it's 3 AM I must be lonely
Actually I'm not lonely but it is almost 3, and I can't sleep. I fell asleep but then Hannah called, which is totally fine because I said she could, but I was way confused and out of it because i had just woken up and I told her I couldn't talk because my mom was upstairs (which is true), but now I'm wishing I could have talked some and comforted her because she's home alone and that can be scary (how's that for a run-on sentence?). I would call back, but she's probabaly asleep by now, and she has SATs. Hmm.. kinda frustrating...that's enough of that. Brendan I read your post from a couple days ago and I really need to talk to you. I know that's not helpful to say in a LiveJournal entry, but I'm sitting here at 2:40 and writing one, so it seemed reasonable. What else... it's weird to be posting again, sorry that last one was a little sarcastic in parts--Hannah was forcing me to post, using her whip as usual since you all know I'm her bitch. Haha. I'm glad I can sort of laugh at that now, that really pissed me off for awhile. Speaking of which, Hannah and I are back together as of last Saturday, for those of you who don't know. I don't think I've really told anyone, but people have probably guessed or heard from her, and I'm telling you now so there ya go! I will ask one thing from my friends who read this: it's fine if you don't care to know or understand anything about me and her or how our relationship has gone (I mainly just explain if I'm asked), but please don't make any assumptions about things you know absolutely nothing about. I already have my mom to do that, and I mean it when I say it makes an ass out of you and umptions. Not to mention me. OK sorry if that had a little anger to it, I just needed to get that out this time.
I realized something about livejournal, which is that I only feel compelled to post when I'm sort of frustrated or feeling bad in some way, and don't immediately have someone to talk to about it. I actually feel pretty decent right now, but even this time my posting came out of that frustration with the Hannah call and reaction to Brendan's entry. The reason I'm bringing this up is because, contrary to what it may seem like, my life is REALLY REALLY good right now. I mean seriously. So far 18 is the best year of my life, and I'm not someone who says that every year. My classes are way way way less stressful this year, and I was explaining to Brendan and Murphy how little work I end up doing for them. You'd think at some point I'd feel bad about not doing much work, or get tired of having free time and school off...no, this year kicks ass. Pretty much everything is really, really relaxing and fun and good. It's kinda not fair how some peoples lives really suck, they don't have enough to eat or a family or a home, and my life fuckin rocks, but you know what? If everyone who has a good life feels bad about themselves because they're hogging all the goodness, then everybody's life just fuckin sucks. The best I can do is to keep loving what I have, doing my best to help make friends and families' lives a little better, and giving money to kids who need it. That's all I plan to do for awhile.
For the most part, my happiness doesn't depend on other people, but if it did, I'd be in pretty good hands. Hannah I love you, and friends, everybody, you guys are so incredibly awesome. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be friends with in high school. Brendan and Murphy, I figured out I've been friends with you guys for about half of my life now. Brendan keep me posted about the studio, and Murphy about college. Sorry about the humming haha--you can come play Ratchet and Clank whenever. Jackie, you have such a sweet heart, I hope you stay how you are. Zac, you totally deserve to get into Pomona with as much work as you've put into it, and while I know you'll be happy wherever you end up, I really hope it's there just so we stay friends (you too Murphy, but I already wrote that on the back of my senior picture for you). Cher, I really trust you with stuff about me and Hannah, and I'm really glad I got to know you better because you are like a billion times cooler than I could have guessed. Caity, we haven't been as close these last couple years, but that's alright, it works out how it does. You're the kind of friend that takes being a friend seriously, and by that I mean you really care and you remember stuff like birthdays and giving presents to people, even if they're really slow giving one back (AHEM me). Don't worry though, I didn't forget. That reminds me, Jackie too... ok where was I? If this is boring please stop reading, I assume that's how LiveJournal works is you read it by choice so might as well write what I want. It's 3:20 now so I'm too tired to get through everyone, but Colleen, keep running babe. When you're running you seem happier, and I can't stand to see you unhappy. One of the coolest things ever would be if someday I opened the paper and read the comics, and you wrote them (and I'd laugh of course), and then you'd open it and read about my first CD- The Best of Michael Bayley- and how he had this really cool friend who gave him that name for his first CD. That'll be the day. And Josiah, some day I'll bost to my kids about how I got to jam with Josiah Failing in high school, and I was even friends with him, and freshman year we'd just walk around and around the halls talking. If it weren't for you I don't know if things would have worked out the way they did at all, seriously. You were my only friend at Lincoln at the beginning of Freshman year, and you introduced me to pretty much everyone after that, including Hannah. Thanks dood.
