(no subject)
I don't even know. I don't know if I can even write about this to sort this out. I've got a gamut of emotions right now. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry and I don't even know why I'd want to cry. I'm just so jumbled up right now, it's ridiculous. And wicked confusing. Like I just don't even know. I feel like I've been bombarded with so so much information that I can't even process it. I don't know how to begin. Of all the things I've been told, the thing that gets me most is not Brad confiding in Kyle.. it's Jeff talking to Kyle. I don't know why but that just kind of blows my mind. It's so hard to grasp right at the moment. I don't even know. I've tried having a conversation with my sister about this since she's the one who told me but I can't even process. I mean I wasn't really blind-sided by this information. I knew it was coming. I knew something had changed and was probably going to happen but like I guess it's like the depth and the length. Well, maybe not depth like really deep but like more than I had thought. Sometimes I feel like I just fail at life so much that... it's not that I don't see worth in myself but I feel so very ordinary but like I just don't know. I'm so confused.
I feel different and more me. Like I'm up to a challenge and up for whatever God has in store. I want nothing more than to follow God's path. I want to seek those ancient crossroads, find the good path and walk in it.
Actually, I have no reservations about him. I have reservations about me. Not in a selfish way, but I'm much younger. It's more like, how does his brother and sister-in-law feel about this? Even Pastor Greg and Daniell? Do they have any reservations? I guess that's my thought process at the moment. I want to know what they think about this. How did I even get to be so old that I'd be in this place with these thoughts. I don't know . It boggles my mind. When did I grow up?
I feel different and more me. Like I'm up to a challenge and up for whatever God has in store. I want nothing more than to follow God's path. I want to seek those ancient crossroads, find the good path and walk in it.
Actually, I have no reservations about him. I have reservations about me. Not in a selfish way, but I'm much younger. It's more like, how does his brother and sister-in-law feel about this? Even Pastor Greg and Daniell? Do they have any reservations? I guess that's my thought process at the moment. I want to know what they think about this. How did I even get to be so old that I'd be in this place with these thoughts. I don't know . It boggles my mind. When did I grow up?