, and she has done a lot before. i mean look back on what she has done for you, all the nice generous things she has done. she has made your life a little bit easier. and now, not only is she taking the full burden of the prom organization she is willingly enough doing it on top of the loud of homework and midterms she is also doing. i think not only does that deserve gratification i think that deserves an award and maybe even some slack from some sort. because shes getting a little fatiqued, and you don't know it. so please, i don't want to her about this again, before you blow up again, count to 5 or something and calmly state your point and it will most likely get through. because hell today could have ended better, if you just said that you don't want me going because its a girl thing, i would have been fine. i mean i'm fine with it now, i didnt want to go anyways. don't black out anymore, i mean that can be avoided, and not being rude or anything, but usually thats an excuse people use for some of the horrible things that they have done. if you do black out again, just stop doing whatever you are doing, your going to end up hurting yourself worse then before. and soon you'll hurt someone else. and then things will be worse then before. theres nothing worse then hurting a person that is trying to help you. i repeat, there is nothing worse then hurting a person that is trying to help you. please just learn from this, i don't want to deal with it and i bet steve doesn't want to deal with it.
well i know i haven't updated and this update sucks and i'm not happy i wrote it but i really don't care right now. but i'll update later on. so check in sometime soon ok.
~Matt~
P.S. i'm sorry for writing this. i know you don't like it when i do this, but usually when i write things out and let you read them its better because usually you cut me off before i can finish. so my point never gets through and you never truly know. so its a vicious cycle. so you can be mad at me. becuase i know you will be. just know that i did this out of frienship, you need to learn, you need to know, you need to start understanding. again i'm sorry. but i had to do it.
Stephanie, i love you. things will be better, and steve is going to make sure of it. just talk to her and hopefully she'll listen, if she doesn't, well shes loosing the greatest thing that she could ever ask for in a life time. a best friend.....
Today was a great day. i mean with all the snow i still had a great day. and i'm not saying that you made it a bad day because that would be syndictive. but you need to not blow things outta proportion like you did today. i mean ok, i respect your wishes of me not going with you and Stephanie and whoever else is going on saturday. hell thats a god send thank you very much. but i only said "Stephanie might want me to go but idk" because steph mention it to me that she wanted me to go with her to look at dresses so i could give her my opinion on it. but i really had no care for it. becuase i wouldn't be my decision on the dresses. so if you didn't want me to go then good, i'm not upset about it, i'm gonna go home and go back to bed and get the sleep that i lost for working that morning. you guys can have a blast. but see you blew that up. you got really judgemental. instead of just calmly telling me that you didn't want me to go, you blew it outta proportion. and it offended me and i got really upset. and then you continued. you had to hit every spot that made me upset. and not just me but stephanie as well. hell the incident that you said "in a year stephanie and i could be totally broken up" yeah thats a nice thing to say. we are engaged, we've been together for a year and you said that wouldn't even make it that far and we proved you wrong. see we are always positive for you always looking on the better side of things. and you had to be negative and tell me that you think that stephanie and i are going to break up and that we won't make it any further. thats a nice thing to say. stephanie and i have been positive for you and steve and steve is grateful for it. you're not. stephanie and i are always there to help you out with any situation. and you know what its been used many times too. where we have dropped everything and went directly to you to help you out. and we were there on the day that you and steve couldn't see each other anymore and we tried to make it better and i think we did because thats what friends do for one another. now something as simple as me not going with you to look at dresses makes this incident extremely unproportional. hell i don't even want to go, i would literally fall asleep doing that and hell i'm a guy, what kinda guy would want to go do that stuff? but seeing that i was being a good fiannce to stephanie, i said i'll go to help her make her decision, on her behalf. you could have told me that its an all girls things but i didn't know that did i? you failed to mention that, and if you did tell me that then i would have been ok, and then everything would have been fine. but instead it went too far and things went from being bad to way worse. and to make everything worse, Steve and I had the great conversation earlier before that, and how we are so greatful to have each other as best friends because we are always there for each other. and that we have helped each other outta everything and that we will be there for each other no matter what, that we will stand together against anything. thats what being best friends means. even though he might not tell me everything, its ok with me because its not the end of the world, he might not want to tell me because hes afraid to, and he told me that about the secret he told me today. and i was ok with it, i didn't mind it. i wasn't going to bash him or ridicule him what so ever. but i don't understand how you think stephanie not telling you everything implies that she hates you and doesn't want to be your best friend anymore. but its different for girls, right? you need to understand stephanie and listen to her, and not immidiatly turn everything around that she says and make it negative because you know what, i believe what she says is true. even though she has lied to me before and has hurt me badly because she lied to me, i believe that she says is true. because i know from first had experience how you can be at times, and that you think you are better then everyone else. i mean i still respect you but you have that attitude that your #1 in the world and everyone will bend over backwards just for you. and hell why not? basically everyone has done exactly that. so let me give you some advice.