I'm too tired to write something about everybody, but you know I'm thinking it if I'm friends with you. Kathayoon, you're gonna have to help show me the ropes when I get to college, cuz Caleb will be gone and I need someone I trust to break me in at first. ahhh... well, until next time (which who knows how long that will be haha), adios amigos!
I realized something about livejournal, which is that I only feel compelled to post when I'm sort of frustrated or feeling bad in some way, and don't immediately have someone to talk to about it. I actually feel pretty decent right now, but even this time my posting came out of that frustration with the Hannah call and reaction to Brendan's entry. The reason I'm bringing this up is because, contrary to what it may seem like, my life is REALLY REALLY good right now. I mean seriously. So far 18 is the best year of my life, and I'm not someone who says that every year. My classes are way way way less stressful this year, and I was explaining to Brendan and Murphy how little work I end up doing for them. You'd think at some point I'd feel bad about not doing much work, or get tired of having free time and school off...no, this year kicks ass. Pretty much everything is really, really relaxing and fun and good. It's kinda not fair how some peoples lives really suck, they don't have enough to eat or a family or a home, and my life fuckin rocks, but you know what? If everyone who has a good life feels bad about themselves because they're hogging all the goodness, then everybody's life just fuckin sucks. The best I can do is to keep loving what I have, doing my best to help make friends and families' lives a little better, and giving money to kids who need it. That's all I plan to do for awhile.
For the most part, my happiness doesn't depend on other people, but if it did, I'd be in pretty good hands. Hannah I love you, and friends, everybody, you guys are so incredibly awesome. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be friends with in high school. Brendan and Murphy, I figured out I've been friends with you guys for about half of my life now. Brendan keep me posted about the studio, and Murphy about college. Sorry about the humming haha--you can come play Ratchet and Clank whenever. Jackie, you have such a sweet heart, I hope you stay how you are. Zac, you totally deserve to get into Pomona with as much work as you've put into it, and while I know you'll be happy wherever you end up, I really hope it's there just so we stay friends (you too Murphy, but I already wrote that on the back of my senior picture for you). Cher, I really trust you with stuff about me and Hannah, and I'm really glad I got to know you better because you are like a billion times cooler than I could have guessed. Caity, we haven't been as close these last couple years, but that's alright, it works out how it does. You're the kind of friend that takes being a friend seriously, and by that I mean you really care and you remember stuff like birthdays and giving presents to people, even if they're really slow giving one back (AHEM me). Don't worry though, I didn't forget. That reminds me, Jackie too... ok where was I? If this is boring please stop reading, I assume that's how LiveJournal works is you read it by choice so might as well write what I want. It's 3:20 now so I'm too tired to get through everyone, but Colleen, keep running babe. When you're running you seem happier, and I can't stand to see you unhappy. One of the coolest things ever would be if someday I opened the paper and read the comics, and you wrote them (and I'd laugh of course), and then you'd open it and read about my first CD- The Best of Michael Bayley- and how he had this really cool friend who gave him that name for his first CD. That'll be the day. And Josiah, some day I'll bost to my kids about how I got to jam with Josiah Failing in high school, and I was even friends with him, and freshman year we'd just walk around and around the halls talking. If it weren't for you I don't know if things would have worked out the way they did at all, seriously. You were my only friend at Lincoln at the beginning of Freshman year, and you introduced me to pretty much everyone after that, including Hannah. Thanks dood.
I'm too tired to write something about everybody, but you know I'm thinking it if I'm friends with you. Kathayoon, you're gonna have to help show me the ropes when I get to college, cuz Caleb will be gone and I need someone I trust to break me in at first. ahhh... well, until next time (which who knows how long that will be haha), adios amigos!