hey!
Woah seems like forever that I have last written in this journal thing. lol..well lets see, a bunch of things have changed. Okay well the main thing that changed that mattered the most to me was Randy. Me and him are no longer friends at all....i mean he says hi once in a while and i return it with a smile but oh well, i am talking to ray as a friend again. very little but he is helping me on the way, and then there is a new person in my life that impacted my life and i really appreciate it. His name is Sal and he is really awesome and so cool and has been helping me on my way and i see that i am really happy all the time when i talk to him because he opens my eyes and tells me different things that i never think of before. Well now there is jake, i know you guys are all like whatever to him, but umm..he broke up with me and barely yesterday, "someone" which is a good friend of his made me realize that he is not everything. He is just guy that stayed with me for a while and stopped because he wanted other things. I think that i may just barely start trying new things. but i am going back to my normal self such as the things i used to do like go out and have fun. I mean real fun, lately i have and i love it. I feel like my old self, but not completely I still am my old good self, but oh well, lol..you might think this might sound funny but i am barely starting to wear make up...yay....i feel pretty now, usually i would tell my mom like oh no mom i dont need make up because i got someone speacial and my mom would understand and now its like me understanding that i should just try new things and i may end up liking them. I am still understanding that i have to accept changes and i guess i have to move on not wait, but i still dunno..anyone hardly reads this so i guess i feel safe writing here so thats cool...right? well yeah.. i dunno...everything has its ways and oh well i shall stick by it. i dunno..so yeah...