(no subject)
So I think I'm back. I feel in a much better mind set than I have been for the past few weeks or however long it is since I last did a proper post. I think it's been since I returned from visiting my boyfriend that I've been sort of a mess. I think the argument we had threw me off for a while and the fact that I ate a lot more while I was there than I normally do definitely didn't help. I've found it near impossible to get back on track and start restricting successfully again. I feel huge because of how much weight I've put on but rather than use that to motivate myself I've sunk into a complete depression and SI'd. Nothing too major though. And I haven't in a few days. So I've spent literally all my time with bingeing, SI and being miserable. And angry at myself. But finally today something seems to have clicked. I still feel absolutely huge, so much so that I can't even bring myself to weigh in because I'm terrified of what it will say, but I think I can get back to restricting now. I've had a little something already today but as long as I don't go overboard tonight (I still have to have dinner) I'll be fine. I think trying to cut down little by little will be easier than just going straight to liquids only all day until dinner.
Well, I think that's everything foodwise. To be honest there's not much news on the rest of my life. I'm still jobless but waiting to hear back from a few teaching assistant jobs. Fingers crossed! I so need a job. I'm poor poor poor and bored out of mind. Which isn't helping with my bingeing. I tend to eat when I'm bored. If I was working not only would I not be bored all the time but it would be a lot easier to avoid food without raising suspicion.
I've seen my cousin a little bit, not as much as we were doing before but still, it's better than nothing. It's so much easier talking to him than anyone else, just because I don't need to try and be something I'm not. Which makes a change. He understands if I'm feeling a bit shit and doesn't expect me to always be super happy smiley Laura, like I have to be around everyone else.
Anyways, rather than rambling on some more I'll post some pictures. A few bits from what I've been up to since I went to down to visit the boy. There's a couple of me in Regent's Park being daft, one of when I met my brother after he finished his march (excuse how much of a mess I look - I was massively hungover. But very proud), one from a recent night out, a few posey ones of me in a hat and one of my dog hehe!
TTFN xxx
Well, I think that's everything foodwise. To be honest there's not much news on the rest of my life. I'm still jobless but waiting to hear back from a few teaching assistant jobs. Fingers crossed! I so need a job. I'm poor poor poor and bored out of mind. Which isn't helping with my bingeing. I tend to eat when I'm bored. If I was working not only would I not be bored all the time but it would be a lot easier to avoid food without raising suspicion.
I've seen my cousin a little bit, not as much as we were doing before but still, it's better than nothing. It's so much easier talking to him than anyone else, just because I don't need to try and be something I'm not. Which makes a change. He understands if I'm feeling a bit shit and doesn't expect me to always be super happy smiley Laura, like I have to be around everyone else.
Anyways, rather than rambling on some more I'll post some pictures. A few bits from what I've been up to since I went to down to visit the boy. There's a couple of me in Regent's Park being daft, one of when I met my brother after he finished his march (excuse how much of a mess I look - I was massively hungover. But very proud), one from a recent night out, a few posey ones of me in a hat and one of my dog hehe!
TTFN xxx