Note to self.

[middletowndream]

I thought it might be cathartic or at least personally gratifying to try to distill my thinking about life into a few basic ideas and preserve them here for posterity.

1. Knowledge typically leads to more uncertainty. For this reason, the more you know, the more sleepless nights you may have. This is just life and still better than ignorance.
2. Money does not buy happiness. At best, money buys off unhappiness. It keeps you free from basic problems, but does not solve more complex ones. Having a steady paycheck means never having to worry about whether you'll eat. But no amount of income makes the meaning of life more obvious.
3. Each person has to wrestle with the question of meaning individually. Some of them will find it in religion, others in their careers or families. Don't criticize. It's a question whose answer must please only one person answering it and whose end is far more important than its means.
4. Your life-long true friends will number far fewer than you can imagine at any given point. Self-appointed best friends may disappear. Don't be bitter. Friendships exist when two people benefit from mutual companionship. When those benefits disappear, it's natural that the friendship will too. Instead, make sure to do your part to maintain good friendships with those you don't want to lose.
5. Give yourself permission to not know all the answers to life's questions. Life would be very boring if you had it all mapped out. Much of your joy will be found in the surprises that spring up along your way.
6. Make time to be astonished by life. Get out and see the world. Climb a mountain. Do something that puts you in your place. It's difficult to wallow in self pity when you're surrounded by beauty.
7. Don't waste your time being bitter about love. Yes it hurts, but it's still the best thing going. Be thankful for the best parts of relationships and don't regard as failures the ones that end. Just because they didn't last forever doesn't negate the good.
8. You will never stop making mistakes. The best you can hope for is to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. Also, don't forget to forgive others for their humanity too.
9. Get happy with your body. If you're not happy, fix it. Losing weight isn't as hard as it seems. It's nothing compared to living with high cholesterol or heart disease.
10. Read. Television may be the most popular diversion in America, but the most important thoughts are still conveyed in print. Books are still remarkably free from commercialism.
11. Maintain a philosophy of Rational Loyalty. Be strong and devout in your personal values, but be willing to adopt a better position if one becomes apparent. The only thing worse than having no opinion is clinging to bankrupt one out of stubbornness.
12. Find someone to open up to. We weren't meant to suffer life's trials alone.
13. When you do find someone- a good friend or a lover- remember to take care of them too. You have two ears and one mouth. This ratio of 2-1 listening to speaking is a good way to maintain friendships.
14. The golden rule is so named for a reason. It appears in some form in nearly every religion and philosophy because it simply maximizes happiness and limits pain and suffering. Be good to people.
15. Love your family- warts and all. They're the only one you get and when nobody else cares, they are your best shot at a hug.

Amended November 9, 2012

1. The right time to contemplate the meaning of your life is in the clear, sober light of day. The world always looks black at 2am; go to bed and think hard in the morning.
2. Everyone you meet, absolutely everyone, is carrying around war medals, coffins, and debts. You can't see it, but they have bumps and bruises all over. And if you remember this, it will be easier to stop yourself from judging them mercilessly. What you are getting from them--however disappointing--may really be the best they can do right now. Honor that offering.
3. Choose a quest. The what doesn't matter as much as the how. Chasing after, struggling to be, self-overcoming are good for us--they move our eyes from what we are to what we could be, if only we try hard and are lucky.
4. Hug people hard. Nothing is guaranteed--make them all count.
5. When someone says, "wow, you're old," smile and softly reply, "you've missed so much."
6. Invest in your utterances and consider them carefully. You will always be surprised at how seriously people will take them and how profoundly fatal or fortifying your words can be for those who have ears to hear them.
7. The difference between a good person and a bad person is that a good person does good things. It's not magic. Try to do good for people every day.