I'm Yours
i've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
so i drew a new face and laughed
The song of the day is "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, because it is the happiest song I've ever heard. Somebody accused me of listening to depressing music, and of course I went immediately defensive... then I thought about it, and I realized that I do listen to depressing music. And then I thought about all the times people asked me if I was depressed or something because of the lyrics I left in my away message. And I'm like, "What? No... why do you say that?" and they're like, "Your away message basically says you want to kill yourself." and I'm like, "No! That's just the music I listen to, silly!"
Jenny Lewis and her struggle with family and religion? Ani Difranco with her open-ended sexuality and relationship problems? Bright Eyes and his incredible deep hole of emo-ness? I adore Tegan and Sara and their bitter ex-girlfriends. Sufjan Stevens makes death seem beautiful. Arcade Fire will never get the girl. Architecture in Helsinki will never be rich. Artic Monkeys will never find contentment. Postal Service may hide their sadness in upbeat melodies, but they're sad too. meWithoutyou? The name says it all. There ain't no party with Ghostland Observatory. Regina Spektor's just a crazy bitch.
So I went through my iPod and I tried to find happy songs. And I found a lot of happy music. I don't know what it is about this so-called depressing music that I love so much, but I maintain that it's just a fluke: I have no affinity for sad music... I just happen to like the sad music I hear, because I listen to a lot of music, and they're happens to be a lot of sad music out there. That makes sense. No, really. It does.
Besides this revelation in music, today has been unproductive. I took a test and I think I did well on it, but I'm never sure with tests anymore. I'm either falsely secure or deathly afraid of the results after the test.
This week is Queer Texas Conference. I kind of wish I didn't take this internship. The queer council is crazy. A gay frat is cool. I wouldn't want to be in it, but I think it's understandable. Then they want a check box on the roommate compatibility form that asks if you're comfortable to room with a queer kid. Then they want gender neutral bathrooms. Then they want a gay-only floor. Then the Daily Texan gave the QSA all sorts of recognition and they got pissy because the articles referred to them as the gay community, as opposed to the queer community. And for Christ's sake, if I get another email from Ryan Miller...
I respect the work they're trying to do. But jesus. If you give a mouse a cookie... I was asked back for the summer, but I'm not going to take the offer.
I don't know where all this spare time has come from, but it's kind of overwhelming. I've gotten used to having no spare time, having four jobs and taking 16 hours and clubs and shit, but I think I'm getting too used to it. Now I have an easy week ahead of me and I'm going crazy. I might ask for more hours at work. Or something.
I turn 18 in one week from today. I am actually kind of sad to leave 17 behind. It was a good year and all, but I'll mostly miss the shock value of telling people I'm 17. That was fun.
i guess what i'm saying is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the season
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue
and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
so i drew a new face and laughed
The song of the day is "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz, because it is the happiest song I've ever heard. Somebody accused me of listening to depressing music, and of course I went immediately defensive... then I thought about it, and I realized that I do listen to depressing music. And then I thought about all the times people asked me if I was depressed or something because of the lyrics I left in my away message. And I'm like, "What? No... why do you say that?" and they're like, "Your away message basically says you want to kill yourself." and I'm like, "No! That's just the music I listen to, silly!"
Jenny Lewis and her struggle with family and religion? Ani Difranco with her open-ended sexuality and relationship problems? Bright Eyes and his incredible deep hole of emo-ness? I adore Tegan and Sara and their bitter ex-girlfriends. Sufjan Stevens makes death seem beautiful. Arcade Fire will never get the girl. Architecture in Helsinki will never be rich. Artic Monkeys will never find contentment. Postal Service may hide their sadness in upbeat melodies, but they're sad too. meWithoutyou? The name says it all. There ain't no party with Ghostland Observatory. Regina Spektor's just a crazy bitch.
So I went through my iPod and I tried to find happy songs. And I found a lot of happy music. I don't know what it is about this so-called depressing music that I love so much, but I maintain that it's just a fluke: I have no affinity for sad music... I just happen to like the sad music I hear, because I listen to a lot of music, and they're happens to be a lot of sad music out there. That makes sense. No, really. It does.
Besides this revelation in music, today has been unproductive. I took a test and I think I did well on it, but I'm never sure with tests anymore. I'm either falsely secure or deathly afraid of the results after the test.
This week is Queer Texas Conference. I kind of wish I didn't take this internship. The queer council is crazy. A gay frat is cool. I wouldn't want to be in it, but I think it's understandable. Then they want a check box on the roommate compatibility form that asks if you're comfortable to room with a queer kid. Then they want gender neutral bathrooms. Then they want a gay-only floor. Then the Daily Texan gave the QSA all sorts of recognition and they got pissy because the articles referred to them as the gay community, as opposed to the queer community. And for Christ's sake, if I get another email from Ryan Miller...
I respect the work they're trying to do. But jesus. If you give a mouse a cookie... I was asked back for the summer, but I'm not going to take the offer.
I don't know where all this spare time has come from, but it's kind of overwhelming. I've gotten used to having no spare time, having four jobs and taking 16 hours and clubs and shit, but I think I'm getting too used to it. Now I have an easy week ahead of me and I'm going crazy. I might ask for more hours at work. Or something.
I turn 18 in one week from today. I am actually kind of sad to leave 17 behind. It was a good year and all, but I'll mostly miss the shock value of telling people I'm 17. That was fun.
i guess what i'm saying is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the season
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue