food
It's getting easier not to eat every day. Not that that is a bad thing. I mean I have had ED in the past, but now I weigh a little over 200# - I live in a state where that is not unusual, but I didnt grow up here. I have had a bit a BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder) that has been consistent even though my ED has "faded" since my late 20s. It is partly because of the SSRI that I have gained this weight. One of the reasons I refuse to take them! I am on Wellbutrin, Lycria (sp?), and SAMe. I have only been on the Wellbutrin for a few weeks and the Lycria for a few days.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand... I have been depressed for literally years, actually, most of my life, but never so depressed that I didnt eat - usually the opposite. This time it's different. Maybe I can do something about my fat ass! Christ! Besides, we are having such bad financial problems that I am having to watch every penny at the grocery store (and everywhere else). I feel like I am eating less so my kids will have more (yes, it is that bad right now). Unfortunatly, my DH is making up for my lack of eating by eating more, or so it seems. He just fills his plate up again and again (he weighs about 260). His eating is making me want to eat even less !
I am not working right now, I cant even think of it (serious anxiety attacks!) but I am doing some stuff at home to bring in some money. Hoever, DH has been pressuring me on & off to get a job (even so much as suggesting I get a paper route (Oh yeah, that was what I got that Master's Degree for!). Once during one of these "discussions" I had a full-blown anxiety attack...he has never seen one of those. I think he might realize a little, but I KNOW he doesnt have any idea what is going on... nor could he even begin to understand.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand... I have been depressed for literally years, actually, most of my life, but never so depressed that I didnt eat - usually the opposite. This time it's different. Maybe I can do something about my fat ass! Christ! Besides, we are having such bad financial problems that I am having to watch every penny at the grocery store (and everywhere else). I feel like I am eating less so my kids will have more (yes, it is that bad right now). Unfortunatly, my DH is making up for my lack of eating by eating more, or so it seems. He just fills his plate up again and again (he weighs about 260). His eating is making me want to eat even less !
I am not working right now, I cant even think of it (serious anxiety attacks!) but I am doing some stuff at home to bring in some money. Hoever, DH has been pressuring me on & off to get a job (even so much as suggesting I get a paper route (Oh yeah, that was what I got that Master's Degree for!). Once during one of these "discussions" I had a full-blown anxiety attack...he has never seen one of those. I think he might realize a little, but I KNOW he doesnt have any idea what is going on... nor could he even begin to understand.