I Got SSSSSSSSTTTTEEEAAAMMM HHEEAATTT!!!!!!!

Sep 22, 2006 19:34


I don't know who is more stupid, me or my schedule.  i'm so so so overwhelmed.  i wish representative from some cute little college somewhere would just come, take my hand and say "it's ok melanie.  we like you."    i just want to know if everything is going to be ok, come 2nd semester, and i wish i had little elves to help me with this whole irritable college application process, because I DO NOT LIKE IT SAM I AM!!!!  I DO NOT LIKE IT ON THE COMPUTER, I DO NOT LIKE IT WITH A TUTOR.  I DO NOT LIKE THE COMMON APPLICATION, I DO NOT LIKE IT ON VACATION!!!  I DO NOT LIKE IT IN A CHAIR (OR AT BUILD A BEAR), I DO NOT LIKE IT ANYWHERE!

And if one more person suggests that I sort out my priorities, I'm going to pull someone's hair out.  THERE'S NO WAY TO PRIORITIZE WHEN EVERYTHING IS OF IMPORTANCE.  Hello college board,  I'm Melanie Elizabeth and I'm on crack.  You've successfully driven me out of my mind, and things have only just begun. There are actually good things happening (such as the chorus line dvd..hip hop horrrraayyyy), but I'm too much of a nutcase to appreciate anything.  And I'm turning into a bad combination of my grandma, and my mother when she's mad.  I DON'T LIKKKEEE IITTTTTT!!!!!!  And the worst problem is, by the time I finish sending out my applications, there won't even be money left for therapy....FOR ME.  I told you I'm not ready to go to college.  I'm like 12.  WTF???

I DONT EVEN HAVE A DRESS FOR MY BROTHER'S BAR MITZVAH, OR HOMECOMING, TODD WON'T LET ME TELL MY PARENTS HE'S A HOMOOOOSSEEXXXUUAALLL, SO THEY CAN SPARE ME THE SEX TALK WHEN PROM ROLLS ALONG, I'M APPLYING EARLY TO EMERSON, MY BIRTHDAY'S IN 7  6 DAYS, I HAVE AUDITIONS FOR URINETOWN ON MY BIRTHDAY, AND IM WHORING MYSELF OUT IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL ON THAT DAY AS WELL.  TOMORROW IS JEWISH DAY # 2 AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TAKE MY SHIFT AT WORK.  SATURDAY'S CALL BACKS  FOR URINETOWN, AND THE NEXT DAY IM SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PRIVATE LESSON WITH A WOMAN IN THE CITY TO PREPARE ME FOR COLLEGE AUDITIONS, BUT I HAVE NO MONOLOGUES AND NO SONGS TO WORK WITH AS OF NOW.  TALK ABOUT PREPARATION.  OH AND AS WE SPEAK MY DAD AND MY GRANDMOTHER'S 90 YEAR OLD BOY FRIEND ARE ARGUING ABOUT POLITICS AND RELIGION AT THE TABLE.  Just in case I do something crazy like rob a bank, or a zoo, someone can print this entry out and read it court, so maybe someone might have mercy on me.

I'm gonna go down and pretend that I remember how to socialize about things that aren't negative and don't involve myself.  I'm not even hungry.  GGGGAAAHHHHHH!!!
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