Sudden Violent Comedy
Turning onto the last main drag between me and my home tonight, I found
myself behind a white Cadillac Escalade EXT. It's not the first time
I've run across one, but they still continue to crack me up.
If you've not seen one, the rundown goes like this: Start with a Chevy Suburban, the essence of overkill and an SUV with an identity crisis: Is it an undersized bus? Is it a station wagon on steroids? Is it D) all the above? Now lop off part of the roof and turn the back end into a vestigial pickup bed that can switch between being too short for anything but groceries and intruding into the passenger compartment, and call the result the Avalanche, ignoring that its identity crisis has gotten worse. Now slap some extra trim and a Cadillac badge on it, up the price accordingly and you have an Escalade EXT. Step 4: profit!
It is the ultimate combination of off-road passenger vehicle and pickup truck for the person who needs neither. Does anyone ever take a Cadillac anything down a gravel road, much less a disused and overgrown fire road? Does any Escalade owner harbor fantasies of folding down the back seat in order to haul that extra bale or two of hay down to the ranch?
And as I was thinking these thoughts, the EXT moved into the left turn lane, revealing to me that I was in fact following a stretch EXT limo.
Thank you, and goodnight.
If you've not seen one, the rundown goes like this: Start with a Chevy Suburban, the essence of overkill and an SUV with an identity crisis: Is it an undersized bus? Is it a station wagon on steroids? Is it D) all the above? Now lop off part of the roof and turn the back end into a vestigial pickup bed that can switch between being too short for anything but groceries and intruding into the passenger compartment, and call the result the Avalanche, ignoring that its identity crisis has gotten worse. Now slap some extra trim and a Cadillac badge on it, up the price accordingly and you have an Escalade EXT. Step 4: profit!
It is the ultimate combination of off-road passenger vehicle and pickup truck for the person who needs neither. Does anyone ever take a Cadillac anything down a gravel road, much less a disused and overgrown fire road? Does any Escalade owner harbor fantasies of folding down the back seat in order to haul that extra bale or two of hay down to the ranch?
And as I was thinking these thoughts, the EXT moved into the left turn lane, revealing to me that I was in fact following a stretch EXT limo.
Thank you, and goodnight.