(no subject)
Can we first just talk about how Lindsay Lohan will never even be a pimple on Marilyn Monroe's ass? Seriously, bitch...give it up.
Anyway...
The first day came and went. I'm totally dreading tomorrow, and I feel like such an asshole. No, I'm not just gonna up and quit...I can't. But I'm having my doubts. I feel incredibly overhwlemed. I feel like I'll never get it and I also feel like I'll be very unhappy. I KNOW I only have ONE day under my belt. I know this dammit! But still. I feel like all this build up was for nothing great. I feel like I'm gonna fail...or be miserable...or both. Fuck. I know I sound like an asshole. I know it I know it. I just feel like I didn't go through all of this just to be stuck with a shit job. Working at Kronos was a piece of cake...and now I have all these rules and guidlines and restrictions and this bullshit corporate assholery just to make four dollars less per hour...and not even be guaranteed a full time, permanent job at the end of it all. I know who ever reads this will cringe at my ungrateful whiney bullshit. But I don't fucking care. I can't stress enough how bad I feel for having these thoughts, but I feel like I just settled again. I got blindsided, backed into a corner, and had to settle. Shit. I just feel like I've made a huge mistake. I think I wanna start looking for something else. At the very least I have ground to stand on...as shaky as it is. But I can maybe project more positive energy in an interview. I'm back in the game and I can go with the flow better. I dunno. I just have terrible doubts. I'm literally petrified.
Anyway...
The first day came and went. I'm totally dreading tomorrow, and I feel like such an asshole. No, I'm not just gonna up and quit...I can't. But I'm having my doubts. I feel incredibly overhwlemed. I feel like I'll never get it and I also feel like I'll be very unhappy. I KNOW I only have ONE day under my belt. I know this dammit! But still. I feel like all this build up was for nothing great. I feel like I'm gonna fail...or be miserable...or both. Fuck. I know I sound like an asshole. I know it I know it. I just feel like I didn't go through all of this just to be stuck with a shit job. Working at Kronos was a piece of cake...and now I have all these rules and guidlines and restrictions and this bullshit corporate assholery just to make four dollars less per hour...and not even be guaranteed a full time, permanent job at the end of it all. I know who ever reads this will cringe at my ungrateful whiney bullshit. But I don't fucking care. I can't stress enough how bad I feel for having these thoughts, but I feel like I just settled again. I got blindsided, backed into a corner, and had to settle. Shit. I just feel like I've made a huge mistake. I think I wanna start looking for something else. At the very least I have ground to stand on...as shaky as it is. But I can maybe project more positive energy in an interview. I'm back in the game and I can go with the flow better. I dunno. I just have terrible doubts. I'm literally petrified.