B is for Bad
Beowulf is bad, bad, OMG I knew it would be bad but how can it be *this* bad, bad. Truly, I am impressed with its badness.
If I were not an artist, perhaps I would not have noticed that it pretty much looked like crap from beginning to end. Perhaps if I did not know and love the original, I would not mind that they mangled it ruthlessly in service of... well, no reason really. Perhaps I am too attached to internal believability, and so it's just a quirk of mine that even if I can forgive a thousand impossible things, when you arbitrarily decide that the hero can suddenly, say, reach something he couldn't reach before, I feel deeply insulted. Perhaps I am just a grumpy old man who doesn't find ridiculous camera moves or accidental impalements remotely dramatic. Perhaps I am too sympathetic to the feminist sensibilities of the woman sitting next to me, whose gender is raked over the coals in, I suppose, a viking-like fashion.
Yeah, well, all that aside, it sucks. Don't even bother.
Oh, and seeing it in 3D at the IMAX didn't add much.
To end on an upbeat note, here are a few things that were good:
- The costumes
- Wiglaf's character
- The dragon, and the fight with the dragon
- Um... yeah, that's all I got.
If I were not an artist, perhaps I would not have noticed that it pretty much looked like crap from beginning to end. Perhaps if I did not know and love the original, I would not mind that they mangled it ruthlessly in service of... well, no reason really. Perhaps I am too attached to internal believability, and so it's just a quirk of mine that even if I can forgive a thousand impossible things, when you arbitrarily decide that the hero can suddenly, say, reach something he couldn't reach before, I feel deeply insulted. Perhaps I am just a grumpy old man who doesn't find ridiculous camera moves or accidental impalements remotely dramatic. Perhaps I am too sympathetic to the feminist sensibilities of the woman sitting next to me, whose gender is raked over the coals in, I suppose, a viking-like fashion.
Yeah, well, all that aside, it sucks. Don't even bother.
Oh, and seeing it in 3D at the IMAX didn't add much.
To end on an upbeat note, here are a few things that were good:
- The costumes
- Wiglaf's character
- The dragon, and the fight with the dragon
- Um... yeah, that's all I got.