War of the Star-Spawn
In the course of my studies I have stumbled across the translation of a strange manuscript which was buried in the arcane lore of a tome that claims to have been compiled by The Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred. Before I divulge the contents let me briefly fill you in on the details of the history:
"The Old Ones came to Earth before life took shape, traversing the ether on their vast wings. Originally, the Old Ones inhabited the sea, rearing great cities on its floor and fighting epic battles with unnamed denizens. It was here, first as food and then for other purposes, that the Old Ones created life. Among the creatures spawned by the Old Ones were the horrific Shoggoths which are whispered of by Alhazred in the Necronomicon…
About the same time period when the land mass which became the moon was ripped from the South Pacific, the Old Ones faced their first major war with another race from the stars. A race of land dwellers shaped like octopus drifted down from space and waged a monstrous war against the Old Ones, driving them back wholly into the sea for a time. The race was determined to be the prehuman spawn of Great Cthulhu..."
- The Cthulhu Lexicon
http://www.netherreal.de/library/lexicon/
I must warn you, there are some difficulties with the translation. For starters it is decidedly difficult to translate the language of the Old Ones into any human language, among other peculiarities their language is riddled with obscure references and metaphors that cast further shadows over the meaning. Nonetheless it is clear that the text below is a record of the beginning of the war between the Old Ones and the Spawn of Cthulhu.
Read on!
In B.C. 2,101,000,000
War was beginning.
Old One Captain: What happen ?
Mi-Go Mechanic: Something set up us the Dagon.¹
Old One Operator: We get dream-signal.
Old One Captain: What !
Old One Operator: Main scrying turn on.
Old One Captain: It's You !!
Cthulhu: How are you tentacle-men !!
Cthulhu: All your blood are belong to us.
Cthulhu: You are on the way to consumption.
Old One Captain: What you gibber !!
Cthulhu: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cthulhu: Ia Ia Ia Ia....
Old One Captain: Set loose every 'squink'² !!
Old One Captain: You know what you oozing.
Old One Captain: Move 'squink'.
Old One Captain: For great justice.
¹ This oddly phrased metaphor is thought to imply the impending state of being completely obliterated by a whale-size monster from the ocean depths.
² ‘Squink’ is the slang term for shoggoth dreamed up by Adam Weishaupt while experiencing the 18th century equivalent of a Vicodin daze.
ALL YOUR BLOOD ARE BELONG TO US!