(no subject)
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i just got in a really bad mood.
i'm so fed up with everything.
my friends piss me off so much. not all of them, but most of them.
i find myself being a bitch to my mom all the time and she doesn't deserve it. i just take out everything on her and she hasn't done anything to me.
i haven't talked to any of my old friends in so long. i miss kyle so much and i don't think he even gives a shit. hes definitely turning into a jason and so are drew and alex. i miss them.
i've been in the worst moods lately. i thought it was pms but it's not. everything's just building up on me i guess. my parents expect me to have wonderful grades. i've been on honor roll my whole life. only once have i gotten a c on my report card. it's quite pathetic. i guess i'm glad i've always gotten good grades. i mean i'd like to get into a good college, get a good job, and have a family. but i become so fucking overwhelmed by all this shit that i have to do. i go to school, go to the skatepark, then come home and do homework. i'm so tired i don't have time to do anything else. i do the same thing every single day. then i see my friends who have so much more fun than i do. they skip school and go out and party and get wasted all the time. they don't care about grades. i wish i had the balls to do that stuff but i don't.
i hate being short.
i hate it so much, no one understands.
everyone thinks its cute and people are always telling me they wish they were my size. no one has any fucking idea what i have to go through. today b-a and i went to the mall and i tried on pants. i had to go into abercrombie kids and size fucking 12 is to big for me. size 12 in kids. it's so annoying. and i'm sick of everyone calling me a fucking midget. i'm not a midget people. the only person who doesn't annoy me when they say it is monte. jason started calling me that in like 5th grade and it didn't phase me and monte started saying it when he went out with ba or something and that didn't annoy me. but everyone else, i don't know. . i just want to slap them really hard. take a 2 by 4 and beat them senseless. no not really. i can't be mean about it. i feel bad. when people ask me if i care being called that or like when they make jokes about me being short constantly i can't be like yeah i hate it so fucking stop, i just smile and say no not really because i don't want to sound like a bitch and make a big deal about it. i mean you don't walk up to someone whos retarded and be like hey retard! unless your a total asshole who wants to go to hell.
kat has a new baby brother. being an only child sucks.
rufio's in a week. blink and taking back sunday are in like two. i want to go so bad.
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