Not in the mood to work....
But gotta wake up and get ready to drive. Ah well.
I actually look through my "notes" on FA recently. Funny how a while back I used to get messaged here and there. Nowadays it's just silent. Like everything else....silent on my end. I mean, I upload stuff, say a few random things on my journal there, regardless if it's intelligent or not. But in the end, no responses. Not much. Either I am not interesting.....or I just got nothing to relate to with the current crowd. I don't know.
OOOOHHH, and I still got a few notes from a younger lady who at the time was so funny and lively. I wish I knew what happened to her. I KNOW where she's at (on FA, not in RL. I no stalker, hehe). But she sure changed to someone a bit angry and bitter. AH well, as if I hadn't gone down that path myself. Hell, I was already on it when she popped out of nowhere, wanting to chat. I know it's not me that got her down there. But damn, I hate feeling like I failed to try to be positive and be someone trustworthy. Only to be ignored and considered as "one of them".
Ah well, nowadays I rather just keep my distance. Less chances of being on the list of jerks. Knew too many through the years that were someone I actually found aspiring. Made me wonder how they were able to remain cheery. Only to watch them bottle up and hide from the world the moment they got hit with the worst part of reality. And I can't help but wonder if I had something to do with it. Did I point it out too much to the point when it happened and I got shunned out cause I was right? Or did it happened and I was shunned out cause they needed someone positive, and I was just too negative? Maybe the later.
I don't know. All I know is I genuinely adored them. Made me smile. And I tried to be uplifting. Or maybe the reason I wasn't uplifting cause I tried too hard? Heh, I guess I'll never know. No longer in my teens and twenties, I shot past that age group where I am allowed to mess up and "make it up".
I actually look through my "notes" on FA recently. Funny how a while back I used to get messaged here and there. Nowadays it's just silent. Like everything else....silent on my end. I mean, I upload stuff, say a few random things on my journal there, regardless if it's intelligent or not. But in the end, no responses. Not much. Either I am not interesting.....or I just got nothing to relate to with the current crowd. I don't know.
OOOOHHH, and I still got a few notes from a younger lady who at the time was so funny and lively. I wish I knew what happened to her. I KNOW where she's at (on FA, not in RL. I no stalker, hehe). But she sure changed to someone a bit angry and bitter. AH well, as if I hadn't gone down that path myself. Hell, I was already on it when she popped out of nowhere, wanting to chat. I know it's not me that got her down there. But damn, I hate feeling like I failed to try to be positive and be someone trustworthy. Only to be ignored and considered as "one of them".
Ah well, nowadays I rather just keep my distance. Less chances of being on the list of jerks. Knew too many through the years that were someone I actually found aspiring. Made me wonder how they were able to remain cheery. Only to watch them bottle up and hide from the world the moment they got hit with the worst part of reality. And I can't help but wonder if I had something to do with it. Did I point it out too much to the point when it happened and I got shunned out cause I was right? Or did it happened and I was shunned out cause they needed someone positive, and I was just too negative? Maybe the later.
I don't know. All I know is I genuinely adored them. Made me smile. And I tried to be uplifting. Or maybe the reason I wasn't uplifting cause I tried too hard? Heh, I guess I'll never know. No longer in my teens and twenties, I shot past that age group where I am allowed to mess up and "make it up".