listen instead of ridicule
instead of placing yourself higher then everyone else, let someone else be better then you. (you'll get a better view of the world)
take advice where ever it comes from.
secrets are something sacred, sometimes people don't talk because they don't want anyone to know shit.
being a best friend is being reliable, confident, trusting, civilrous. being a best friend doesn't mean you can ignore one another, it doesnt mean you can ridicule another ones ideas or thoughts, it doesn't mean you can literally downgrade your best friend's love life, ideas, personal well being, perspective and beliefs
instead of blacking out all the time, breathe, take things lighter, try to understand it from a different point of view.
don't offend other people with crude remarks, thats a sure way to lose friends
and instead of thinking your right all the time, try thinking that hey, i might be wrong. lets listen to this and find out. because even when your wrong you still learn. i mean i try hard to make myself right because, i will admit, i'm usually right a lot of times. but i've learned a lot in my days, and i learned a lot from screwing up. making a bunch of mistakes because i was stupid and wouldn't listen to my friends or my parents or basic logic of life and rules of life.
if you are stephanie's best friend, you will listen to her from now on, you will not ignore her, and admit to it, you have ignored her. you will listen to all of her problems, and when she tells you all her problems, don't try to make it seam like her problems are miniscule then your problems, because i know you do that. i've seen you do that. you will tell her all of your problems instead of holding them in from her and telling everyone else, because it gets around people gossip, god gave us a mouth to speak from. and respect her when she doesn't want to tell you stuff, because she respects you when you don't tell her stuff, yeah she just walks away sometimes, but usually thats the best thing to do. secrets are kept hidden. its ok. you can have them, she can have them. stephanie is doing a lot right now, and she has done a lot before. i mean look back on what she has done for you, all the nice generous things she has done. she has made your life a little bit easier. and now, not only is she taking the full burden of the prom organization she is willingly enough doing it on top of the loud of homework and midterms she is also doing. i think not only does that deserve gratification i think that deserves an award and maybe even some slack from some sort. because shes getting a little fatiqued, and you don't know it. so please, i don't want to her about this again, before you blow up again, count to 5 or something and calmly state your point and it will most likely get through. because hell today could have ended better, if you just said that you don't want me going because its a girl thing, i would have been fine. i mean i'm fine with it now, i didnt want to go anyways. don't black out anymore, i mean that can be avoided, and not being rude or anything, but usually thats an excuse people use for some of the horrible things that they have done. if you do black out again, just stop doing whatever you are doing, your going to end up hurting yourself worse then before. and soon you'll hurt someone else. and then things will be worse then before. theres nothing worse then hurting a person that is trying to help you. i repeat, there is nothing worse then hurting a person that is trying to help you. please just learn from this, i don't want to deal with it and i bet steve doesn't want to deal with it.
well i know i haven't updated and this update sucks and i'm not happy i wrote it but i really don't care right now. but i'll update later on. so check in sometime soon ok.
~Matt~
P.S. i'm sorry for writing this. i know you don't like it when i do this, but usually when i write things out and let you read them its better because usually you cut me off before i can finish. so my point never gets through and you never truly know. so its a vicious cycle. so you can be mad at me. becuase i know you will be. just know that i did this out of frienship, you need to learn, you need to know, you need to start understanding. again i'm sorry. but i had to do it.
Stephanie, i love you. things will be better, and steve is going to make sure of it. just talk to her and hopefully she'll listen, if she doesn't, well shes loosing the greatest thing that she could ever ask for in a life time. a best friend.....