hostage to sexual beauty

[midday_volery]

Anna Kokkinos's film of Rupert Thomson's novel, 'the Book of Revelation', was a dark delight. Its an inversion story - according to an interview with Rupert Thomson anyway - and I guess - as the author - he should know. I am a bit weary of sexual inversion plots but this one's really brave and provocative. In this case a beautiful male dancer is

Comments

[hypocondriaque]

You've made me think now, of the times when I might have considered myself a sexual predator. It's true enough that I spent two years under the rigorous tutiledge of a pair of Doms in the countryside. I got quite good at commanding men, and wielding a black snake single tail whip. On that leg of my career, I took issue with men who "topped from the bottom." I was trained not to accept that scenario, and had interesting ways of turning it over.

I left after a short period, with an unpleasant taste in my mouth for psychodrama. But the truth is, I never wanted it to be really real. I was more interested in ceremony and ritual, which I considered very serious. Everyone else was playing, and I wanted it to be another form of shamanism. The only success I found was in the portion of my training that included sensory deprivation (mine.)

Even earlier in my sexual experience, I learned that I had a penchant for teaching boys. I remember teaching several who weren't ready to be taught, only to find later that I grew scared of them the moment they lost their innocence. I have some regrets, obviously.

If I read you correctly, you felt bullied, and I am of the opinion that playing with boys when they aren't ready is wrong. It's an abuse of power. But for some women, it's a matter of establishing equilibrium. Some women don't know what it means to be graceful. Unfortunately, they learned their bad manners somewhere, probably in a moment as unhappy as yours.