My make-up may be flaking...
I have to remember that I came here for a purpose. I came to Baltimore so that I could make a better future for myself. A successful, happy life. But I was already happy where I was. Sure, I did not have a great job. It was a horrible job. I was not rich. But I was happy.
The days cannot go fast enough for me now. I tell myself that I should be enjoying this. I should be getting everything that I can out of a world class education. This should be my time. I feel like I've taken all of myself and shoved it in a drawer. I am not myself. It's been worse recently. More often than not, I am just unhappy with no one in Baltimore who relates. Most of this feeling stems from not seeing Jesse. Why would I leave him to pursue this life? Why couldn't I have waited? Even now, I cannot answer these questions. I can't decide if I don't know the answer, or if it's because I made a terrible life choice. Either way, I need to feel like myself again soon.
The days cannot go fast enough for me now. I tell myself that I should be enjoying this. I should be getting everything that I can out of a world class education. This should be my time. I feel like I've taken all of myself and shoved it in a drawer. I am not myself. It's been worse recently. More often than not, I am just unhappy with no one in Baltimore who relates. Most of this feeling stems from not seeing Jesse. Why would I leave him to pursue this life? Why couldn't I have waited? Even now, I cannot answer these questions. I can't decide if I don't know the answer, or if it's because I made a terrible life choice. Either way, I need to feel like myself again soon.