I am alive
Things are not going real well for me. Mike is being a jerk again. I am so sick of all the drama from him and of course I wish that Tessa could feel safe and secure in her home. I have known for quite some time that will probably never happen as long as she lives with her dad, I just wish that it was not so bad on her emotional health. I also wish that I had enough in me to bring her back to me, to live safe and secure with her mom, this is where she belongs. I love her so much and there is just nothing that I can do to protect her, it really kills me.
Bill is impossible. On the one hand there is nothing that he says that does not make it seem like there is going to be more between us and on the other he is clear that he only wants to be friends. At this point, I am not even sure that I care which way that it is going to be any more but it really is pissing me off that he took so much advantage of me, as far as the money goes and that I am getting so screwed now by it. I think that part of what makes me so mad about the whole thing is knowing deep down that I would probably do it all again even knowing now that he is just going to screw me again. I am hoping that we get to talk this week while Cassie is away.
I am going to go and see about getting some sleep, so that I can get up and get to school in time to park close.
Bill is impossible. On the one hand there is nothing that he says that does not make it seem like there is going to be more between us and on the other he is clear that he only wants to be friends. At this point, I am not even sure that I care which way that it is going to be any more but it really is pissing me off that he took so much advantage of me, as far as the money goes and that I am getting so screwed now by it. I think that part of what makes me so mad about the whole thing is knowing deep down that I would probably do it all again even knowing now that he is just going to screw me again. I am hoping that we get to talk this week while Cassie is away.
I am going to go and see about getting some sleep, so that I can get up and get to school in time to park close.